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phoebebarton.bsky.social
Phoebe Barton 🚀🇺🇳
@phoebebarton.bsky.social
5.3K followers 420 following 19K posts
Giant queer trans sf/game writer who is NOT AMERICAN, typewriter guardian, mind poisoner. Nebula winner, Aurora winner! Assistant Editor at Escape Pod, CW '19. Hamilton, Ontario. Header by @shargrave.bsky.social. She/her. www.phoebebartonsf.com
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phoebebarton.bsky.social
"It's where it hits me that everyone here -- aside from Isamu, everyone I've seen in Chivington -- is white, and it has all the appeal of a cake made almost entirely from vanilla extract."
relientk: okay let's bake a cake (cake emoji) Poll: butter: 9% sugar: 8% eggs: 9% flour: 21% milk: 7% baking powder: 7% vanilla extract: 39% dianapocalypse: (A screenshot of the intro to Super Mario 64, except Princess Peach's has been modified to read "Dear Mario: Do NOT come to the castle. I've baked an absolute dogshit cake. Just completely fucked it up. I'm so sorry-- Peach"
February 1, 2026 at 11:56 PM
phoebebarton.bsky.social
The mission patch for Space Shuttle mission STS-107. It's in the shape of a space shuttle orbiter, with the names of the crew clockwise around the edges. The central figure is the microgravity symbol, accelerating away from a star. At the end of this mission, on February 1, 2003, the space shuttle Columbia burned up during reentry.
February 1, 2026 at 11:08 PM
phoebebarton.bsky.social
while this *could* prove that time travel is impossible, it could just as easily prove that nobody with access to time travel wants to hang out with an unpleasant dick in the Epstein files
On 28 June 2009, as a tongue-in-cheek test of his 1992 conjecture that travel into the past is effectively impossible, Hawking held a party open to all, complete with hors d'oeuvres and iced champagne, but publicised the party only after it was over so that only time-travellers would know to attend; as expected, nobody showed up to the party.[215]
February 1, 2026 at 8:36 PM
phoebebarton.bsky.social
This is who runs this account
Me at the age of 3 or so, wearing a thick jacket and pants and standing with an uncertain look in front of three GO Transit locomotives in a rail yard. I went to rail yards with my grandfather a lot. In retrospect I don't think people were supposed to be wandering around in such places, but as far as I know we never got caught.
February 1, 2026 at 5:35 PM
phoebebarton.bsky.social
he is effortlessly cozy
A black and white cat sleeping on a pink weighted blanket.
January 31, 2026 at 3:46 PM
phoebebarton.bsky.social
i hope evghenia and goatbot are doing all right on Mars
A tweet by Evghenia on mars, @OnMarsFirst: what you need for survive on mars 1) protein bar 2) tinfoil 3) spirit of adventures 4) poetry 5) bit water 6) know it you will die here 8:48 PM - Aug 13, 2014
January 31, 2026 at 3:01 PM
phoebebarton.bsky.social
behold!

implicit here is a lesson: keep writing and keep learning. in 24 years I went from this to winning an Aurora Award for Best Short Story
A Notepad window titled The Software Market on Rainier. "Ready?" "I guess so." "Yes or no." "Well, it's just...I don't know if I can do this. I mean, we're about to shut down an entire world here!" The technician pointed his arm towards the forti-plastic window, to illustrate his point. "I realize that, but you and I both know that we don't have any other options," said the technician's boss, one William Tegas. Tegas was pushing fifty standard years, but he still retained a certain boyish charm, which was especially due to his old-style thick-rimmed glasses. I've been CEO of this company for near thirty years. I built eSoft completely from scratch, and the damned Feds think they can just move in and eradicate everything we've built here." He promptly folded his hands behind his back and looked out the fortieth story window, watching the people of New Tacoma going about their business, totally oblivious to the fact that disaster was about to befall them. "Jim," he said suddenly, "do you know why I originally created the virus?" "Umm...to monopolize Rainier's software market?" "Not at all, Jim," answered Tegas. "It started about ten years ago. The New Tacoma Picayune published an article claiming that eSoft used 'unfair business practices' in its marketing techniques. Subliminal messages on TV, so they said. We vigorously denied the charges in the public forum, but of course they were all absolutely true." "But how could you do something like that? Subliminally advertising to the entire planet...it seems like cheating, to me."
January 31, 2026 at 3:37 AM
phoebebarton.bsky.social
pretty sure the only reason the star system the war games in the episode "Peak Performance" wasn't an anime reference itself is because its name shows up in dialogue

also since the war games took place around a planet named Yuri, this proves that the Enterprise-D and Hathaway are both lesbians
A map of a Starfleet Strategic Simulation Exercise, codenamed Operation Lovely Angel, for wargames fought between the USS Enterprise-D and USS Hathaway in the TNG season 2 episode "Peak Performance." It is a map of the Braslota System, Oneamisu Sector. The planets are Braslota 1, named Totoro, Braslota 3, named Kei, and Braslota 2, site of the war games, named Yuri.
January 30, 2026 at 1:19 AM
phoebebarton.bsky.social
all of the problems with 21st century Star Trek can be traced back to it no longer being made by anime nerds
From the Star Trek: The Next Generation Technical Manual, in the section about phasers. "...rapid nadion effect (RNE). Rapid nadions are short-lived subatomic partlces possessing special properties related to high-speed interactions within atomic nuclei. Among these properties is the abilitie to liberate and transfer strong nuclear forces within a particular class of superconducting crystals known as fushigi-no-umi. The crystals were so named when it appeared to researchers at Starfleet's Tokyo R&D facility that the materials being developed represented a virtual 'sea of wonder' before them." "Fushigi no Umi no Nadia" is the 1990-1991 anime series translated into English as "Nadia: The Secret of Blue Water."
January 30, 2026 at 1:09 AM
phoebebarton.bsky.social
this is the photo in question, if you're curious; I was getting images for a blog post
A Vancouver International Airport check-in kiosk in Broadway-City Hall station on the Canada Line, photographed in 2010.
January 29, 2026 at 4:51 PM
phoebebarton.bsky.social
today's realization: I can't think of Fort Knox without also thinking of this
The first two panels of Batman vs. the Intergalactic Gold Eaters, a Hostess Twinkies comic ad from 1978. The first panel is the title. The second is of an apparently unarmed security guard confronting two aliens that look kind of like walking crocodiles. Narrator: Two intergalactic creatures, who survive by eating gold, have penetrated to the innermost vault of Fort Knox. Guard: "But you don't understand. If you eat this gold, the world's economy will collapse!" Alien: "We are sorry, Earthman, but we must eat gold to survive. It is our biological energy source."
January 29, 2026 at 1:08 AM
phoebebarton.bsky.social
The space shuttle Challenger launches from Kennedy Space Centre on January 28, 1986 on the STS-51-L mission. It's rising atop a spear of flame and billowing white smoke clouds, with a flock of agitated birds in the foreground. Seventy-three seconds after this photo was taken, the shuttle would break up.
January 28, 2026 at 2:51 PM
phoebebarton.bsky.social
want to know what i'm working on? here, check out a piece of it
A Notepad window with the file name "Martian Noir, 1st Draft." The text reads: Outside the train there's nothing to see but the toxic, airless deserts of Tharsis, and you'd think that would encourage cooperation and commonwealth. I grew up knowing that Mars wanted to kill us all, and that every day we spat in its eye and kept thriving was a victory. If thriving was easy, I wouldn't have junkdiving work. Even so, somewhere up ahead there are monuments in the rusted ground that say "this is my piece of irradiated wasteland, so stay the hell out." In a reasonable world borders would've stayed on Earth, to be quarantined until they burned themselves out. I'm old enough to know there's nothing reasonable about Mars.
January 27, 2026 at 11:58 PM
phoebebarton.bsky.social
he is still a library cat
A black and white cat sitting on a fully-loaded bookshelf.
January 27, 2026 at 11:37 PM
phoebebarton.bsky.social
An advertisement of yellow text on a red background. It reads: McNaldo's I like the it™
January 27, 2026 at 1:03 AM
phoebebarton.bsky.social
one of the best parts of vintage stores is the button bins!
A corkboard loaded with buttons and enamel pins. Among them are a pre-1998 Metro Toronto Zoo button, an "Ask Me About Showcase '85" button, and a "People For Perot" button.
January 25, 2026 at 11:45 PM
phoebebarton.bsky.social
he has found ultimate comfort
A black and white cat curled up so that the top of his head is resting against his back paws, at rest stop a pink weighted blanket.
January 24, 2026 at 8:53 PM
phoebebarton.bsky.social
hey everyone, look at my cat
A black and white cat standing on the top of a staircase, separated from the camera by iron support poles. He is gazing at a stuffed toy mouse on the floor.
January 24, 2026 at 4:05 PM
phoebebarton.bsky.social
it galls me that I could have been getting photo quality like this in my youth, if only I'd had $2000 or so to drop on a camera in 1998
A photo of the watchtower of Hiroshima Castle. It's surrounded by trees, some of which are bearing red autumn leaves.
January 24, 2026 at 3:25 AM
phoebebarton.bsky.social
A 1980s style "retro wave" background, featuring a starfield in the top three-quarters and a grid in the bottom quarter. There's a long purple light along the horizon, and the image is rather purplish throughout. Against an inverted hollow triangle, text reads "ATTACK AND DETHRONE MONARCHS."
January 23, 2026 at 2:29 PM
phoebebarton.bsky.social
the truth is that Pelly annihilates Coalie even in a rigged fight
A screenshot from an Ontario Power Generation video of Pelly, OPG's short-lived uranium pellet mascot. Pelly is flexing two beefy arms with the caption "MIGHTY," flanked by lightning bolts.
January 22, 2026 at 10:35 PM
phoebebarton.bsky.social
gasp! that strumpet!
major-jamie-hill: Slutshaming women is not ok Slutshaming Alexander Hamilton is totally ok Tumblr logic klutzmer: he cheated. on his wife. forcesense: he's also been dead for several hundred years this is the funniest post ive ever read in my life divinedorothy: fave things about this post: - the idea that thousands of people are calling alexander hamilton a slut - calling any founding father a slut - the idea that people are SHAMING Alexander Hamilton for being Such A Slut he is being SHAMED for being such a naughty little tart, SPREADING HIS LEGS FOR EVERYONE IN CONGRESS - that this was probably prompted by people expression dissaproval for Alexander Hamilton cheating on his wife - that the OP thinks "slut shaming" and "isnt it gross that he cheated on his wife" are the same thing - Alexander Hamilton has been dead for 210 [years] - 210 slutty, slutty years - the way that this is presented in such a CHECKMATE SJWS way when they're talking about a founding father who cheated on his wife and has been DEAD FOR 210 YEARS - the fact that the words "Slutshaming" and "Alexander Hamilton" have been used in the same sentence - I mean just apply what we'd traditionally think of as "slut shaming" to Alexander Hamilton. - His frock coat is too tight, his breaches are so short, have you SEEN how often he powders his wig??? I heard he gave Thomas Jefferson a handy behind the stables AND that he got fingered by John Hancock - i barely know who alexander hamilton is
January 22, 2026 at 5:46 PM
phoebebarton.bsky.social
A 1980s style "retro wave" background, featuring a starfield in the top three-quarters and a grid in the bottom quarter. There's a long purple light along the horizon, and the image is rather purplish throughout. Against an inverted hollow triangle, text reads "ATTACK AND DETHRONE MONARCHS."
January 21, 2026 at 11:35 PM
phoebebarton.bsky.social
A 1980s style "retro wave" background, featuring a starfield in the top three-quarters and a grid in the bottom quarter. There's a long purple light along the horizon, and the image is rather purplish throughout. Against an inverted hollow triangle, text reads "ATTACK AND DETHRONE MONARCHS."
January 21, 2026 at 11:05 PM
phoebebarton.bsky.social
The Ancient Aliens guy.
January 21, 2026 at 10:32 PM