i love line dancing. it combines my two favorite activities: dancing, and following some goddamn RULES

being an auditor is such a good job for me specifically. memorizing niche policy sections. nitpicking minute details. chucking darkly and telling someone who hates me “looks like this was built for 5.6.1.1.2 specs but we’ve moved on to IA-5(a). whole new naming convention”

please don’t let It happen during my fantasy football draft tomorrow

thank you for guiding our DC weekend lunch choices @lauren.rotatingsandwiches.com
(not pictured: arepa zone)

impossible to explain the level of contempt I feel for people who earnestly post things like this

for the amount of discourse I see about alt text I have to assume bluesky has 50 million visually impaired users

@calfire.bsky.social your AI is an embarrassing and dangerous waste of resources. yuck.

I manifested this

Barkley: Now, Magritte. I don't like him,

Shaq <wheezing>: is it a pipe or not Chuck

@dorismatsui.bsky.social Hey Doris, constituent here—what steps are you taking to address the illegal actions of Elon Musk and DOGE?

if I had a time machine I would go forward 20 years to hear young people talk shit about how bad everyone’s lip fillers used to look. just for my own edification.

last night I dreamt about a horrible little man and in the dream I thought “this must be real, my mind couldn’t possibly invent a little man so horrible”

I miss the middle aged guy that would come to my job and bring me NFL films dvds to watch when I was 20. he probably wanted to wear my skin but no one else was teaching me about vince lombardi back then

my family has cheerfully agreed with my sister’s request to update tdap vaccines before her baby is born and given that all of them are such jackasses about flu shots and the covid vaccine I’m having a real hard time not being the world’s pettiest bitch right now

incredibly mad that someone asked me which version of Linux I run and then made fun of me when I didn’t know. you’re a dweeb! that’s not my problem! I run whatever lets me play my little games!!

I’m not in my 30s yet so I can’t pretend to enjoy a baby shower, it’s great for you that you got all these onesies but for me? what is the hook?

a lot of pressure trying to come up with a good first Bluesky post. I’m watching notting hill on a plane. teared up less than 20 minutes in. okay have a good night thanks.