A basic, short, sweet, simple, quick, fun, and easy way of explaining it:
www.galactanet.com/oneoff/theeg...

(BTW, I whole heartedly believe in Reincarnation, so do not misjudge my compassion lvls in this topic from the attitude of any other framework, as I don't believe corporeal death is death - the body is just a temporary vessel for a shard of the eternal, one consciousness that we are all a part of.)

I've learnt the hardest ways not to be like that any more....

Sometimes you gotta let a canon event be a canon event.

And I used to be a bleeding heart, My Little Pony energy, hero/saviour complex, co-dependent type prsn full of toxic empathy/self-abandonment to the clutches of Dark Triads, trying, and not only failing to heal my mother wound, but exacerbating it drastically.

I've had very many, very uniquely, very prolonged and complexly traumatising experiences with people like this, and this is what I've learnt from it - be careful who you try to save; you never know whose karma you're interrupting.

Sometimes incurable Dark Triads and/or paedophiles want to self-delete, and you should let them - not all life is sacred - some of it is solely parasitic and offering literally nothing but torture to all who endure them.

I'm* a Top 0.005% Listener....

Wud rather stay in with me central heating, Deliveroo, and plug sockets and watch a concert on YouTube than go to one, in most cases.

0-12 is learning basics.
13-29 is learning socialising/partying/exploration.
30s is nesting instinct.
Wud rather online window shop furniture than be somewhere loud.

Oh yeah, and the things that she is anti and pro abt where I'm the opposite are in ways that gaslight and confidently incorrectly patronise my esoteric lived exps, and in things she's demonstrably woefully uneducated abt n thinks her ignorant opinion defeats my informed knowledge - it's maddening.

And then, the least important thing, but, her taste in media is quite juvenile, undiscerning, and shallow, and she lacks media literacy, and I find that intellectually dehydrating and prefer more thoughtful and analytical friends - it feels like trying to be friends with a teen, and I don't like it.

Once I'm shot of her (or, if she miraculously speedruns self-improvement to the point of becoming a good friend, which is a hope, but far unlikely), I swear I'm never befriending sb that I feel sorry for ever again - I've been thru a worse ver before, dislike this one, and I don't fkng want another.

My plan is to be her friend until she's got a different friend, or does end up in an asylum.

Because I don't know what else to do - she'll self-harm, perhaps to the point of suicide if I dump her - I have been doing my best to keep her at arm's length w'out having her realise that I don't like her.

I've tried to gently prompt realisation abt why her behaviour pushes others away and why those others are the victim in that situation more than she is, and she's not emotionally intelligent enough to catch on and would throw a massive fucking tantie if I was ever super direct abt it so I can't be.