A Bad Man with the Master Plan (& the ladies call me Tex)
@matapacos.bsky.social
Hot Takes & VHS Tapes*
Right of Return
No Cops, No Masters
*really DVDs mostly.
Right of Return
No Cops, No Masters
*really DVDs mostly.
A joke from Head Over Heels (2001) that takes place in the setting of a night club where presumably everyone inside should be at least 21:
(Also, Google John Casablancas and Elite Modeling if you want to ruin the rest of your day.)
(Also, Google John Casablancas and Elite Modeling if you want to ruin the rest of your day.)
December 20, 2025 at 12:29 AM
A joke from Head Over Heels (2001) that takes place in the setting of a night club where presumably everyone inside should be at least 21:
(Also, Google John Casablancas and Elite Modeling if you want to ruin the rest of your day.)
(Also, Google John Casablancas and Elite Modeling if you want to ruin the rest of your day.)
Same
December 19, 2025 at 2:51 PM
Same
December 19, 2025 at 4:22 AM
December 19, 2025 at 4:21 AM
December 19, 2025 at 4:20 AM
I have older skeets where I say the exact same thing, this is just one of my more favorite versions.
December 17, 2025 at 2:32 PM
I have older skeets where I say the exact same thing, this is just one of my more favorite versions.
December 17, 2025 at 5:46 AM
Some rando Nazi piece of shit from the NYC Young Republicans Club bitchslapped one of Nick Fuentes’s Nazi bitch acolytes (who goes by the handle “womanpropaganda”) & there is a SCHISM among the chuds about this.
December 16, 2025 at 4:36 PM
Some rando Nazi piece of shit from the NYC Young Republicans Club bitchslapped one of Nick Fuentes’s Nazi bitch acolytes (who goes by the handle “womanpropaganda”) & there is a SCHISM among the chuds about this.
Me to the guy who secured the base of the statue to the platform:
December 16, 2025 at 3:46 PM
Me to the guy who secured the base of the statue to the platform:
While you JAQ-off into own mouth with your copies of “None Dare Call It Conspiracy” & “Behold a Pale Horse”
December 16, 2025 at 3:35 PM
While you JAQ-off into own mouth with your copies of “None Dare Call It Conspiracy” & “Behold a Pale Horse”
New neoliberal word salad bastardizing idpol to refer to genocide as a “single issue purity test” & advocate for incrementalism just dropped.
(I’ve also NEVER been wrong about a “leftist” who still lauds their military career as a bonafide of their character. ::cough Graham Platner cough::)
(I’ve also NEVER been wrong about a “leftist” who still lauds their military career as a bonafide of their character. ::cough Graham Platner cough::)
December 15, 2025 at 9:28 PM
New neoliberal word salad bastardizing idpol to refer to genocide as a “single issue purity test” & advocate for incrementalism just dropped.
(I’ve also NEVER been wrong about a “leftist” who still lauds their military career as a bonafide of their character. ::cough Graham Platner cough::)
(I’ve also NEVER been wrong about a “leftist” who still lauds their military career as a bonafide of their character. ::cough Graham Platner cough::)
Whatever you say KKKaren
December 14, 2025 at 1:54 PM
Whatever you say KKKaren
uNMeNTiONaBLe sLuRS!!1!
December 14, 2025 at 1:26 PM
uNMeNTiONaBLe sLuRS!!1!
I love how these dolts who are so fearful of their own mediocrity they’ll file paperwork to give themselves bullshit titles without considering any of the potential liability from their even dumber underlings & then STILL throw some Dante Hicks “I’m not even supposed to be here today”-ass tantrum.
December 13, 2025 at 12:16 PM
I love how these dolts who are so fearful of their own mediocrity they’ll file paperwork to give themselves bullshit titles without considering any of the potential liability from their even dumber underlings & then STILL throw some Dante Hicks “I’m not even supposed to be here today”-ass tantrum.
I’m sure this took place exactly as you described it.
December 12, 2025 at 8:54 PM
I’m sure this took place exactly as you described it.
December 8, 2025 at 10:27 PM
My wife* won’t abide giving me a Jersey Sky Funeral (dumping my corpse on the side of the NJ Turnpike & making the state deal with all disposal fees.)
I’ve just come around on the idea of burial because digging through old albums I found my epitaph.
*implied Borat voice
I’ve just come around on the idea of burial because digging through old albums I found my epitaph.
*implied Borat voice
December 6, 2025 at 12:55 AM
My wife* won’t abide giving me a Jersey Sky Funeral (dumping my corpse on the side of the NJ Turnpike & making the state deal with all disposal fees.)
I’ve just come around on the idea of burial because digging through old albums I found my epitaph.
*implied Borat voice
I’ve just come around on the idea of burial because digging through old albums I found my epitaph.
*implied Borat voice
Replyguys are all functionally illiterate.
December 4, 2025 at 8:32 PM
Replyguys are all functionally illiterate.
My favorite episode is “Smooshed: A Love Story” but this will always be my favorite moment from the series:
December 3, 2025 at 2:44 AM
My favorite episode is “Smooshed: A Love Story” but this will always be my favorite moment from the series:
My wife* is out with her friends watching OSU @ Michigan.
Me dropping into the group chat:
*implied Borat voice
Me dropping into the group chat:
*implied Borat voice
November 29, 2025 at 8:03 PM
My wife* is out with her friends watching OSU @ Michigan.
Me dropping into the group chat:
*implied Borat voice
Me dropping into the group chat:
*implied Borat voice
November 29, 2025 at 3:07 PM
November 28, 2025 at 1:26 PM
You ain’t fucking kidding, damn hippies.
November 23, 2025 at 7:40 PM
You ain’t fucking kidding, damn hippies.
You’re the epitome of mediocre hack. You aren’t at all intelligent or even remotely clever & you’ll never have an original thought.
November 22, 2025 at 5:11 AM
You’re the epitome of mediocre hack. You aren’t at all intelligent or even remotely clever & you’ll never have an original thought.
What do you call it?
The Aristocrats.
The Aristocrats.
November 22, 2025 at 3:16 AM
What do you call it?
The Aristocrats.
The Aristocrats.