“Today’s my Friday” I say to my coworker, 30 years my senior
“Today’s my Thursday” she responds

I love to show up every day for my job, which is standing around holding the front of my tactical vest and getting told to choke to death by thousands of passers-by while 11 of my coworkers handcuff a roofer on his way to work. Every night I drive 80 minutes home, thinking about nothing at all.

No one cared about this when I was saying it live so I’m archiving it forever and forcing everyone to listen to how good of a concept this is.

You know what they say 😏

Franky one piece woulda done something like this if he was on the going merry

My beautiful children named Sprained Ankle and Broken Leg

Armadillo wiki giving sci-fi lore vibes

#StartTheSteal

The man’s spirit haunts the chair

This is how I stand while I wait for the person I’m with to finish chatting with their friend I don’t know