Patented Phil
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patentedphil.bsky.social
Patented Phil
@patentedphil.bsky.social
96 followers 75 following 290 posts
the opposite of a "social media influencer" • aka carnageasada • doing ui/ux stuff at bungie • illustrations are here • no ai learning / unauthorized use / unauthorized reproduction please

http://patentedphil.com/
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patentedphil.bsky.social
You’re a Hazy if you Do: Hazy IPA
// Beer Can Design
#hazyipa #ipa #beer #beercanart #craftbeer #art #illustration #artsky
Mockup of a beer can with the beer design: A blue creature looks like Val Kilmer from Tombstone surrounded by daisies. A blue creature looks like Val Kilmer from Tombstone surrounded by daisies.
December 8, 2025 at 4:30 AM
patentedphil.bsky.social
Cuttlefish
// Greeting Card
#cardart #carddesign #art #illustration #artsky
Cuttlefish // Greeting Card As cephalopods go, cuttlefish might be the most adorable.
December 2, 2025 at 5:51 AM
patentedphil.bsky.social
Swaltering Springs Red Turtles
#CCBurlywood #colour_collective #color_collective
#kidlitart #art #illustration #artsky
Swaltering Springs Red Turtles The Swaltering Springs Red Turtles had never made the Sope Tossing championships before and the young mallardworms were determined to win. Coach Wabkens had the team out on the sand fields early every morning to practice their passing technique.
November 30, 2025 at 8:41 PM
patentedphil.bsky.social
Before Social Media
#CCPersimmon #colour_collective #color_collective
#kidlitart #art #illustration #artsky
"Gran Grans... What did you do before social media?" asked Jombey. "Well, Jombs," said Gran Gringle proudly, "We used to just yell what we were having for dinner out the kitchen window to whomever was nearby."
November 30, 2025 at 8:14 PM
patentedphil.bsky.social
Always two, there are. A master and an apprentice. #BobRoss #Sketching
November 27, 2025 at 8:22 PM
patentedphil.bsky.social
Growing Pains
#comic #art #illustration #artsky
Growing Pains Sorry you’re having a shitty week… Yeah… sorry you’re having a shitty year… Yeah… it hasn’t been great… But as long as we’ve got each other… …We’ve got the world spinning right in our hands… Groan… I thought you were going to say something profound and instead… I quoted the theme song to Growing Pains? Yes. Can’t it be both? the lyrics to an 80s sitcom AND profound?
November 25, 2025 at 8:53 PM
patentedphil.bsky.social
Some sketches from my sketchbook. I promise I’m not completely insane.
#sketchbook #ink
November 21, 2025 at 4:44 AM
patentedphil.bsky.social
Wailing Peabeetles
// Out of Context Children’s Book Pages
#CCPeacock #colour_collective #color_collective
#kidlitart #art #illustration #artsky
Wailing Peabeetles Noddlergrass, New Zealand Wailing Peabeetles were often found loudly vocalizing along the banks of the Alderhat River. They could be heard for miles complaining about local politics or exchanging successful recipes they had found online.
November 21, 2025 at 1:50 AM
patentedphil.bsky.social
November 12, 2025 at 6:00 AM
patentedphil.bsky.social
Your Mom
#yourmom #comic #art #illustration #artsky
Patient: Well, Doc, how bad is it? Doctor: It's not good, Dalfetti. You have an advanced case of Materua Iocus... Patient: YOUR MOM has a case of Materua Iocus! Doctor: *groan* ... which explains your inability to control YOUR MOM jokes.
November 12, 2025 at 5:33 AM
patentedphil.bsky.social
Spobbles’ Gift
#comic #art #illustration #artsky
Spobbles’ Gift Person using their mobile device walks their pet, Spobbles, down the street. They share a message: "Spobbles left me a 'gift' in my shoe this morning. LOL" to social media. Spobbles thinks: "Can't even stop looking at their device for a few minutes to walk me..." "... I'm totally going to shit in their shoe again tomorrow."
November 6, 2025 at 4:44 AM
patentedphil.bsky.social
Nacho Wax Ponds State Park
// Out of Context Children’s Book Pages
#CCPickleGreen #colour_collective #color_collective
#kidlitart #art #illustration #artsky
Nacho Wax Ponds State Park // Out of Context Children’s Book Pages Guladen’s favorite meditation spot had become too popular after that influencer, Trald, posted selfies of their visit to Nacho Wax Ponds State Park.
October 29, 2025 at 4:32 AM
patentedphil.bsky.social
Sketching & World Series Extra Baseball
#art #illustration #artsky #sketch
October 28, 2025 at 5:31 AM
patentedphil.bsky.social
Chef-Inspired Recipes
#comic #art #illustration #artsky
Chef-Inspired Recipes A blue creature pets their green pet, Noodles, and says to them: The internet told me about these new "chef-inspired" meals from Beastly Feasts. Would you like those, Noodles? (Noodles perks up) Guy Fieri presents Trashcan Chunk Nachos with Liver Donkey Sauce... ... and from Bobby Flay - Calabrian Chili-Infused Turkey and Giblet Crispy Rice. (Noodles is not impressed)
October 25, 2025 at 4:19 AM
patentedphil.bsky.social
Inktober 2025: Ragged
#inktober #inktober2025 #ragged #jeans #sketch #art #illustration #artsky
Weird insect creatures emerge from ragged holes in a pair of jeans.
October 17, 2025 at 5:20 AM
Reposted by Patented Phil
matineemode.bsky.social
Take a few minutes to appreciate Drew Struzan creating the original artwork for THE PHANTOM MENACE. Truly a master at work.
October 14, 2025 at 7:12 PM
patentedphil.bsky.social
Inktober 2025: Drink
#inktober #inktober2025 #drink #sketch #art #illustration #artsky
Goldfish drinks a pint of beer from a straw leading from their goldfish bowl to the beer glass.
October 15, 2025 at 3:42 AM
patentedphil.bsky.social
Inktober 2025: Shredded
#inktober #inktober2025 #shredded #sketch #art #illustration #artsky
An evil cheese grater monster chases a crowd of frightened cheese pieces
October 13, 2025 at 4:13 AM
patentedphil.bsky.social
Illustration is Hard Work
#comic #art #illustration #artsky
Illustration is Hard Work Being an Illustrator is the hardest job on the entire planet. You have to make so many difficult decisions. For instance… How do you depict a light bulb when they have a GOOD IDEA? Or a skull shopping for POISON at Costco? How do you design an icon that communicates SAVE to a floppy disk? Or an icon that represents SEARCH to a magnifying glass? Now that I think about it, being an Illustrator isn’t very hard at all. Firefighters exist. Forget I said anything.
October 12, 2025 at 6:56 PM
patentedphil.bsky.social
Octopus Memory
#octopus #messageinabottle #memory #comic #art #illustration #artsky
Octopus Memory An octopus reads the following message from a bottle: Good to hear back from you again. Can you believe it? I’m an octopus as well! What are the odds that our messages would find each other across this great sea. Can I ask what you look like? I’ll go first. I’m a mint green Pacfic Swaddlerhead with yellowish spots. I live on a sandy beach littered with shells and kelp by the… The octopus realizes something… It was at that moment, Murble realized their octopus memory only lasted a few days and they had been writing to themself for several months.
October 5, 2025 at 7:27 PM
patentedphil.bsky.social
This Is Not My Beautiful Stout
// Beer Can Design
#stout #beer #beercanart #craftbeer #art #illustration #artsky
A series of glasses of stout dressed up as David Byrne in his big suit outfit and the tuxedo outfit from the video "Once in a Lifetime" in the background. This image displays the illustration on a beer can. A series of glasses of stout dressed up as David Byrne in his big suit outfit and the tuxedo outfit from the video "Once in a Lifetime" in the background. This is the full illustration.
October 1, 2025 at 5:27 AM
patentedphil.bsky.social
A Hungry Power Strip
#comic #art #illustration #artsky #powerstrip #poweroutlet
A Hungry Power Strip The top three pronged power outlet speaks into their phone: Yeah.. I’d like three burritos - two medium, one spicy - two orders of tamales, four tacos, and some chips and salsa for delivery. Right.. Extra salsa, please. $37.71? That’s great. See you soon.. Thanks! Ends call The topower outlet says to a power strip attached to the bottom power outlet: You know.. our dinner orders have gone up significantly since you decided to add a power strip.
September 27, 2025 at 1:07 AM
patentedphil.bsky.social
The Singing Walber Eels
// Out of Context Children’s Book Pages
#kidlitart #art #illustration #artsky
The Singing Walber Eels // Out of Context Children’s Book Pages The melodious tones of the singing walber eels triggered a delightful luminescence in the nearby mottelbugs. Description: A 5 colorful, waterbugs light up at night as a large, purple eel like creature sings into the night perched atop a meandering plant.
September 22, 2025 at 1:10 AM
patentedphil.bsky.social
The Life Stages of a Candle
#comic #art #illustration #artsky #candle #life
The Life Stages of a Candle A tall, bright eyed candle represents Youth. A suave, happy slightly less tall candle represents College. A much more melted, half-sized, less happy candle represents Corporate Grind. A melted down pool of wax whose flame has gone out represents Retirement.
September 18, 2025 at 4:18 AM
patentedphil.bsky.social
Watched a nature show about mangroves. Ended up sketching this scene while watching Iron Chef Chen work his magic. #sketch #IronChef #mangroves
September 17, 2025 at 5:02 AM