Kylie Jordan
@kylie-jordan.bsky.social
Sci-Fi Nerd, Adrenaline Junkie, Crafty, For Rent, Dad Jokes, Dinosaur Tamer, Goofball, Meme Curator, Animal Lover, Ostrobogulous, Positivity, Wholesome Whore, California Girl
https://linktr.ee/Lavishfixation
https://linktr.ee/Lavishfixation
Went ice skating for the second time in my life today and I clearly was not informed you need thick warm socks … rip my toes
December 20, 2025 at 4:19 AM
Went ice skating for the second time in my life today and I clearly was not informed you need thick warm socks … rip my toes
My first reverse sear roast beef. I’ll cut it tomorrow and see if I have some good deli meat or if I completely miffed it. 🤷♀️
December 19, 2025 at 1:55 AM
My first reverse sear roast beef. I’ll cut it tomorrow and see if I have some good deli meat or if I completely miffed it. 🤷♀️
Went to the bathroom, half asleep, this morning and I pushed the wrong button on my bidet and accidentally gave myself a high-powered freezing cold enema.
Sooo yeah, hope your day is going well.
Sooo yeah, hope your day is going well.
December 16, 2025 at 4:44 PM
Went to the bathroom, half asleep, this morning and I pushed the wrong button on my bidet and accidentally gave myself a high-powered freezing cold enema.
Sooo yeah, hope your day is going well.
Sooo yeah, hope your day is going well.
I think I made new friends today?! Very exciting stuff.
December 16, 2025 at 4:33 AM
I think I made new friends today?! Very exciting stuff.
All the technology we have and no one has invented a decent printer that doesn’t make you want to scream and pull your hair out?
December 13, 2025 at 11:27 PM
All the technology we have and no one has invented a decent printer that doesn’t make you want to scream and pull your hair out?
Tomorrow I’m making Jalapeño Bacon-Wrapped Salmon with broccoli and roasted garlic risotto and I’m thinking about what kind of glaze for the salmon…
[] Apple Rum
[] Maple Burbon
[] Honey Maple
[] Garlic Honey
[] Mustard Maple
[] Apple Rum
[] Maple Burbon
[] Honey Maple
[] Garlic Honey
[] Mustard Maple
a woman says well what do you think on a paramount network ad
ALT: a woman says well what do you think on a paramount network ad
media.tenor.com
December 11, 2025 at 10:25 PM
Tomorrow I’m making Jalapeño Bacon-Wrapped Salmon with broccoli and roasted garlic risotto and I’m thinking about what kind of glaze for the salmon…
[] Apple Rum
[] Maple Burbon
[] Honey Maple
[] Garlic Honey
[] Mustard Maple
[] Apple Rum
[] Maple Burbon
[] Honey Maple
[] Garlic Honey
[] Mustard Maple
I haven’t seen the sun in 3 weeks. This year has been the densest and most persistent tule fog I’ve seen experienced. 400 miles of thick fog for weeks with no end in sight.
I might go up to Yosemite for an afternoon just to get some vitamin D 😬
I might go up to Yosemite for an afternoon just to get some vitamin D 😬
December 10, 2025 at 4:53 PM
I haven’t seen the sun in 3 weeks. This year has been the densest and most persistent tule fog I’ve seen experienced. 400 miles of thick fog for weeks with no end in sight.
I might go up to Yosemite for an afternoon just to get some vitamin D 😬
I might go up to Yosemite for an afternoon just to get some vitamin D 😬
I have a story.
My dad was born in 1933 and his family was hit hard by the depression. His father died in the military and he never met him. My grandmother had three children, two girls and a boy. My father was given up for adoption when he was 5 because his mother couldn’t afford to feed him.
My dad was born in 1933 and his family was hit hard by the depression. His father died in the military and he never met him. My grandmother had three children, two girls and a boy. My father was given up for adoption when he was 5 because his mother couldn’t afford to feed him.
December 9, 2025 at 6:38 PM
I have a story.
My dad was born in 1933 and his family was hit hard by the depression. His father died in the military and he never met him. My grandmother had three children, two girls and a boy. My father was given up for adoption when he was 5 because his mother couldn’t afford to feed him.
My dad was born in 1933 and his family was hit hard by the depression. His father died in the military and he never met him. My grandmother had three children, two girls and a boy. My father was given up for adoption when he was 5 because his mother couldn’t afford to feed him.
Today’s harvest:
Last of the radishes
Baby arugula
Swiss chard
Flat leaf parsley
A few picnic peppers
Grapefruit
Looks like I’m having a salad with a citrus vinaigrette for dinner 😋 maybe make a chimichurri?
Last of the radishes
Baby arugula
Swiss chard
Flat leaf parsley
A few picnic peppers
Grapefruit
Looks like I’m having a salad with a citrus vinaigrette for dinner 😋 maybe make a chimichurri?
December 8, 2025 at 10:17 PM
Today’s harvest:
Last of the radishes
Baby arugula
Swiss chard
Flat leaf parsley
A few picnic peppers
Grapefruit
Looks like I’m having a salad with a citrus vinaigrette for dinner 😋 maybe make a chimichurri?
Last of the radishes
Baby arugula
Swiss chard
Flat leaf parsley
A few picnic peppers
Grapefruit
Looks like I’m having a salad with a citrus vinaigrette for dinner 😋 maybe make a chimichurri?
Went to check on my crops and noticed this cauliflower has a really unusual coloration.
December 8, 2025 at 6:51 PM
Went to check on my crops and noticed this cauliflower has a really unusual coloration.
Decided to try and make myself press on nails for the first time.
This looks NOTHING like what I was going for. 😆 I get why the artist who created these charge so much now, it’s really hard. Sorry for the shaky video, I’m trying not to laugh.
This looks NOTHING like what I was going for. 😆 I get why the artist who created these charge so much now, it’s really hard. Sorry for the shaky video, I’m trying not to laugh.
December 7, 2025 at 6:17 PM
Decided to try and make myself press on nails for the first time.
This looks NOTHING like what I was going for. 😆 I get why the artist who created these charge so much now, it’s really hard. Sorry for the shaky video, I’m trying not to laugh.
This looks NOTHING like what I was going for. 😆 I get why the artist who created these charge so much now, it’s really hard. Sorry for the shaky video, I’m trying not to laugh.
I love my brother but 20lbs??
That seems like a dangerous amount of sodium and I wonder if he knows gout is a real thing 😆
That seems like a dangerous amount of sodium and I wonder if he knows gout is a real thing 😆
December 7, 2025 at 3:36 PM
I love my brother but 20lbs??
That seems like a dangerous amount of sodium and I wonder if he knows gout is a real thing 😆
That seems like a dangerous amount of sodium and I wonder if he knows gout is a real thing 😆
Good morning on this crisp fall day
December 6, 2025 at 5:04 PM
Good morning on this crisp fall day
This happens every year 😆
I get requests for my Christmas List and I have to explain what’s on it like search engines don’t exist.
This year it’s “Pal Tiya Premium”, seriously, just copy and paste it into whatever search engine you like Auntie Jan and I guarantee you’ll find it.
I get requests for my Christmas List and I have to explain what’s on it like search engines don’t exist.
This year it’s “Pal Tiya Premium”, seriously, just copy and paste it into whatever search engine you like Auntie Jan and I guarantee you’ll find it.
a man and a woman are standing next to each other in a hospital corridor .
ALT: a man and a woman are standing next to each other in a hospital corridor .
media.tenor.com
December 6, 2025 at 4:17 AM
This happens every year 😆
I get requests for my Christmas List and I have to explain what’s on it like search engines don’t exist.
This year it’s “Pal Tiya Premium”, seriously, just copy and paste it into whatever search engine you like Auntie Jan and I guarantee you’ll find it.
I get requests for my Christmas List and I have to explain what’s on it like search engines don’t exist.
This year it’s “Pal Tiya Premium”, seriously, just copy and paste it into whatever search engine you like Auntie Jan and I guarantee you’ll find it.
I love technology sometimes… mostly when I want to use my smoker but I don’t want to sit outside in freezing weather tending wood/coals.
December 5, 2025 at 12:49 AM
I love technology sometimes… mostly when I want to use my smoker but I don’t want to sit outside in freezing weather tending wood/coals.
Woke up with “Treguna Mekoides and Tracorum Satis Dee” in my head for no good reason so I did a deep dive into Bedknobs and Broomsticks, also for no good reason and wtf is this movie? 😂
Vegan Witch & 3 kids ride a bed to blackmail the head of a scam MLM for a spell to use underwear to fight Nazis?
Vegan Witch & 3 kids ride a bed to blackmail the head of a scam MLM for a spell to use underwear to fight Nazis?
a young boy is holding a knob and asking what 's that got to do with my knob ..
ALT: a young boy is holding a knob and asking what 's that got to do with my knob ..
media.tenor.com
December 4, 2025 at 4:11 PM
Woke up with “Treguna Mekoides and Tracorum Satis Dee” in my head for no good reason so I did a deep dive into Bedknobs and Broomsticks, also for no good reason and wtf is this movie? 😂
Vegan Witch & 3 kids ride a bed to blackmail the head of a scam MLM for a spell to use underwear to fight Nazis?
Vegan Witch & 3 kids ride a bed to blackmail the head of a scam MLM for a spell to use underwear to fight Nazis?
It’s cold and dreary outside so I’m going to stay in restock the tea hoard and finish my puzzle.
December 3, 2025 at 7:18 PM
It’s cold and dreary outside so I’m going to stay in restock the tea hoard and finish my puzzle.
Me: Hey bro grab the ratchet straps from my trunk
Bro: Yup
…
Bro: Hey why do you have a grappling hook in your trunk?
Me: In case of emergencies
Bro: What kind of emergency?
Me: (shrug)
Bro: What kind of emergency?! What could you possibly need a freaking grappling hook for?!
Me: You never know man
Bro: Yup
…
Bro: Hey why do you have a grappling hook in your trunk?
Me: In case of emergencies
Bro: What kind of emergency?
Me: (shrug)
Bro: What kind of emergency?! What could you possibly need a freaking grappling hook for?!
Me: You never know man
a man wearing glasses and a suit says i like to be prepared
ALT: a man wearing glasses and a suit says i like to be prepared
media.tenor.com
December 2, 2025 at 10:28 PM
Me: Hey bro grab the ratchet straps from my trunk
Bro: Yup
…
Bro: Hey why do you have a grappling hook in your trunk?
Me: In case of emergencies
Bro: What kind of emergency?
Me: (shrug)
Bro: What kind of emergency?! What could you possibly need a freaking grappling hook for?!
Me: You never know man
Bro: Yup
…
Bro: Hey why do you have a grappling hook in your trunk?
Me: In case of emergencies
Bro: What kind of emergency?
Me: (shrug)
Bro: What kind of emergency?! What could you possibly need a freaking grappling hook for?!
Me: You never know man
Pulled out the trek onesie … cuz I’m cool??
December 1, 2025 at 4:29 AM
Pulled out the trek onesie … cuz I’m cool??
Sent my friend some photos of an emergency greenhouse I made mostly with stuff I had laying around but before I could explain what it was she replied “Why are you making a homeless shelter for your plants?”
My homeless shelter for plants is now open for business I guess 🤦♀️
My homeless shelter for plants is now open for business I guess 🤦♀️
November 29, 2025 at 11:53 PM
Sent my friend some photos of an emergency greenhouse I made mostly with stuff I had laying around but before I could explain what it was she replied “Why are you making a homeless shelter for your plants?”
My homeless shelter for plants is now open for business I guess 🤦♀️
My homeless shelter for plants is now open for business I guess 🤦♀️
So my oven broke last night. It’s been an interesting day.
Thank goodness for my new smoker…probably should have read the instructions first 😬 😂
Thank goodness for my new smoker…probably should have read the instructions first 😬 😂
a cartoon dog is sitting at a table with a cup of coffee in front of a fire with the words this is fine .
ALT: a cartoon dog is sitting at a table with a cup of coffee in front of a fire with the words this is fine .
media.tenor.com
November 27, 2025 at 10:32 PM
So my oven broke last night. It’s been an interesting day.
Thank goodness for my new smoker…probably should have read the instructions first 😬 😂
Thank goodness for my new smoker…probably should have read the instructions first 😬 😂