Mallory Langston
@primnimproper.bsky.social
Sorta-sabbitical-ing lawyer mom, former indigent parent counsel, plush robe and blanket enthusiast, Roger the alien fangirl, casually profane, bakes and builds shit.
What do I do all day? WHAT DO I DO ALL DAY? Important shit. That's what I do all day.
(Me, all day:)
(Me, all day:)
December 9, 2025 at 7:11 PM
What do I do all day? WHAT DO I DO ALL DAY? Important shit. That's what I do all day.
(Me, all day:)
(Me, all day:)
I already loathed the "ads" on news websites with their ridiculously photoshopped stock images, but HOLY SHIT, they have become exponentially stupider with the advent of AI slop. Be sure to grab your Miwaukee Stam Perpler before they sell out.
December 6, 2025 at 8:22 PM
I already loathed the "ads" on news websites with their ridiculously photoshopped stock images, but HOLY SHIT, they have become exponentially stupider with the advent of AI slop. Be sure to grab your Miwaukee Stam Perpler before they sell out.
If I weren't me, I'd want to be married to me for the cheesecake alone.
December 3, 2025 at 2:59 AM
If I weren't me, I'd want to be married to me for the cheesecake alone.
It only took 4 years for Mario to find the star power up.
November 1, 2025 at 6:19 AM
It only took 4 years for Mario to find the star power up.
I made dis. (The kid and the costume.) 😊
November 1, 2025 at 6:15 AM
I made dis. (The kid and the costume.) 😊
I'm just not one for posting online anymore, but we're all holding up well over here. Socks is unbearably handsome, but we're managing. 😊
September 30, 2025 at 12:09 AM
I'm just not one for posting online anymore, but we're all holding up well over here. Socks is unbearably handsome, but we're managing. 😊
Drop an old person that you’re going to turn into in the future.
August 7, 2025 at 5:11 PM
Drop an old person that you’re going to turn into in the future.
Important? dunno. Adorable? Yes. Tiger and Socks have been snuggling.
July 21, 2025 at 1:34 AM
Important? dunno. Adorable? Yes. Tiger and Socks have been snuggling.
Socks is thriving. ❤️
July 11, 2025 at 9:40 PM
Socks is thriving. ❤️
I don't know, but I think I just might be the luckiest human on Earth.
July 2, 2025 at 10:27 PM
I don't know, but I think I just might be the luckiest human on Earth.
They are both absolutely smitten with him. Here he is napping with Elfo.
June 20, 2025 at 5:33 PM
They are both absolutely smitten with him. Here he is napping with Elfo.
This photo of Socks is only for those who stand with trans kids and the families who love them. You will always be safe with my family and me. ❤️🏳️⚧️
June 19, 2025 at 12:21 AM
This photo of Socks is only for those who stand with trans kids and the families who love them. You will always be safe with my family and me. ❤️🏳️⚧️
Socks is still very, very, exceptionally cute. Just in case you need him.
June 10, 2025 at 12:19 AM
Socks is still very, very, exceptionally cute. Just in case you need him.
Socks went to the vet this morning, but he's too wittle for anything other than the tiniest dose of dewormer (just in case). 😊 Vet said he's not confident in determining sex right now, but I'm fairly certain there's a tiny little coin purse there. Enjoy this cuteness:
May 22, 2025 at 7:12 PM
Socks went to the vet this morning, but he's too wittle for anything other than the tiniest dose of dewormer (just in case). 😊 Vet said he's not confident in determining sex right now, but I'm fairly certain there's a tiny little coin purse there. Enjoy this cuteness:
Louise is still very good at this orphan kitten stuff.
May 21, 2025 at 11:29 PM
Louise is still very good at this orphan kitten stuff.
Ohhhhhhhhh shiiiiiiiit 😁
The guys working on our pool concrete found this in their truck, and I could not get outside fast enough to volunteer as CDS tribute.
The guys working on our pool concrete found this in their truck, and I could not get outside fast enough to volunteer as CDS tribute.
May 20, 2025 at 7:19 PM
Ohhhhhhhhh shiiiiiiiit 😁
The guys working on our pool concrete found this in their truck, and I could not get outside fast enough to volunteer as CDS tribute.
The guys working on our pool concrete found this in their truck, and I could not get outside fast enough to volunteer as CDS tribute.
Not as tiny, but still itty. My littlest boy. 😊
Happy International Elfo Day to all who observe. May your Churu flow in abundance. Elfo be with you.
Happy International Elfo Day to all who observe. May your Churu flow in abundance. Elfo be with you.
May 16, 2025 at 5:21 PM
Not as tiny, but still itty. My littlest boy. 😊
Happy International Elfo Day to all who observe. May your Churu flow in abundance. Elfo be with you.
Happy International Elfo Day to all who observe. May your Churu flow in abundance. Elfo be with you.
One year ago today, the tiniest little smudge of a baby kitten poked his head out from under some leftover metal roofing panels in my driveway. He immediately became our Elfo.
May 16, 2025 at 5:21 PM
One year ago today, the tiniest little smudge of a baby kitten poked his head out from under some leftover metal roofing panels in my driveway. He immediately became our Elfo.
Went to look out the front window and was standing there for a bit before realizing that my neighbors might be a bit unsettled by the sight of the Jason Voorhees illuminated hell spawn gazing down from the second story. Whoopsiedoodle.
May 7, 2025 at 6:12 PM
Went to look out the front window and was standing there for a bit before realizing that my neighbors might be a bit unsettled by the sight of the Jason Voorhees illuminated hell spawn gazing down from the second story. Whoopsiedoodle.
Bean needs uppies, pronto!
May 5, 2025 at 5:39 PM
Bean needs uppies, pronto!
I just love seeing dog DNA results. I'm certain that the 7.6% Siberian Husky in Louise is all the talking genes because she says the darnedest things. 😁
May 2, 2025 at 7:11 PM
I just love seeing dog DNA results. I'm certain that the 7.6% Siberian Husky in Louise is all the talking genes because she says the darnedest things. 😁
Bean makes everything better.
April 24, 2025 at 4:54 PM
Bean makes everything better.
It's not that I have a favorite--it's just that I have a Bean.
March 5, 2025 at 9:43 PM
It's not that I have a favorite--it's just that I have a Bean.
This was taken immediately after the video. 😁
February 19, 2025 at 7:30 PM
This was taken immediately after the video. 😁