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oldpines.wtf
Pines
@oldpines.wtf
45 | he/they | pan
Just a married genderquizzical tree with a transmasc sapling in college, living on the high plains east of Albuquerque, New Mexico. Once a writer, sometimes a puma, always a tree. Paganish.
Pinned
I’ve obviously been pretty absent from this account lately. It’s pretty shitty to bounce in with a request for help, but an explanation will follow.

To lead off, here are a couple of places you can throw your hard-earned dollars at a struggling poom.

cash.app/$oldpines
and
ko-fi.com/oldpines

AI, the Spielberg-Kubrick circle jerk. Absolute garbage.
Never mind movies you’ve watched multiple times, name a movie you’ve watched once and would never watch again.
December 10, 2025 at 9:14 PM
Never had it happen with my head hair, when it was there, but the hairs of my beard just love tying themselves in little knots.
December 10, 2025 at 5:25 PM
I was asked to join a team working on something called a job hazard analysis. What do I need to know?

First, congrats! The fact that you are being involved means that your skills and experience are being acknowledged. Now, a job hazard analysis is an important part of a safety and health program.…
I was asked to join a team working on something called a job hazard analysis. What do I need to know?
First, congrats! The fact that you are being involved means that your skills and experience are being acknowledged. Now, a job hazard analysis is an important part of a safety and health program. Not every employer performs them. They aren't explicitly mandated by OSHA in the U.S.A., but it's really hard to know what hazards your workers are exposed to without doing JHAs.
ask.oldpines.wtf
December 8, 2025 at 6:35 PM
My shop lead says not to trust the safety guy because he’ll use incident investigation to get people fired. Is that true?

Sounds like your lead has been burned before, but this question gets at the heart of a misconception about what occupational safety is. I'll start with this: the role of an…
My shop lead says not to trust the safety guy because he’ll use incident investigation to get people fired. Is that true?
Sounds like your lead has been burned before, but this question gets at the heart of a misconception about what occupational safety is. I'll start with this: the role of an occupational safety professional is to support and protect workers. We aren't Human Resources or management, even if the "safety guy" is titled "Safety Manager". The purpose of the role is to identify hazards and prevent workers from being exposed to them.
ask.oldpines.wtf
December 8, 2025 at 5:21 PM
Oh, and please share this around. Yeah, I wanna see awesome shit from people who follow me, but I also wanna see what other folks are vibing on.
For my birthday this year, I’d like to see things that make you happy.

Show me a project or a piece of art/music/writing you’re proud of, a photo you took that you really love, a photo of you that made you feel good, a funny story…just anything joyfully celebrating you.

SFW/NSFW…doesn’t matter.
December 8, 2025 at 3:51 PM
For my birthday this year, I’d like to see things that make you happy.

Show me a project or a piece of art/music/writing you’re proud of, a photo you took that you really love, a photo of you that made you feel good, a funny story…just anything joyfully celebrating you.

SFW/NSFW…doesn’t matter.
December 8, 2025 at 1:11 PM
I should be a mysterious hermit living at the farthest fringes of society, with eyes that seem to echo the howling wilderness and make all who meet me question if I count any human age.
December 8, 2025 at 12:55 PM
I’m working on a joke about Icarus, but every time I get close shit falls apart.
I have this joke about Theseus, but I’m rewriting it.
I have a joke about Procrustes that I'm trying to fit in properly.
December 8, 2025 at 3:42 AM
How powerless are you?

If you're asking about the recent power outages, they were fairly brief. They just happened off and on while the snow storm was happening. If you're talking more broadly, entirely. I am utterly without power.
How powerless are you?
If you're asking about the recent power outages, they were fairly brief. They just happened off and on while the snow storm was happening. If you're talking more broadly, entirely. I am utterly without power.
ask.oldpines.wtf
December 6, 2025 at 9:40 PM
Can’t say whether this year has gone by fast or slow. Feels like both and either and neither. Gonna be forty-five years old on Monday.

Too broke to celebrate and too exhausted to want much of a celebration to begin with.

Wishing I had taken the time to be a proper friend to…literally anyone.
December 6, 2025 at 4:36 PM
This storm could have waited five days and given me a pleasant birthday gift, but nooooo.
December 4, 2025 at 3:39 AM
Aaaaaaand power’s out
December 4, 2025 at 1:50 AM
Strongly second this! I’ve loved every winter since we moved to this part of New Mexico. We always get more snow than predicted and it stays just long enough not to be unwelcome. Back in Arkansas, we’d get ice storms like a motherfucker. This is bounds better.
December 4, 2025 at 12:28 AM
Of course when I’m sick and employed I get a story idea that would take significant time and energy to execute. My brain and its weird little lesion can fuck right off.
December 3, 2025 at 5:51 PM
Face is dripping like a high country sink tap on a January night. Sinuses feel like they’ve been used as punching bags. Chills and stomach funk.

Lovely.
December 1, 2025 at 11:44 PM
Finally home. Just finished cleaning up the bulk of the carnage wrought by the cats. In fucking agony and also feeling like I’ve got a sickness coming on. Not thrilled.
December 1, 2025 at 4:19 AM
Texts from the Sapling:
November 30, 2025 at 3:00 AM
“SUBMIT” – What are you? Dominant?

LOL! Hardly. Not submissive either, though. More of a mutual sharing of power and vulnerability kinda tree. It’s real challenging to phrase button text in this context that doesn’t sound imperative, though.
“SUBMIT” – What are you? Dominant?
LOL! Hardly. Not submissive either, though. More of a mutual sharing of power and vulnerability kinda tree. It’s real challenging to phrase button text in this context that doesn’t sound imperative, though.
ask.oldpines.wtf
November 30, 2025 at 2:12 AM
Are you a mower?

Which way shall I take this? In terms of cat sounds, I’m more of a rreh kind of cat. In terms of plant eating, I’m more of a trimmer. In terms of body hair management, I’m more of an “I give up. Why bother?”
Are you a mower?
Which way shall I take this? In terms of cat sounds, I’m more of a rreh kind of cat. In terms of plant eating, I’m more of a trimmer. In terms of body hair management, I’m more of an “I give up. Why bother?”
ask.oldpines.wtf
November 30, 2025 at 2:09 AM
Stopping in Oklahoma City for the night. Been ready to be home. For a cat and/or a tree, I sure am dog tired. Getting to the point where I don’t know how many more road trips I’ve got in me.
November 30, 2025 at 2:01 AM
Introduce yourself with five animals you’ve seen in the wild:

Coyote
Beaver
Moose
Wapiti
Pine marten
Introduce yourself with five animals you've seen in the wild:

Coyote
Otter
Steller's Jay
Raven
Dragonfly
Introduce yourself with five animals you've seen in the wild:

Great blue heron
Rock pigeon
American crow
Steller's Jay
Canada goose
November 29, 2025 at 3:57 AM
Oh no it’s good
A 10.5% barrel-aged imperial stout should do nicely to make up for being in fucking Arkansas.
November 29, 2025 at 2:40 AM
A 10.5% barrel-aged imperial stout should do nicely to make up for being in fucking Arkansas.
November 29, 2025 at 1:38 AM
Headed to Lost Forty Brewing in Little Rock so the wife has a chance to see her Arkansas friends. At least I’ll get a beer out of it.
November 29, 2025 at 12:24 AM
If you could choose:

"beeing half your current age but not healtier as currently or beeing without any infirmitys but 150% your current age?" — I've been pretty open about my infirmities. I would happily advance to 67.5 if I meant not having chronic musculoskeletal pain, chronic headaches,…
If you could choose:
"beeing half your current age but not healtier as currently or beeing without any infirmitys but 150% your current age?" — I've been pretty open about my infirmities. I would happily advance to 67.5 if I meant not having chronic musculoskeletal pain, chronic headaches, migraines, and the lesion of unknown seriousness camped out on my right upper thalamus.
ask.oldpines.wtf
November 28, 2025 at 2:57 AM