you cant even cackle & twirl your moustache anymore without people thinking you tied a woman to railroad tracks, due to the media nowadays

[lawyer commercial voice]
has your grandma been run over by a reindeer?

your tinctures are lame as hell dude. don’t bring your cart by my hovel again

As a previous Barnes & Noble Bookseller, please don't do this. I've had to waste so much time days in a row turning the books back.