Mallory Langston
@primnimproper.bsky.social
Sorta-sabbitical-ing lawyer mom, former indigent parent counsel, plush robe and blanket enthusiast, Roger the alien fangirl, casually profane, bakes and builds shit.
I already loathed the "ads" on news websites with their ridiculously photoshopped stock images, but HOLY SHIT, they have become exponentially stupider with the advent of AI slop. Be sure to grab your Miwaukee Stam Perpler before they sell out.
December 6, 2025 at 8:22 PM
I already loathed the "ads" on news websites with their ridiculously photoshopped stock images, but HOLY SHIT, they have become exponentially stupider with the advent of AI slop. Be sure to grab your Miwaukee Stam Perpler before they sell out.
Reposted by Mallory Langston
ICE raided a James Beard award winning restaurant & because the chef/owner was prepared, left emptyhanded:
December 5, 2025 at 3:24 PM
ICE raided a James Beard award winning restaurant & because the chef/owner was prepared, left emptyhanded:
Been a licensed attorney for over 11 years. Get a license fee statement from the state supreme court every December. How many more years do you think it'll take before I receive that envelope without immediately thinking, "Ohmygod, I MUST BE IN TROUBLE"???
December 4, 2025 at 9:13 PM
Been a licensed attorney for over 11 years. Get a license fee statement from the state supreme court every December. How many more years do you think it'll take before I receive that envelope without immediately thinking, "Ohmygod, I MUST BE IN TROUBLE"???
Non-non sequitur with Mallory and family...
my stepmom: "Have you put up your Christmas tree yet?"
me: "I have six cats."
my stepmom: "Have you put up your Christmas tree yet?"
me: "I have six cats."
December 3, 2025 at 6:01 AM
Non-non sequitur with Mallory and family...
my stepmom: "Have you put up your Christmas tree yet?"
me: "I have six cats."
my stepmom: "Have you put up your Christmas tree yet?"
me: "I have six cats."
Reposted by Mallory Langston
She shouldn't have to keep doing this by herself. She is supposedly a member of a political party and every single one of her *colleagues* should be BLASTING the fascist in chief. ALL OF THEM. Where is the solidarity???
Congresswoman Omar calls Trump's comments about her 'creepy' after the US president launches into an anti-Somali tirade.
Ilhan Omar denounces Donald Trump for calling Somali immigrants ‘garbage’
Congresswoman Omar calls Trump's comments about her 'creepy' after the US president launches into an anti-Somali tirade.
bit.ly
December 3, 2025 at 12:34 AM
She shouldn't have to keep doing this by herself. She is supposedly a member of a political party and every single one of her *colleagues* should be BLASTING the fascist in chief. ALL OF THEM. Where is the solidarity???
If I weren't me, I'd want to be married to me for the cheesecake alone.
December 3, 2025 at 2:59 AM
If I weren't me, I'd want to be married to me for the cheesecake alone.
Reposted by Mallory Langston
An honor and dream come true to perform alongside Yo-Yo Ma, presented by Celebrity Series at Boston Symphony Hall. 💜
🎼Ave Maria (Bach/Gounod)
🎼Ave Maria (Bach/Gounod)
November 22, 2025 at 6:29 PM
An honor and dream come true to perform alongside Yo-Yo Ma, presented by Celebrity Series at Boston Symphony Hall. 💜
🎼Ave Maria (Bach/Gounod)
🎼Ave Maria (Bach/Gounod)
Claire Danes, you've been stressing me out for 30 fucking years now, and yet, HERE I AM AGAIN.
November 20, 2025 at 2:59 AM
Claire Danes, you've been stressing me out for 30 fucking years now, and yet, HERE I AM AGAIN.
Reposted by Mallory Langston
Remember to call and urge others to call these hotlines if they see something they suspect to be related to immigration enforcement actions. In Charlotte, Carolina Migrant Network at (704) 740-7737.
November 17, 2025 at 4:02 AM
Remember to call and urge others to call these hotlines if they see something they suspect to be related to immigration enforcement actions. In Charlotte, Carolina Migrant Network at (704) 740-7737.
If you don't have a library card, you should get a library card. Once you have that library card, you should get the Libby app. Once you get the Libby app, go browse the newsstand. Good chance your library card gives you access to ALL THE MAGAZINES. I'm talking the real good shit. AND BACK ISSUES.
a woman in a red dress is reading a magazine titled bazaar
ALT: a woman in a red dress is reading a magazine titled bazaar
media.tenor.com
November 15, 2025 at 11:21 PM
If you don't have a library card, you should get a library card. Once you have that library card, you should get the Libby app. Once you get the Libby app, go browse the newsstand. Good chance your library card gives you access to ALL THE MAGAZINES. I'm talking the real good shit. AND BACK ISSUES.
Reposted by Mallory Langston
‘Father’ and ‘dad’ are synonyms.
‘Figure’ and ‘bod’ are synonyms.
But, a ‘father figure’ and a ‘dad bod’ aren’t exactly the same thing…
‘Figure’ and ‘bod’ are synonyms.
But, a ‘father figure’ and a ‘dad bod’ aren’t exactly the same thing…
November 14, 2025 at 3:09 PM
‘Father’ and ‘dad’ are synonyms.
‘Figure’ and ‘bod’ are synonyms.
But, a ‘father figure’ and a ‘dad bod’ aren’t exactly the same thing…
‘Figure’ and ‘bod’ are synonyms.
But, a ‘father figure’ and a ‘dad bod’ aren’t exactly the same thing…
Reposted by Mallory Langston
I am shooting my shot.
I love writing op-eds.
@teenvogue.com was my main outlet, but if there are any others (especially independently ran) that are looking for a contributing writer on race, gender, and the economy, I'd love to work with you.
Signed,
A Black woman who writes for the public
I love writing op-eds.
@teenvogue.com was my main outlet, but if there are any others (especially independently ran) that are looking for a contributing writer on race, gender, and the economy, I'd love to work with you.
Signed,
A Black woman who writes for the public
November 13, 2025 at 12:02 AM
I am shooting my shot.
I love writing op-eds.
@teenvogue.com was my main outlet, but if there are any others (especially independently ran) that are looking for a contributing writer on race, gender, and the economy, I'd love to work with you.
Signed,
A Black woman who writes for the public
I love writing op-eds.
@teenvogue.com was my main outlet, but if there are any others (especially independently ran) that are looking for a contributing writer on race, gender, and the economy, I'd love to work with you.
Signed,
A Black woman who writes for the public
You know what? That was the absolute right thing to do. He has no health expertise that would allow him serve this human in any meaningful way. His presence in this setting would only obstruct those with expertise improving the situation...OH WAIT
RFK Jr's response to someone collapsing nearby him was to haul ass out of the room as quickly as possible
November 6, 2025 at 6:32 PM
You know what? That was the absolute right thing to do. He has no health expertise that would allow him serve this human in any meaningful way. His presence in this setting would only obstruct those with expertise improving the situation...OH WAIT
I turned 41 last month, and my birthday gift from the universe was perimenopause acne. I'm going to the doc this afternoon to talk hormones, but I'm sharing this because I want you to know that EVERY uterus-burdened friend my age that I've mentioned this to is also struggling with peri symptoms...
November 6, 2025 at 4:35 PM
I turned 41 last month, and my birthday gift from the universe was perimenopause acne. I'm going to the doc this afternoon to talk hormones, but I'm sharing this because I want you to know that EVERY uterus-burdened friend my age that I've mentioned this to is also struggling with peri symptoms...
Reposted by Mallory Langston
Reposted by Mallory Langston
Friends— here it is. Updated & expanded thanks to the space afforded to me in the @therumpus.net & the guidance of the brilliant @roxanegay.bsky.social’s edits. The win centers Muslims humanity — but what does that mean in a country that rejects that?
therumpus.net/2025/11/05/z...
therumpus.net/2025/11/05/z...
November 5, 2025 at 10:00 PM
Friends— here it is. Updated & expanded thanks to the space afforded to me in the @therumpus.net & the guidance of the brilliant @roxanegay.bsky.social’s edits. The win centers Muslims humanity — but what does that mean in a country that rejects that?
therumpus.net/2025/11/05/z...
therumpus.net/2025/11/05/z...
Reposted by Mallory Langston
Just thinking back to how I was feeling a year ago.
This is better.
This is better.
November 5, 2025 at 4:47 AM
Just thinking back to how I was feeling a year ago.
This is better.
This is better.
I made dis. (The kid and the costume.) 😊
November 1, 2025 at 6:15 AM
I made dis. (The kid and the costume.) 😊
Reposted by Mallory Langston
If you’re wanting to help your local food bank, GIVE THEM CASH. They can stretch the dollar much farther than you buying and donating canned goods.
October 21, 2025 at 3:47 PM
If you’re wanting to help your local food bank, GIVE THEM CASH. They can stretch the dollar much farther than you buying and donating canned goods.
One way I'm taking joy where I find it in these unprecedented times:
I remember well how we were scrambling to find masks in 2020. Cloth masks were so fucking uncomfortable. When we finally got access to the good shit, it was a figurative and literal breath of fresh air. ...
I remember well how we were scrambling to find masks in 2020. Cloth masks were so fucking uncomfortable. When we finally got access to the good shit, it was a figurative and literal breath of fresh air. ...
October 9, 2025 at 8:47 PM
One way I'm taking joy where I find it in these unprecedented times:
I remember well how we were scrambling to find masks in 2020. Cloth masks were so fucking uncomfortable. When we finally got access to the good shit, it was a figurative and literal breath of fresh air. ...
I remember well how we were scrambling to find masks in 2020. Cloth masks were so fucking uncomfortable. When we finally got access to the good shit, it was a figurative and literal breath of fresh air. ...
I'm just not one for posting online anymore, but we're all holding up well over here. Socks is unbearably handsome, but we're managing. 😊
September 30, 2025 at 12:09 AM
I'm just not one for posting online anymore, but we're all holding up well over here. Socks is unbearably handsome, but we're managing. 😊
Drop an old person that you’re going to turn into in the future.
August 7, 2025 at 5:11 PM
Drop an old person that you’re going to turn into in the future.
Socks is thriving. ❤️
July 11, 2025 at 9:40 PM
Socks is thriving. ❤️
This photo of Socks is only for those who stand with trans kids and the families who love them. You will always be safe with my family and me. ❤️🏳️⚧️
June 19, 2025 at 12:21 AM
This photo of Socks is only for those who stand with trans kids and the families who love them. You will always be safe with my family and me. ❤️🏳️⚧️
Socks is still very, very, exceptionally cute. Just in case you need him.
June 10, 2025 at 12:19 AM
Socks is still very, very, exceptionally cute. Just in case you need him.