Constantine VII
@porphyrogenitos.bsky.social
Definitely a human person. Absolutely.
I have questions. About history. Lots and lots of questions.
Trump talks about Denmark and Greenland just now: "The fact that they landed a boat there 500 years ago doesn't mean that they own the land."
January 9, 2026 at 10:36 PM
I have questions. About history. Lots and lots of questions.
I know I’m middle-aged because I went to get in my car and was searching my left-side pockets for my phone only to look down and realize I was holding it in my right hand.
January 9, 2026 at 2:27 PM
I know I’m middle-aged because I went to get in my car and was searching my left-side pockets for my phone only to look down and realize I was holding it in my right hand.
Reposted by Constantine VII
Somewhere, a federal public defender realizes she's on call to do the President of Venezuela's initial appearance on Monday.
January 3, 2026 at 2:25 PM
Somewhere, a federal public defender realizes she's on call to do the President of Venezuela's initial appearance on Monday.
Walked past Kevin McCarthy (when he was House Majority Leader) in downtown DC. Just as he passed me he started screaming at someone on his cellphone. I jumped, almost knocking over the person walking next to me.
Right folks. Feeling rather down at the moment so bringing back an oldie
Please Quote this with your most minor celebrity interaction
Please Quote this with your most minor celebrity interaction
December 29, 2025 at 10:59 PM
Walked past Kevin McCarthy (when he was House Majority Leader) in downtown DC. Just as he passed me he started screaming at someone on his cellphone. I jumped, almost knocking over the person walking next to me.
Paint me like one of your French girls.
December 27, 2025 at 3:32 PM
Paint me like one of your French girls.
“Is someone coming over tonight?” vs. “Why aren’t you in bed yet?”
December 25, 2025 at 2:46 AM
“Is someone coming over tonight?” vs. “Why aren’t you in bed yet?”
Ah, the three universities most associated with Chicago.
December 24, 2025 at 2:04 AM
Ah, the three universities most associated with Chicago.
Good morning Chicago!
December 23, 2025 at 3:33 PM
Good morning Chicago!
PSA: Bill C-3 in Canada went into effect on December 15. If you have a grandparent or great-grandparent born in Canada, you are likely now a Canadian citizen yourself. You can apply for a citizenship certificate (retroactive to your birth) from the Canadian government:
www.canada.ca/en/immigrati...
www.canada.ca/en/immigrati...
Check if you may be a citizen - Canada.ca
“Am I Canadian?” See if you are already a citizen
www.canada.ca
December 20, 2025 at 5:38 PM
PSA: Bill C-3 in Canada went into effect on December 15. If you have a grandparent or great-grandparent born in Canada, you are likely now a Canadian citizen yourself. You can apply for a citizenship certificate (retroactive to your birth) from the Canadian government:
www.canada.ca/en/immigrati...
www.canada.ca/en/immigrati...
“Pardon me, I know I’m at Disney World, but do you know where I can find the Japanese equivalent of The Anglo-Saxon Chronicle?”
“Hang on, I got you bro.”
“Hang on, I got you bro.”
December 6, 2025 at 7:24 PM
“Pardon me, I know I’m at Disney World, but do you know where I can find the Japanese equivalent of The Anglo-Saxon Chronicle?”
“Hang on, I got you bro.”
“Hang on, I got you bro.”
As a confused American, can someone explain the difference between good January 6th terrorism and bad January 6th terrorism?
Patel on J6 arrest: "When you attack American citizens, when you attack our institutions of legislation, when you attack our nation's Capitol, you attack the very being of our way of life."
December 4, 2025 at 7:02 PM
As a confused American, can someone explain the difference between good January 6th terrorism and bad January 6th terrorism?
Reposted by Constantine VII
I found the one exception to my belief that journalists should be paid for their work
November 22, 2025 at 6:42 AM
I found the one exception to my belief that journalists should be paid for their work
Reposted by Constantine VII
When you fail a saving throw vs charisma
November 21, 2025 at 10:17 PM
When you fail a saving throw vs charisma
Andrew Cuomo’s gonna turn up in the Epstein files written in with black Sharpie and Diet Coke stains.
November 21, 2025 at 10:33 PM
Andrew Cuomo’s gonna turn up in the Epstein files written in with black Sharpie and Diet Coke stains.
Comment I made on a co-counsel’s brief this morning: “Is there a way to phrase this that makes us sound less like losers?”
November 18, 2025 at 9:40 PM
Comment I made on a co-counsel’s brief this morning: “Is there a way to phrase this that makes us sound less like losers?”
I’m both a massive Starbucks junkie and a shareholder, and I really don’t look forward to finding somewhere else to get my morning coffee for a while, but if I can give up Starbucks for the duration of the strike, the rest of you can, too.
November 13, 2025 at 1:17 PM
I’m both a massive Starbucks junkie and a shareholder, and I really don’t look forward to finding somewhere else to get my morning coffee for a while, but if I can give up Starbucks for the duration of the strike, the rest of you can, too.
Thanks AI, you’re the best. All that money is clearly worth it.
November 1, 2025 at 8:57 PM
Thanks AI, you’re the best. All that money is clearly worth it.
Pokémon cards are vastly more popular with trick-or-treaters tonight than full-size Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups. I do not understand the children of today.
October 31, 2025 at 11:17 PM
Pokémon cards are vastly more popular with trick-or-treaters tonight than full-size Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups. I do not understand the children of today.
Fall has arrived in Chicago.
October 17, 2025 at 1:27 PM
Fall has arrived in Chicago.
My son: “We learned about Barack Obama in school yesterday.”
Welp, I’m going to shrivel up and blow away now.
Welp, I’m going to shrivel up and blow away now.
October 9, 2025 at 1:13 PM
My son: “We learned about Barack Obama in school yesterday.”
Welp, I’m going to shrivel up and blow away now.
Welp, I’m going to shrivel up and blow away now.
Free campaign slogan for the next Democratic nominee: “Vance 2028: Spend the Next Eight Years Being Lectured at by a Millennial.”
October 4, 2025 at 2:46 PM
Free campaign slogan for the next Democratic nominee: “Vance 2028: Spend the Next Eight Years Being Lectured at by a Millennial.”
It’s always a good day for a heron sighting.
September 27, 2025 at 2:21 PM
It’s always a good day for a heron sighting.
Some of the authors I follow (like @scalzi.com and @diane.dianeduane.com) have been posting a lot about the upcoming Anthropic settlement. It has now been filed to the docket, and I have looked it over (I do this sort of thing for a living). I’m sure a lot of writers have a lot of questions about it
September 5, 2025 at 9:41 PM
Some of the authors I follow (like @scalzi.com and @diane.dianeduane.com) have been posting a lot about the upcoming Anthropic settlement. It has now been filed to the docket, and I have looked it over (I do this sort of thing for a living). I’m sure a lot of writers have a lot of questions about it