This post feels too serious for le funny jokes so I’m filing it under atrocities

Mf said Sydney’s Weenie

Do a flip

Santa used to just take bites out of the elves. He’d pick them up off the factory line in one of his ham fists and he’d take a gargantuan chomp out of them. Then he’d just casually toss the half-eaten elf back on the line for the other workers to see.

Somehow they could not be worse at this

George Lakoff and I pushed this simple and reasonable idea years ago. When I returned to journalism, I realized the problem. Editors care more about SEO and controversy (=clicks) than about whether the headline is destroying truth. Incentive is to bait engagement at all cost.

Devilman Crybaby? Babies don’t cry, they don’t know how

Little known fact: Ohio means good morning in Japanese

At least we can safely say there will never be a gay drag queen

>sub named plunger

If you don’t come to Brazil, Brazil will come to you

They aped “finish the fight” from Halo 3

New York has fallen, Italians must perish

Humanity has decided we’re turning the internet Off

Try thinking of mononoke as ketchup and the forest gods as hamborger. Really makes you think

You can’t stop me Jenny, I’m racking up my Ritalin right now