Nick Mortensen
@nickmortensen.com
Trying to meet the moment.
Also, author of a book called "Resist Autocratic Despair".
alt account @autocraticdespair.com
Also, author of a book called "Resist Autocratic Despair".
alt account @autocraticdespair.com
I went three phases into a handshake with Wisconsin Governor Jim Doyle in 2008 and he fully kept up. I think I could have gone at least one more phase, but it’s a half hug and I thought it’d lack decorum since he hadn’t been aware of me by reputation prior to meeting me.
Decorum is important.
Decorum is important.
December 27, 2025 at 1:24 AM
I went three phases into a handshake with Wisconsin Governor Jim Doyle in 2008 and he fully kept up. I think I could have gone at least one more phase, but it’s a half hug and I thought it’d lack decorum since he hadn’t been aware of me by reputation prior to meeting me.
Decorum is important.
Decorum is important.
There’s an inherent respect extended to the people that you give your honest thoughts to and a good many of those people have proven again & again that they don’t deserve that respect.
Never give a MAGA Enthusiast the respect of your honest thoughts ever again.
Never give a MAGA Enthusiast the respect of your honest thoughts ever again.
December 26, 2025 at 6:38 PM
There’s an inherent respect extended to the people that you give your honest thoughts to and a good many of those people have proven again & again that they don’t deserve that respect.
Never give a MAGA Enthusiast the respect of your honest thoughts ever again.
Never give a MAGA Enthusiast the respect of your honest thoughts ever again.
Do you understand yet?
ICE detain father shopping on Christmas Eve—then steal his family's groceries.
Then 3 agents divvy up his paid for food—taking what they want for themselves.
"Can I just get the wife's number to call and let her know?" woman asks.
"No, guess he should've complied," agent says.
Yakima, Washington
Then 3 agents divvy up his paid for food—taking what they want for themselves.
"Can I just get the wife's number to call and let her know?" woman asks.
"No, guess he should've complied," agent says.
Yakima, Washington
December 26, 2025 at 3:22 PM
Do you understand yet?
I agree, but only because I have been living through the results of leaving them to their own devices. I’d go so far as to say not giving up on the MAGA Enthusiasts in your life is probably the most ANTIFA thing a Patriotic American could do right now.
Yeah, no thanks.
Stop guilting people about being estranged from family members. It someone is they likely have personal reasons for being so.
Stop guilting people about being estranged from family members. It someone is they likely have personal reasons for being so.
December 25, 2025 at 7:48 PM
I agree, but only because I have been living through the results of leaving them to their own devices. I’d go so far as to say not giving up on the MAGA Enthusiasts in your life is probably the most ANTIFA thing a Patriotic American could do right now.
I’ve been running a game on my kids as to why it isn’t yet time to open presents since 6:22 a.m. Right now they are cleaning their rooms because it “doesn’t make sense to open gifts if your rooms are messy”.
December 25, 2025 at 1:59 PM
I’ve been running a game on my kids as to why it isn’t yet time to open presents since 6:22 a.m. Right now they are cleaning their rooms because it “doesn’t make sense to open gifts if your rooms are messy”.
12 year-old is moaning sick in her room. I’ve pitched delaying Christmas if she’s the same or worse tomorrow morning. Won’t be fun if she’s moaning sick in her room tomorrow morning.
December 25, 2025 at 12:51 AM
12 year-old is moaning sick in her room. I’ve pitched delaying Christmas if she’s the same or worse tomorrow morning. Won’t be fun if she’s moaning sick in her room tomorrow morning.
If America goes full Nazi, how does it alter the legacy of physical comedian Michael Richards?
I always felt like it was more of a comedic sendup of a racist standup comedian that started off as an actual racist outburst from a standup comedian.
I always felt like it was more of a comedic sendup of a racist standup comedian that started off as an actual racist outburst from a standup comedian.
December 24, 2025 at 8:14 PM
If America goes full Nazi, how does it alter the legacy of physical comedian Michael Richards?
I always felt like it was more of a comedic sendup of a racist standup comedian that started off as an actual racist outburst from a standup comedian.
I always felt like it was more of a comedic sendup of a racist standup comedian that started off as an actual racist outburst from a standup comedian.
Few things more deeply satisfying as informing a MAGA Enthusiast that they are violating US Flag Code because 90% of the time you are informing them that US Flag Code exists.
1 page document. Memorize it 5 minutes and wield it as weaponry to take back the USA.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_...
1 page document. Memorize it 5 minutes and wield it as weaponry to take back the USA.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_...
United States Flag Code - Wikipedia
en.wikipedia.org
December 23, 2025 at 7:50 PM
Few things more deeply satisfying as informing a MAGA Enthusiast that they are violating US Flag Code because 90% of the time you are informing them that US Flag Code exists.
1 page document. Memorize it 5 minutes and wield it as weaponry to take back the USA.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_...
1 page document. Memorize it 5 minutes and wield it as weaponry to take back the USA.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_...
Going to be a real banner day for many of us if this whole Trump/Epstein scandal is blown wide open by someone because they know how to search using Regular Expressions.
December 23, 2025 at 6:41 PM
Going to be a real banner day for many of us if this whole Trump/Epstein scandal is blown wide open by someone because they know how to search using Regular Expressions.
If Graham Platner actually was who he claims to be, he’d not likely have the build of a 12 year-old boy. No longshoreman would have weak shoulders unless he was new on the job.
I said it.
I said it.
December 23, 2025 at 2:59 AM
If Graham Platner actually was who he claims to be, he’d not likely have the build of a 12 year-old boy. No longshoreman would have weak shoulders unless he was new on the job.
I said it.
I said it.
Are there any people (mid/low tier standup comics with a podcast) that come off cool to young people that are putting out a consistent and overt "White Nationalism is Dickhead." message?
Serious question.
Please re-skeet for visibility
Serious question.
Please re-skeet for visibility
December 22, 2025 at 6:57 PM
Are there any people (mid/low tier standup comics with a podcast) that come off cool to young people that are putting out a consistent and overt "White Nationalism is Dickhead." message?
Serious question.
Please re-skeet for visibility
Serious question.
Please re-skeet for visibility
The future of this country is in most of us buying this specific candidate's line of bullshit, electing him president in 2028, & hoping he isn't a megalomaniac.
Fantastic line of bullshit, to be sure. It's a precarious spot when you are turning to Holy Rollers & hoping they are the real deal.
Fantastic line of bullshit, to be sure. It's a precarious spot when you are turning to Holy Rollers & hoping they are the real deal.
James Talarico: The Bible doesn't mention abortion or gay marriage, but it goes on and on about forgiving debt, liberating the poor, and healing the sick. The closest thing we have to the kingdom of heaven is a multiracial, multicultural democracy where power is truly shared among all people
December 22, 2025 at 3:20 PM
The future of this country is in most of us buying this specific candidate's line of bullshit, electing him president in 2028, & hoping he isn't a megalomaniac.
Fantastic line of bullshit, to be sure. It's a precarious spot when you are turning to Holy Rollers & hoping they are the real deal.
Fantastic line of bullshit, to be sure. It's a precarious spot when you are turning to Holy Rollers & hoping they are the real deal.
Where does that one rank in all-time Packers/Bears thrillers? The Randall Cobb game may have been surpassed.
December 21, 2025 at 6:05 PM
Where does that one rank in all-time Packers/Bears thrillers? The Randall Cobb game may have been surpassed.
That was cold. Good game @harebrained.bsky.social Looks like the Bears are for real now.
December 21, 2025 at 4:31 AM
That was cold. Good game @harebrained.bsky.social Looks like the Bears are for real now.
Whoever it is that’s playing the cop in “Best Medisine” is so routinely money in comedic roles over the past decade that he should be a household name. He’s the right role away from that.
December 20, 2025 at 11:40 PM
Whoever it is that’s playing the cop in “Best Medisine” is so routinely money in comedic roles over the past decade that he should be a household name. He’s the right role away from that.
Contemplating running for US Congress with my only platform being that I will split half of my earnings on stock trading with non-public info with the taxpayers in my district & announcing my trades in real-time on the Jones Outdoor digital billboard network in NE Wisconsin.
December 20, 2025 at 4:27 PM
Contemplating running for US Congress with my only platform being that I will split half of my earnings on stock trading with non-public info with the taxpayers in my district & announcing my trades in real-time on the Jones Outdoor digital billboard network in NE Wisconsin.
My 8-year-old boy was just doing the “Covetous Jew” dance. Obviously he had no idea that was what he was doing and barely has any concept of Antisemitism at all, much less why that movement would qualify.
My prediction that “6-7” would be re-mixed into “14” or “88” or both grows ever less absurd.
My prediction that “6-7” would be re-mixed into “14” or “88” or both grows ever less absurd.
December 19, 2025 at 10:14 PM
My 8-year-old boy was just doing the “Covetous Jew” dance. Obviously he had no idea that was what he was doing and barely has any concept of Antisemitism at all, much less why that movement would qualify.
My prediction that “6-7” would be re-mixed into “14” or “88” or both grows ever less absurd.
My prediction that “6-7” would be re-mixed into “14” or “88” or both grows ever less absurd.
There is nothing more fun right now than cataloging the shifts in people's facial expressions as I try to convince them that they have to watch "The Chair Company" by describing the plot of the show to them. Really shoots the gamut of emotions from intrigued to disgusted and back again.
December 19, 2025 at 7:36 PM
There is nothing more fun right now than cataloging the shifts in people's facial expressions as I try to convince them that they have to watch "The Chair Company" by describing the plot of the show to them. Really shoots the gamut of emotions from intrigued to disgusted and back again.
Every time you see one of those "If it happens" or "when it happens" pieces, I shudder.
If we're not overly circumspect on the day he dies, they are going to transfer loyalty to JD Vance purely out of spite.
Is it worth at least 6 more years to dunk on the dude the instant it happens?
If we're not overly circumspect on the day he dies, they are going to transfer loyalty to JD Vance purely out of spite.
Is it worth at least 6 more years to dunk on the dude the instant it happens?
December 19, 2025 at 7:02 PM
Every time you see one of those "If it happens" or "when it happens" pieces, I shudder.
If we're not overly circumspect on the day he dies, they are going to transfer loyalty to JD Vance purely out of spite.
Is it worth at least 6 more years to dunk on the dude the instant it happens?
If we're not overly circumspect on the day he dies, they are going to transfer loyalty to JD Vance purely out of spite.
Is it worth at least 6 more years to dunk on the dude the instant it happens?
There are moments I hope he doesn't die and keeps decaying in office long past the point he's reached in his descent into dementia.
I want us to have to see what we've done long after we can no longer bear to look at it. To have to watch it long past the point of where it is sad.
I want us to have to see what we've done long after we can no longer bear to look at it. To have to watch it long past the point of where it is sad.
December 19, 2025 at 5:59 PM
There are moments I hope he doesn't die and keeps decaying in office long past the point he's reached in his descent into dementia.
I want us to have to see what we've done long after we can no longer bear to look at it. To have to watch it long past the point of where it is sad.
I want us to have to see what we've done long after we can no longer bear to look at it. To have to watch it long past the point of where it is sad.
Stafford is too old to be having JV Hockey hair in his bio photo. That’s a haircut for someone on a rookie deal.
(Edited 19:55 via @skeetsapp.com)
(Edited 19:55 via @skeetsapp.com)
December 19, 2025 at 1:56 AM
Stafford is too old to be having JV Hockey hair in his bio photo. That’s a haircut for someone on a rookie deal.
(Edited 19:55 via @skeetsapp.com)
(Edited 19:55 via @skeetsapp.com)
December 18, 2025 at 7:02 PM
I have a sizable bet with a friend that before this all ends, Trump will address the nation wearing full-Military attire.
Last night would've been the moment.
Last night would've been the moment.
December 18, 2025 at 6:11 PM
I have a sizable bet with a friend that before this all ends, Trump will address the nation wearing full-Military attire.
Last night would've been the moment.
Last night would've been the moment.
A wholesome comversation with his pedophile friend. www.nytimes.com/2025/12/18/u...
December 18, 2025 at 5:44 PM
QAnon resurrected: "Nothing can stop what is coming!"
Me: "Just for my own enlightenment —what have you tried so far?"
Me: "Just for my own enlightenment —what have you tried so far?"
December 18, 2025 at 5:00 PM
QAnon resurrected: "Nothing can stop what is coming!"
Me: "Just for my own enlightenment —what have you tried so far?"
Me: "Just for my own enlightenment —what have you tried so far?"