Humphrey Bogart's Hairpiece
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onychomys.bsky.social
Humphrey Bogart's Hairpiece
@onychomys.bsky.social
200 followers 270 following 3.1K posts
Follow me if you want, just know that I'm boring and dumb. Go Pokes!

📍Rochester, MN

Letterboxd account: https://boxd.it/5vIGD
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onychomys.bsky.social
My greatest culinary invention is prepped, it's the Seven B's. Beets, brussel sprouts, bacon, brown sugar, butter, black pepper, and bourbon.

(and salt but that doesn't fit the theme)
A close photo of the dish described above.
November 27, 2025 at 5:12 PM
onychomys.bsky.social
It's nearly 10am, do you know what temperature your turkey is at?
The reading on my Bluetooth thermometer from the turkey on my smoker. Internal temp is only 46F right now, long ways to go.
November 27, 2025 at 3:57 PM
onychomys.bsky.social
For family get-togethers when you vaguely dislike your family
The sign for the "Minnesota Wines" section at my local liquor store. On the shelf behind it is the sign for "Premium Box Wines", which seems about right.
November 27, 2025 at 12:50 AM
onychomys.bsky.social
Every year I pre-game by coming to my town's oldest pizza joint (since 1963!) and having their pilgrim za for lunch on Tgiving eve. It's mashed potatoes, canned corn, fried turkey, green onion, and cheese, with a side of gravy. It's just the best.
Two slices of the pizza described in the post.
November 26, 2025 at 6:34 PM
onychomys.bsky.social
It's probably been a minute since you thought about the 1937 Cord 812S, the most beautiful car ever made.
A hardtop version in a wonderful dark blue. The car is a perfect mix of swoopy bits and angled parts. It's on whitewall tires. The convertible in yellow. The top is down and it's been photographed straight from the side. It's the most perfect shape any car has ever been. A lighter yellow closeup of the front end, this was probably taken to show the pop-up headlights, the first ones ever on any car. They competed with Rolls and Bentley and whatnot, and so every fancy bit helped. A 3/4th shot from the front of a convertible in a medium-dark read. The headlights are up.
November 25, 2025 at 1:40 AM
onychomys.bsky.social
My wife grew these mushrooms from scratch! Like, she got some logs and drilled holes and innoculated them and all that. Pretty cool.
The frills of an oyster mushroom on a cutting board A white blob of an oyster mushroom on a cutting board. They're next to a chef's knife for scale, and are about three inches across.
November 24, 2025 at 12:18 AM
onychomys.bsky.social
did I fall into a wormhole and wake up in 2009

did the guy who makes legos fall into a wormhole in 2009 and wake up today
A Lego set on the shelf at target. It's $219.99 and is Edwin's house from Twilight. It also includes a werewolf in wolf form and a red truck.
November 20, 2025 at 1:02 AM
onychomys.bsky.social
JFC, Delta, this bullshit is why people hate flying.
Going from Minneapolis to Billings at Christmas, you can get "Main Basic" for $439 or "Main Classic" for SIXTY DOLLARS more. And since only that level allows you to cancel and it's a winter flight, you basically have no choice but to take that.
November 10, 2025 at 8:19 PM
onychomys.bsky.social
Heart mountain in the background, some white flowers in the fore. Heart Mountain is many dozens of miles from the nearest other mountain. Heart Mountain in the winter
November 4, 2025 at 2:46 AM
onychomys.bsky.social
oh hey i wonder what the greatest symbol of our nation might have to say about that
A screenshot of the text of The New Colossus, by Emma Lazarus. Text of the poem is as follows, although you probably already know it: The New Colossus By Emma Lazarus Not like the brazen giant of Greek fame, With conquering limbs astride from land to land; Here at our sea-washed, sunset gates shall stand A mighty woman with a torch, whose flame Is the imprisoned lightning, and her name Mother of Exiles. From her beacon-hand Glows world-wide welcome; her mild eyes command The air-bridged harbor that twin cities frame. “Keep, ancient lands, your storied pomp!” cries she With silent lips. “Give me your tired, your poor, Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, The wretched refuse of your teeming shore. Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me, I lift my lamp beside the golden door!”
October 30, 2025 at 9:30 PM
onychomys.bsky.social
If you see this, quote with a vampire that isn't Dracula
This is Zoltan, Hound Of Dracula, from the movie of the same name. He's a Doberman mix of some sort. Here he's growling and showing his fangs (which are larger than normal dog canines). His eyes are glowing green from eyeshine. Well, his right one is, the left isn't at the right angle to reflect whatever light he's looking at.
October 29, 2025 at 12:19 AM
onychomys.bsky.social
The comic that ends with the guy pinching the other guy's lips and saying "Shhh.... Let people enjoy things"
October 28, 2025 at 12:51 PM
onychomys.bsky.social
One fun thing about living in a town with a large number of very highly paid physicians is that sometimes somebody drives their Ferrari to the mall.
A very bright red Ferrari in the parking lot of Macy's at the Apache Mall in Rochester, MN.
October 26, 2025 at 6:04 PM
onychomys.bsky.social
It's going to freeze tonight, so I went and picked all the peppers on my back porch that I'd been waiting for ripening. I grew a spiral pepper!
A medium green (unripe) Jimmy Nardello pepper being held in my hand. If it was straight, it'd be maybe the width ofy spread fingers, but it's not straight, it's a full turn plus another quarter turn or so! Probably like 410 degrees total!
October 23, 2025 at 11:16 PM
onychomys.bsky.social
I've summit'd Iowa. 1670ft above sea level, I can barely breathe up here.
The monument at the highest point in Iowa. It's a tile mosaic of the state, basically.
October 17, 2025 at 7:09 PM
onychomys.bsky.social
Looking around at software to download videos from youtube, one of them promises it's not a virus. Seems trustworthy to me. They can't lie on the internet!
A screenshot of part of a webpage with a header of "Download the latest versions" and then under that, the text "Here you can download the latest versions of 4K Download software for your operating system. All applications are verified and do not contain viruses or malicious software."
October 13, 2025 at 10:12 PM
onychomys.bsky.social
Somebody left a kids book in our Little Free Library with an author I can only describe as "unexpected".
A section of the cover of a book called "Attack of the Snow Monster" by goddamn General Michael Flynn. Like, what?!?
October 6, 2025 at 1:56 AM
onychomys.bsky.social
I'm a life-long Rockies fan and barely care about the teams in the other league, but since I'm a patriotic American, man, it's so fun to watch the Yankees get crushed.
Scoreboard from ESPN showing the Yankees at Jays game. It's the top of the 6th with two outs and a guy on first. The Blue Jays are up 12-2.
October 5, 2025 at 10:00 PM
onychomys.bsky.social
My 6th grader has joined her middle school's DARE club. How did I raise such a square?!?
Three circular stickers. One has a smiling frog and the text "Stay Blunt - Say No Dank". One has a sunset over a lake with some pine trees and the text "Don't chase highs, chase horizons". Last one has some clouds and the text "High on life, not on weed".
October 2, 2025 at 2:40 AM
onychomys.bsky.social
Look at how big this goddamn antibiotic I have to take is. I might end up cutting them in half, it's bonkers.
A capsule of amoxicillin next to the end of a pencil. It's longer than the entire eraser +metal part that holds the eraser on! And it's thick, too!
October 2, 2025 at 1:27 AM
onychomys.bsky.social
I've found the single greatest movie poster of all time.
A movie poster for an Italian horror film called "Il Prato Macchiato Di Rosso", which had the English title "The Bloodstained Lawn". The poster features a blond woman's head and upper chest, and then her boobs are replaced by the glowing yellow eyes of what I think might be a giant version of one of those weird undersea fish that kind of look like monsters. The animal (maybe it's a snake with way too many teeth?) has its mouth open and there are a very large number of teeth, all of various sizes. It's amazing.
September 30, 2025 at 1:14 PM
onychomys.bsky.social
My wife, who is very good at her hobbies, grew this amazingly colored popcorn.
A very small ear of corn, it's maybe two inches long. But it's bright red! A wonderful, wonderful color red. I've never seen anything quite like it.
September 27, 2025 at 7:14 PM
onychomys.bsky.social
I have failed as a parent, what the heck is my 12yo even doing here
My phone identifying the song my daughter is playing as "Ice Ice Baby (as heard in the movie Step Brothers) (Re-recorded) by Vanilla Ice"
September 22, 2025 at 11:54 PM
onychomys.bsky.social
Apache Mall in Rochester, MN, has a new douchebag store.
A fucking Cybertruck in the middle of the mall. There are some Tesla salesmen around, trying desperately to convince the public that the vehicle isn't just driven by assholes.
September 14, 2025 at 7:17 PM
onychomys.bsky.social
This is Ed White on the Gemini 4 mission in 1965. I had no idea he was such a space hunk!
A photo of the side profile of an astronaut inside his capsule. He's looking to the left. He's wearing a space suit (without the helmet) and the 1960s version of the NASA logo is visible on a patch on the suit. He's next to the wall of the capsule and you can see a little bit of the window he's looking out of. Above his head is a rolled up paper that's a star chart of some sort.
September 14, 2025 at 1:14 PM