I'm being threatened with a "$1.5m lien" unless I agree to a long list of bizarre statements, including that the United Kingdom "is a UK limited company registered at 6 Sharon Court, London, N12 8NX".

When I moved to New Zealand, I was told there was a thing called a spaghetti toastie. It was, I was told, a slorp of industrial-quality canned pasta-approximate, squashed between slices of buttered white bread, toasted. I am an Italian-American & was sure I was being punked.

I was not being punked.

Headline of the hearing so far has to go to Times Higher Education!

Also revealed in Court today: Siouxsie did not receive pay raises because her performance was only regarded by her Dean as “meeting expectations”. Meanwhile she was winning medals, prizes, and became NZer of the year.

Do I need to worry about smartphone radiation?

Reader, you do not.