I feel a thousand capacities spring up in me. I am arch, gay, languid, melancholy by turns. I am rooted, but I flow. —Virginia Woolf, The Waves Lately, I've been feeling a bit like I'm on summer vacation. Instead of relishing the freedom from stifling walls and bustling hallways, however, the impending summer season feels more like a monster at my back, steadily advancing and itching to pounce. I debated whether or not I would write about this here but I think it's a life event worth annotating. It's a reminder, at any rate, that misfortune bears down on us all from time to time.

Sitting outside with a glass of wine, being cute. We all have our little hells, things we must live through without a certain end. I don’t think hell is some crackling, fiery place but that time we spend crucifying ourselves over the uncontrollable whims of life.  Hell is the knife of emotion that takes hold in the heart, winding it’s way through the chest, cracking us open likemelons—draining our faith, our hope, our light. Hell is threading ourselves back together, only to be broken open again and again. But I’m not convinced hell is a destination. 

I never did write about my hiking experience at Pisgah National Forest during New Year's weekend. Nearly three months ago! I won’t ramble on about it too much, but there are some photos I took and didn’t share in my more timely Instagram post, so because this is my personal blog and I pay to be here, I felt it was worth highlighting the trip for this space. I will start by saying that this hike was way more intense and advanced than I was expecting. That is mostly because I am woefully out of shape.

I don't think I've participated in a blog linkup/questionnaire since my college/post-grad days. But I saw a blogger friend post this to her site recently and thought it would be fun to do. It's funny because I had already been thinking of ways I could branch out with my blog and this felt like a good opportunity to shake things up. Because my only categories are Reading, Writing, and Photographing, I sometimes feel restricted to of-the-moment life updates—like, I took some photos while traveling to this place last month, and this is what I've been reading lately, and here is a random poem I wrote the other day.

Hello, fellow bibliophiles! As you can see, I only read three books in the last stretch of 2024. As mentioned in a previous post, this was largely due to a change in my routine from returning to the office full-time for a new job. I probably could've read at least one more book if it hadn't been for all the doomscrolling I fell prey to at the end of the year. But life happens and despite how difficult the transition has been from working remotely, I'm trying to make the best of it for now.

ALT: a woman is using a laptop computer in a bedroom .

I wrote this poem over a year ago now—one evening after logging off from work, back when I was still working from home. It was supposed to be a blog post but very quickly it started to become somet…