The least we can do is let kids figure out who they are without getting all gross and weird about it

Giuliani Lawyer 1: Oh well.
Giuliani Lawyer 2: Yeah.
Guiliani Lawyer 1: A shame.
Guiliani Lawyer 2: I guess.
Guiliani Lawyer 1: Drink?
Giuliani Lawyer 2: At least several.

If I was alive during the old west I'd probably be a cool gunslinger and not a stinky guy who has smallpox

it’s nice to finally see someone admit what they all actually mean.

high five to everyone who did something hard this week/month/year. it's been a rough one. we all deserve a parade.

Panera is now selling a lemonade that makes you immortal. This is even worse than the lemonade that kills you, you’re doomed to watch all your loved ones age and perish. As you walk the lifeless Earth 1,000 eons from now you will regret getting a beverage with your Buffalo Chicken Ciabatta Melt