an actual cave goblin that lives in darkness
@ptr33.bsky.social
don't mind me, just emptying my brain here. disorganized thoughts on many a thing.
Queer (terfs can fuck off), 30+, anti-AI (if you support that shit, what are you doing here lmao? bye!).
Queer (terfs can fuck off), 30+, anti-AI (if you support that shit, what are you doing here lmao? bye!).
also henry cavill's replacement looks like a fucking chewed up wet napkin
October 31, 2025 at 2:03 AM
also henry cavill's replacement looks like a fucking chewed up wet napkin
but first i am going to make myself go deaf by blasting metal 24/7 😀
October 31, 2025 at 1:37 AM
but first i am going to make myself go deaf by blasting metal 24/7 😀
Reposted by an actual cave goblin that lives in darkness
i drank the head-hurtin' juice today
trying to hoist myself out of the pit of rancid garbage that is 'other people's shitty opinions existing in my periphery'
and let me tell you,
i have this horrible tendency to ruminate
even though this achieves nothing. 👍
trying to hoist myself out of the pit of rancid garbage that is 'other people's shitty opinions existing in my periphery'
and let me tell you,
i have this horrible tendency to ruminate
even though this achieves nothing. 👍
September 25, 2025 at 12:55 AM
i drank the head-hurtin' juice today
trying to hoist myself out of the pit of rancid garbage that is 'other people's shitty opinions existing in my periphery'
and let me tell you,
i have this horrible tendency to ruminate
even though this achieves nothing. 👍
trying to hoist myself out of the pit of rancid garbage that is 'other people's shitty opinions existing in my periphery'
and let me tell you,
i have this horrible tendency to ruminate
even though this achieves nothing. 👍
either so dissociated i'm out of body or two seconds away from an anxiety attack.
good god i just want this to end.
good god i just want this to end.
July 18, 2025 at 6:26 PM
either so dissociated i'm out of body or two seconds away from an anxiety attack.
good god i just want this to end.
good god i just want this to end.
“At the heart of the anorexia of artistic avoidance is the denial of process. We like to focus on having learned a skill or on having made an artwork. This attention to final form ignores the fact that creativity lies not in the done but in doing.”
-Julia Cameron. “The Artist's Way.”
-Julia Cameron. “The Artist's Way.”
June 22, 2025 at 8:53 PM
“At the heart of the anorexia of artistic avoidance is the denial of process. We like to focus on having learned a skill or on having made an artwork. This attention to final form ignores the fact that creativity lies not in the done but in doing.”
-Julia Cameron. “The Artist's Way.”
-Julia Cameron. “The Artist's Way.”
why am i so scared of painting.
June 21, 2025 at 5:55 PM
why am i so scared of painting.
looks at project notes: 'aim for 3k and call it there!'
looks at current outline word count: 3.5k
why am i like this why can't i write short fucking stories anymore ahahaha hahaha ha ough my brain
looks at current outline word count: 3.5k
why am i like this why can't i write short fucking stories anymore ahahaha hahaha ha ough my brain
June 20, 2025 at 10:12 PM
looks at project notes: 'aim for 3k and call it there!'
looks at current outline word count: 3.5k
why am i like this why can't i write short fucking stories anymore ahahaha hahaha ha ough my brain
looks at current outline word count: 3.5k
why am i like this why can't i write short fucking stories anymore ahahaha hahaha ha ough my brain
“The perfectionist writes so many versions of scene one that she never gets to the rest of the play. The perfectionist writes, paints, creates with one eye on her audience. Instead of enjoying the process, the perfectionist is constantly grading the results.”
Julia Cameron. “The Artist's Way.”
Julia Cameron. “The Artist's Way.”
June 20, 2025 at 8:44 PM
“The perfectionist writes so many versions of scene one that she never gets to the rest of the play. The perfectionist writes, paints, creates with one eye on her audience. Instead of enjoying the process, the perfectionist is constantly grading the results.”
Julia Cameron. “The Artist's Way.”
Julia Cameron. “The Artist's Way.”
so, this morning, as i started my walk, i noticed that my knees hurt like a motherfucker after the rain. then i decided, it would be better if i just walk the pain off. and i did an extra lap around the neighborhood.
conclusion: my hip ache is WORSE, i am sore and irritable! i am my own problem!
conclusion: my hip ache is WORSE, i am sore and irritable! i am my own problem!
June 20, 2025 at 5:18 PM
so, this morning, as i started my walk, i noticed that my knees hurt like a motherfucker after the rain. then i decided, it would be better if i just walk the pain off. and i did an extra lap around the neighborhood.
conclusion: my hip ache is WORSE, i am sore and irritable! i am my own problem!
conclusion: my hip ache is WORSE, i am sore and irritable! i am my own problem!
...or am i just losing my mind? what is it. what could it be.
June 19, 2025 at 9:15 PM
...or am i just losing my mind? what is it. what could it be.
also, personal disease of 'i need to be productive in some way or i'm worthless'. need to be doing something constantly or anxiety turns to panic.
it's very much there and fucking SCREAMING at me.
it's very much there and fucking SCREAMING at me.
June 19, 2025 at 8:21 PM
also, personal disease of 'i need to be productive in some way or i'm worthless'. need to be doing something constantly or anxiety turns to panic.
it's very much there and fucking SCREAMING at me.
it's very much there and fucking SCREAMING at me.
drawing exercises build muscle memory. i want to draw in a way where i can make confident marks and if that means 1million circles and directional lines then, fuck. i give myself so much grief about 'doing it wrong'. i can't make visual art intuitively!!! i don't know how to translate that to paper.
June 19, 2025 at 8:15 PM
drawing exercises build muscle memory. i want to draw in a way where i can make confident marks and if that means 1million circles and directional lines then, fuck. i give myself so much grief about 'doing it wrong'. i can't make visual art intuitively!!! i don't know how to translate that to paper.
art is subjective.
you can do anything you want,
first drafts tend to be hot garbage.
just get the words out and fret over them later.
that weird guilt and shame that you feel about creating art are a lie. make bad shit anyway. it is not wasted in the end.
you can do anything you want,
first drafts tend to be hot garbage.
just get the words out and fret over them later.
that weird guilt and shame that you feel about creating art are a lie. make bad shit anyway. it is not wasted in the end.
June 19, 2025 at 8:05 PM
art is subjective.
you can do anything you want,
first drafts tend to be hot garbage.
just get the words out and fret over them later.
that weird guilt and shame that you feel about creating art are a lie. make bad shit anyway. it is not wasted in the end.
you can do anything you want,
first drafts tend to be hot garbage.
just get the words out and fret over them later.
that weird guilt and shame that you feel about creating art are a lie. make bad shit anyway. it is not wasted in the end.
'Poetry to a high-school student is usually greeting-card verse, or Rod McKuen.'
ROASTED.
ROASTED.
June 18, 2025 at 2:29 AM
'Poetry to a high-school student is usually greeting-card verse, or Rod McKuen.'
ROASTED.
ROASTED.
Reposted by an actual cave goblin that lives in darkness
You know you can just not use AI, right?
You can make a choice not to be part of this.
Even if your job uses it, YOU don’t have to in your normal life. You don’t have to let your kids use it.
You didn’t have it three years ago. You can just…be on Team Human. You can choose.
You can make a choice not to be part of this.
Even if your job uses it, YOU don’t have to in your normal life. You don’t have to let your kids use it.
You didn’t have it three years ago. You can just…be on Team Human. You can choose.
June 6, 2025 at 1:22 PM
You know you can just not use AI, right?
You can make a choice not to be part of this.
Even if your job uses it, YOU don’t have to in your normal life. You don’t have to let your kids use it.
You didn’t have it three years ago. You can just…be on Team Human. You can choose.
You can make a choice not to be part of this.
Even if your job uses it, YOU don’t have to in your normal life. You don’t have to let your kids use it.
You didn’t have it three years ago. You can just…be on Team Human. You can choose.
I'm great at mornings now! I can tolerate this part of the day!
But once it hits 11am, my brain goes through at least eight separate cycles of grief and then I have to start wrestling demons while spacing the fuck out until it is Time To Sleep.
But once it hits 11am, my brain goes through at least eight separate cycles of grief and then I have to start wrestling demons while spacing the fuck out until it is Time To Sleep.
June 5, 2025 at 6:14 PM
I'm great at mornings now! I can tolerate this part of the day!
But once it hits 11am, my brain goes through at least eight separate cycles of grief and then I have to start wrestling demons while spacing the fuck out until it is Time To Sleep.
But once it hits 11am, my brain goes through at least eight separate cycles of grief and then I have to start wrestling demons while spacing the fuck out until it is Time To Sleep.
Reposted by an actual cave goblin that lives in darkness
Following my headcanon about Siuan's hair going white from shock after her stilling, I wanted to reflect on women and violence in fiction, and letting brutality, age and survival mark their skin rather than enshrining their youth in death and memories
I miss them
#Siuaraine
#TheWheelOfTime
I miss them
#Siuaraine
#TheWheelOfTime
June 1, 2025 at 6:40 PM
Following my headcanon about Siuan's hair going white from shock after her stilling, I wanted to reflect on women and violence in fiction, and letting brutality, age and survival mark their skin rather than enshrining their youth in death and memories
I miss them
#Siuaraine
#TheWheelOfTime
I miss them
#Siuaraine
#TheWheelOfTime
Every time I see 'Portrait of a Lady on Fire' gifs or anything of that sort, I have to close my eyes and clench my fist and think 'CINEMA'.
Because really... what compares?
Because really... what compares?
June 1, 2025 at 7:08 PM
Every time I see 'Portrait of a Lady on Fire' gifs or anything of that sort, I have to close my eyes and clench my fist and think 'CINEMA'.
Because really... what compares?
Because really... what compares?
i need something to hurt so i don't feel this absolute inadequacy anymore. lmao.
May 30, 2025 at 7:04 PM
i need something to hurt so i don't feel this absolute inadequacy anymore. lmao.
TW:self harm
trying to read this writer's block book but the section on brain chemistry made me realize exactly how broken my brain is and now i want to throw myself down a flight of stairs or slam my hand in a door repeatedly. 🙃
trying to read this writer's block book but the section on brain chemistry made me realize exactly how broken my brain is and now i want to throw myself down a flight of stairs or slam my hand in a door repeatedly. 🙃
May 30, 2025 at 7:02 PM
TW:self harm
trying to read this writer's block book but the section on brain chemistry made me realize exactly how broken my brain is and now i want to throw myself down a flight of stairs or slam my hand in a door repeatedly. 🙃
trying to read this writer's block book but the section on brain chemistry made me realize exactly how broken my brain is and now i want to throw myself down a flight of stairs or slam my hand in a door repeatedly. 🙃
and now i've worked myself into a panic. accompanied by chest pain. cool cool. this is fine.jpeg
May 30, 2025 at 4:38 PM
and now i've worked myself into a panic. accompanied by chest pain. cool cool. this is fine.jpeg
why is it that i can only think 'i am a problem' whenever i experience anything
May 30, 2025 at 4:00 PM
why is it that i can only think 'i am a problem' whenever i experience anything
stairs are my mortal enemy. i went down to the basement ONCE. it does not warrant this much hip pain. i am going to scream.
May 30, 2025 at 3:57 PM
stairs are my mortal enemy. i went down to the basement ONCE. it does not warrant this much hip pain. i am going to scream.
annnd awake again! wow. fun.
i wish i could contort my body into a comfortable position but that seems like it won't happen.
i wish i could contort my body into a comfortable position but that seems like it won't happen.
May 27, 2025 at 7:24 AM
annnd awake again! wow. fun.
i wish i could contort my body into a comfortable position but that seems like it won't happen.
i wish i could contort my body into a comfortable position but that seems like it won't happen.