Michael
LightNews LightNews
mpborts.bsky.social
Michael
@mpborts.bsky.social
210 followers 1.1K following 1.2K posts
Probably not social enough for social media. My opinions have never been those of my employer.
Posts Replies Media Videos
mpborts.bsky.social
Pro Football Reference isn't everything, but their HOF tracker puts Big Ben in decidedly average HOF territory. So I'm curious why you think he should go in immediately? Just SB bias?
Screenshot from Pro Football reference for Ben Roethlisberger showing that he scores 100.28 on their HOF monitor and the average QB in the HOF has a score of 103.58
February 6, 2026 at 3:34 PM
mpborts.bsky.social
Screen capture from the Epstein files of an email with the sender and recipient redacted and the subject line Kid Rock returns with "Cocky" sent in December 2001
February 6, 2026 at 2:50 PM
mpborts.bsky.social
Speaking of everyone staying safe, how will you protect our communities from one of the greatest public safety threat we face: ICE and it's lawless behavior. Will you show the courage of a 9-year old? Will you fight an agency which forces 9-year olds to worry for their friends safety?
Text of a NY Mag article which reads: "“I am Puerto Rican,” she says. “I send my kids with their passports to school. I’m having conversations with them about safety: Am I safe at school? A week ago we had an incident where there was a school bus with the STOP sign open and kids were getting on the bus and it was surrounded by ICE agents. And this is 7:20 in the morning and — just — you get that fight-or-flight response.” At first her 9-year-old was carrying her passport in her backpack; now it’s in her back pocket. “I have to prepare them for it if they get stopped,” she says. “I said, Do not engage. This is not the time to be cussing at anyone. But she said, Mom, if I create enough noise, my friends can get away.”"
January 23, 2026 at 5:38 PM
mpborts.bsky.social
January 15, 2026 at 3:47 PM
mpborts.bsky.social
If they can murder us in the streets, what can't they do? If Trump refuses to fire the officials who created this mess, then what option is there besides impeachment?
Screenshot of an excerpt from a Minnesota Public Radio Story. The Text is: Emily Heller lives near 33rd and Portland and said she woke up to a commotion outside her home. She said she saw a car blocking traffic on Portland Avenue that appeared to be part of a protest against federal law enforcement operations. Heller said she heard ICE agents telling the driver, a woman, to “get out of here.” “She was trying to turn around, and the ICE agent was in front of her car, and he pulled out a gun and put it right in — like, his midriff was on her bumper — and he reached across the hood of the car and shot her in the face like three, four times,” Heller said. Heller said it appeared the woman then accelerated and traveled about 100 feet before striking a utility pole and some other vehicles. She could be seen slumped over inside her car.
January 7, 2026 at 6:09 PM
mpborts.bsky.social
Somehow, this is not an AI hallucination. Why would an opinion columnist this bad keep their job? Because the person signing her checks wants her to influence public opinion. The Liberal media is a myth
Screenshot of a search query in google: "Maureen Dowd resign in disgrace" Google's generally worthless AI overview correctly says there is no indication Dowd has resigned in disgrace and she's still with the NYT
January 5, 2026 at 1:18 PM
mpborts.bsky.social
Could be worse. Unless the world is trying to tell me that "it" will happen soon -- then it could be great!
Screenshot saying my 2026 word is "mortifying"
January 1, 2026 at 4:54 PM
mpborts.bsky.social
Deleted this because I didn't have the route right, but it really doesn't seem like it should have been possible to complete this from this frame:
The Chicago Bears had an open rush lane on the right side between the Guard and Tackle. Musgrave on the left side of the formation will eventually catch the ball about 10 yards downfield on the right side, seemingly defying physics.
December 11, 2025 at 3:03 PM
mpborts.bsky.social
www.govtrack.us/congress/bil...
Screenshot showing historical stats from previous congresses. Notably, the current one has enacted only 46 pieces of legislation, a historical low.
December 5, 2025 at 2:30 PM
mpborts.bsky.social
I saved this from your cereal reviews for when you have bad movie takes. This one's not *so* bad, but when else will I have an excuse?
Jamelle Boiue looks down at a bowl of (bad) cereal in a still image from a video. At the bottom, the captions from the video read "(dog whines off screen. Presumably in mourning.)"
November 24, 2025 at 8:37 PM
mpborts.bsky.social
I'm so sorry, but the only thing I could think about after Maggie introduced her was this:

"Hi! I'm Troy McClure! You might remember me from such websites as BlueSky!"
Picture of Mina Kimes in the style of the Simpsons as used on the Simpsons NFL broadcast in 2024
October 1, 2025 at 5:52 PM
mpborts.bsky.social
I'm as unsatisfied with a tie as anyone, but between this stat and Jordan Love's play this season, once this team gets out of it's own way things should really get fun.
Graph charting QB performance with completion percentage above expected (CPOE) as the X axis from -10 to positive 10 and Expected points added (EPA) per play as the Y axis from -0.3 to positive 0.3. Jordan Love's performance this season is in the upper right hand corner indicating that he playing at a very high level.
September 29, 2025 at 1:57 PM
mpborts.bsky.social
I will probably go my whole life without getting to issue a sic burn like this.
The Revocation Press Release stated that, “[o]n April 16, 2025, Secretary Noem demanded Harvard provide information about the criminality and misconduct of foreign students on its campus.” Id. And it asserted that “Harvard University brazenly refused to provide the required information requested and ignored a follow up request from the Department’s Office of General Council. [sic] Secretary Noem is following through on her promise to protect students and prohibit terrorist sympathizers from receiving benefits from the U.S. government.”
May 23, 2025 at 4:50 PM
mpborts.bsky.social
Maybe Harvard's many professional lawyers would have written back to Kristi if the message had been sent from the Office of General Counsel instead.
An except from the DHS announcement with "General Council" highlighted. The full passage reads "Harvard University brazenly refused to provide the required information requested and ignored a follow up request from the Department’s Office of General Council. Secretary Noem is following through on her promise to protect students and prohibit terrorist sympathizers from receiving benefits from the U.S. government."
May 22, 2025 at 7:13 PM
mpborts.bsky.social
@minakimes.bsky.social on today's @pablotorrefindsout.bsky.social vs Mina Kimes later today on Love is Kimes.
Screenshot from a CSPAN segment featuring then-Fortune Magazine writer Mina Kimes with a somber expression, dark clothing, and a bit of an emo-look Mina Kimes holding a gold wine glass up for a toast with a cheerful smile while recording a recent episode of Love is Kimes.
March 7, 2025 at 12:12 PM
mpborts.bsky.social
As Donald Trump gladhands, a person slightly behind him to the right of the screenshot silently holds a sign that reads "This is NOT normal"
March 5, 2025 at 11:27 AM
mpborts.bsky.social
A lawsuit which includes this nigh-incomprehensible paragraph:
Text from Drake's Lawsuit alleging: "Furthering the Recording's refrain that Drake is "not like us," the Recording alludes to Drake's Jewish Heritage, saying that Drake is "not a colleague" but "a fuckin' colonizer."
January 15, 2025 at 7:30 PM
mpborts.bsky.social
@lucyrohden.bsky.social watching college QBs -- especially at Iowa:
January 9, 2025 at 2:57 PM
mpborts.bsky.social
If you see this, I invite you to post a picture from your device with no context
A normally white American Eskimo dog looks up attentively while on a deck. His fur is stained green from having recently rolled in freshly cut grass as though it had been snow. He knows no better, for he is a dog.
November 15, 2024 at 3:30 PM
mpborts.bsky.social
Iowa City's I voted stickers are excellent:
October 28, 2024 at 5:21 PM