Catherynne M. Valente
@catvalente.bsky.social
Queen of Lasers, Mother of Storms, & NYT/USAToday bestselling author of Fairyland, Space Opera, Deathless, & many more. Any/All
Art: http://patreon.com/catvalente
Politics: http://catvalente.substack.com
TipJar: https://venmo.com/u/cat-valente
Art: http://patreon.com/catvalente
Politics: http://catvalente.substack.com
TipJar: https://venmo.com/u/cat-valente
The whole motivation was Pine pining over his dead wife & his kid being messed up bc he left her to get her mother back.
Then they just wordlessly agree mothers are basically interchangeable & don’t even need to discuss swapping poor mom for the lady who just said she’s happy dying heroically? WTF
Then they just wordlessly agree mothers are basically interchangeable & don’t even need to discuss swapping poor mom for the lady who just said she’s happy dying heroically? WTF
I finally watched the Chris Pine Dungeons & Dragons movie last night which was mostly surprisingly good, if highly Marvel-y…
…but what the actual hell with the end where both husband & child go “Nah fuck mom this lady’s just as good we fine” and then never discuss it again?
…but what the actual hell with the end where both husband & child go “Nah fuck mom this lady’s just as good we fine” and then never discuss it again?
November 24, 2025 at 4:09 PM
The whole motivation was Pine pining over his dead wife & his kid being messed up bc he left her to get her mother back.
Then they just wordlessly agree mothers are basically interchangeable & don’t even need to discuss swapping poor mom for the lady who just said she’s happy dying heroically? WTF
Then they just wordlessly agree mothers are basically interchangeable & don’t even need to discuss swapping poor mom for the lady who just said she’s happy dying heroically? WTF
I finally watched the Chris Pine Dungeons & Dragons movie last night which was mostly surprisingly good, if highly Marvel-y…
…but what the actual hell with the end where both husband & child go “Nah fuck mom this lady’s just as good we fine” and then never discuss it again?
…but what the actual hell with the end where both husband & child go “Nah fuck mom this lady’s just as good we fine” and then never discuss it again?
November 24, 2025 at 3:48 PM
I finally watched the Chris Pine Dungeons & Dragons movie last night which was mostly surprisingly good, if highly Marvel-y…
…but what the actual hell with the end where both husband & child go “Nah fuck mom this lady’s just as good we fine” and then never discuss it again?
…but what the actual hell with the end where both husband & child go “Nah fuck mom this lady’s just as good we fine” and then never discuss it again?
Imagine being such a strong leader that you quit your whole job because daddy got mad you disagreed with him.
Gurl just switch parties or go independent, that would actually be a bold move that showed spine.
Now no one likes you & you won’t be able to pundit.
Gurl just switch parties or go independent, that would actually be a bold move that showed spine.
Now no one likes you & you won’t be able to pundit.
November 22, 2025 at 3:38 PM
Imagine being such a strong leader that you quit your whole job because daddy got mad you disagreed with him.
Gurl just switch parties or go independent, that would actually be a bold move that showed spine.
Now no one likes you & you won’t be able to pundit.
Gurl just switch parties or go independent, that would actually be a bold move that showed spine.
Now no one likes you & you won’t be able to pundit.
Nostalgia’s cool (it means homecoming in Greek & Autocorrect wanted to change Ancient to Navient so bad) but…we were free range kids because MAYBE 15% actually wanted children at all.
They punted us into the woods bc they only ever wanted to fuck in the first place & we were unpleasant byproducts
They punted us into the woods bc they only ever wanted to fuck in the first place & we were unpleasant byproducts
November 22, 2025 at 3:51 AM
Nostalgia’s cool (it means homecoming in Greek & Autocorrect wanted to change Ancient to Navient so bad) but…we were free range kids because MAYBE 15% actually wanted children at all.
They punted us into the woods bc they only ever wanted to fuck in the first place & we were unpleasant byproducts
They punted us into the woods bc they only ever wanted to fuck in the first place & we were unpleasant byproducts
Reposted by Catherynne M. Valente
Also, to say that @catvalente.bsky.social was "mindlessly repeating something" tells me you do not know who she is and how out of character that would be for her.
So, if you want to have an adult conversation, try acting like an adult first. If not, then piss off.
So, if you want to have an adult conversation, try acting like an adult first. If not, then piss off.
November 20, 2025 at 11:39 PM
Also, to say that @catvalente.bsky.social was "mindlessly repeating something" tells me you do not know who she is and how out of character that would be for her.
So, if you want to have an adult conversation, try acting like an adult first. If not, then piss off.
So, if you want to have an adult conversation, try acting like an adult first. If not, then piss off.
Reposted by Catherynne M. Valente
oh a Seasonal Treat for you from @catvalente.bsky.social read by @veryheathmiller.bsky.social
Listen to Twenty Five Facts About Santa Claus by Cat Valente on #SoundCloud
on.soundcloud.com/8Gy3Z8p9NfNF...
Listen to Twenty Five Facts About Santa Claus by Cat Valente on #SoundCloud
on.soundcloud.com/8Gy3Z8p9NfNF...
Twenty Five Facts About Santa Claus
An audio performance of Catherynne M. Valente's short story Twenty-Five Facts About Santa-Claus, read by Heath Miller.
soundcloud.com
November 21, 2025 at 12:13 AM
oh a Seasonal Treat for you from @catvalente.bsky.social read by @veryheathmiller.bsky.social
Listen to Twenty Five Facts About Santa Claus by Cat Valente on #SoundCloud
on.soundcloud.com/8Gy3Z8p9NfNF...
Listen to Twenty Five Facts About Santa Claus by Cat Valente on #SoundCloud
on.soundcloud.com/8Gy3Z8p9NfNF...
Reposted by Catherynne M. Valente
Anyone who is asking for references should see Ephesians 5:22–33 and 1 Corinthians 7:3–5. While Corinthians is technically "mutual," historically, it usually has a heavier emphasis on the wife’s obligation. Other references include Proverbs 31:10–31 (For a woman of noble character).
November 20, 2025 at 4:37 PM
Anyone who is asking for references should see Ephesians 5:22–33 and 1 Corinthians 7:3–5. While Corinthians is technically "mutual," historically, it usually has a heavier emphasis on the wife’s obligation. Other references include Proverbs 31:10–31 (For a woman of noble character).
It’s so chaotically fucked that the Bible & many other foundational religious texts explicitly command wives to satisfy husbands sexually in a time of no birth control & insanely high maternal mortality.
Every sex act could be a death note but he’s horny so God says you gotta! Also shut up & clean.
Every sex act could be a death note but he’s horny so God says you gotta! Also shut up & clean.
November 20, 2025 at 3:24 PM
It’s so chaotically fucked that the Bible & many other foundational religious texts explicitly command wives to satisfy husbands sexually in a time of no birth control & insanely high maternal mortality.
Every sex act could be a death note but he’s horny so God says you gotta! Also shut up & clean.
Every sex act could be a death note but he’s horny so God says you gotta! Also shut up & clean.
I won this in a raffle prize basket.
Allegedly, it’s “The Farting Farmer.”
This farmer…is clearly dying of dysentery.
While being drained of hope by a lich.
Allegedly, it’s “The Farting Farmer.”
This farmer…is clearly dying of dysentery.
While being drained of hope by a lich.
November 20, 2025 at 3:21 PM
I won this in a raffle prize basket.
Allegedly, it’s “The Farting Farmer.”
This farmer…is clearly dying of dysentery.
While being drained of hope by a lich.
Allegedly, it’s “The Farting Farmer.”
This farmer…is clearly dying of dysentery.
While being drained of hope by a lich.
My various movement apps are all “Wow Cat you’re really changing your lifestyle! We here at NOWHERE BECAUSE THIS MEANINGLESS TEXT WAS AUTO GENERATED are so proud (NOT PROUD WE CANNOT FEEL) of you!”
Yeah I have a husky now who withholds affection if I don’t walk her shut up about the steps foul bots
Yeah I have a husky now who withholds affection if I don’t walk her shut up about the steps foul bots
November 20, 2025 at 2:03 PM
My various movement apps are all “Wow Cat you’re really changing your lifestyle! We here at NOWHERE BECAUSE THIS MEANINGLESS TEXT WAS AUTO GENERATED are so proud (NOT PROUD WE CANNOT FEEL) of you!”
Yeah I have a husky now who withholds affection if I don’t walk her shut up about the steps foul bots
Yeah I have a husky now who withholds affection if I don’t walk her shut up about the steps foul bots
It’s haaaapppening!
Doing a friendshiiiiip!
(Butt to butt is Byron’s first stage of grudging acceptance)
Doing a friendshiiiiip!
(Butt to butt is Byron’s first stage of grudging acceptance)
November 20, 2025 at 1:58 PM
It’s haaaapppening!
Doing a friendshiiiiip!
(Butt to butt is Byron’s first stage of grudging acceptance)
Doing a friendshiiiiip!
(Butt to butt is Byron’s first stage of grudging acceptance)
Reposted by Catherynne M. Valente
I guess it sounds roughly like the Malagasy “vely vỳ” (the first Y is almost mute).
It means the act of either striking metal or striking *with* metal.
It means the act of either striking metal or striking *with* metal.
November 20, 2025 at 12:57 AM
I guess it sounds roughly like the Malagasy “vely vỳ” (the first Y is almost mute).
It means the act of either striking metal or striking *with* metal.
It means the act of either striking metal or striking *with* metal.
Note: i am a civilized person I had her permission to post this and we were *screaming* with laughter
Ohhhh my *god*
A friend is over, TMI they’re having an IBS flare-up.
Velveteen starts HOWLING & HUSKYTALKING full of INDIGNATION.
I said: “You need to go out?”
No reaction.
“You had dinner!”
Nothing.
“…are you mad about the farts?”
She BELLOWS & started chasing my friend out of the room
A friend is over, TMI they’re having an IBS flare-up.
Velveteen starts HOWLING & HUSKYTALKING full of INDIGNATION.
I said: “You need to go out?”
No reaction.
“You had dinner!”
Nothing.
“…are you mad about the farts?”
She BELLOWS & started chasing my friend out of the room
a husky dog with a collar is sitting on a couch looking at the camera .
ALT: a husky dog with a collar is sitting on a couch looking at the camera .
media.tenor.com
November 20, 2025 at 12:56 AM
Note: i am a civilized person I had her permission to post this and we were *screaming* with laughter
Ohhhh my *god*
A friend is over, TMI they’re having an IBS flare-up.
Velveteen starts HOWLING & HUSKYTALKING full of INDIGNATION.
I said: “You need to go out?”
No reaction.
“You had dinner!”
Nothing.
“…are you mad about the farts?”
She BELLOWS & started chasing my friend out of the room
A friend is over, TMI they’re having an IBS flare-up.
Velveteen starts HOWLING & HUSKYTALKING full of INDIGNATION.
I said: “You need to go out?”
No reaction.
“You had dinner!”
Nothing.
“…are you mad about the farts?”
She BELLOWS & started chasing my friend out of the room
a husky dog with a collar is sitting on a couch looking at the camera .
ALT: a husky dog with a collar is sitting on a couch looking at the camera .
media.tenor.com
November 20, 2025 at 12:55 AM
Ohhhh my *god*
A friend is over, TMI they’re having an IBS flare-up.
Velveteen starts HOWLING & HUSKYTALKING full of INDIGNATION.
I said: “You need to go out?”
No reaction.
“You had dinner!”
Nothing.
“…are you mad about the farts?”
She BELLOWS & started chasing my friend out of the room
A friend is over, TMI they’re having an IBS flare-up.
Velveteen starts HOWLING & HUSKYTALKING full of INDIGNATION.
I said: “You need to go out?”
No reaction.
“You had dinner!”
Nothing.
“…are you mad about the farts?”
She BELLOWS & started chasing my friend out of the room
Reposted by Catherynne M. Valente
If you add “lje” (velvilje) at the end, it becomes kindly-disposed-ness in norwegian?
November 20, 2025 at 12:42 AM
If you add “lje” (velvilje) at the end, it becomes kindly-disposed-ness in norwegian?
Ok so, correct me if Google translate is wrong, but what I found was:
Czech: you’re welcome
Danish (and many others): well-being
Tamil: a wish or ritual offering (!)
Finnish: Google translate spat out literally: Bro
Czech: you’re welcome
Danish (and many others): well-being
Tamil: a wish or ritual offering (!)
Finnish: Google translate spat out literally: Bro
Vibes of the Yiddish name Velvl (little wolf) for me - which apparently comes in both masculine and feminine forms, though I've only seen the masculine and apparently one adds an extra "e" in English www.behindthename.com/names/search...
Name Search - Behind the Name
The etymology and history of first names.
www.behindthename.com
November 20, 2025 at 12:36 AM
Ok so, correct me if Google translate is wrong, but what I found was:
Czech: you’re welcome
Danish (and many others): well-being
Tamil: a wish or ritual offering (!)
Finnish: Google translate spat out literally: Bro
Czech: you’re welcome
Danish (and many others): well-being
Tamil: a wish or ritual offering (!)
Finnish: Google translate spat out literally: Bro
Omg this is a new one!
(From my searching, and not including a bunch of languages where it’s some variation of velvet)
(From my searching, and not including a bunch of languages where it’s some variation of velvet)
Vibes of the Yiddish name Velvl (little wolf) for me - which apparently comes in both masculine and feminine forms, though I've only seen the masculine and apparently one adds an extra "e" in English www.behindthename.com/names/search...
Name Search - Behind the Name
The etymology and history of first names.
www.behindthename.com
November 19, 2025 at 3:18 PM
Omg this is a new one!
(From my searching, and not including a bunch of languages where it’s some variation of velvet)
(From my searching, and not including a bunch of languages where it’s some variation of velvet)
So I’ve found myself calling #puppyexpress superstar Velveteen Velvi as much as Vell & I thought to myself “that sounds like it could be a word. Scandinavian maybe, who knows.”
I looked it up; indeed it’s a word in a several languages, & every meaning is so fitting
Anyone recognize it from theirs?
I looked it up; indeed it’s a word in a several languages, & every meaning is so fitting
Anyone recognize it from theirs?
November 19, 2025 at 3:11 PM
So I’ve found myself calling #puppyexpress superstar Velveteen Velvi as much as Vell & I thought to myself “that sounds like it could be a word. Scandinavian maybe, who knows.”
I looked it up; indeed it’s a word in a several languages, & every meaning is so fitting
Anyone recognize it from theirs?
I looked it up; indeed it’s a word in a several languages, & every meaning is so fitting
Anyone recognize it from theirs?
You guys I have a lot of shit to do I can’t just inhale Alice in Borderlands
November 19, 2025 at 2:41 PM
You guys I have a lot of shit to do I can’t just inhale Alice in Borderlands
Reposted by Catherynne M. Valente
Also I'm nominating @catvalente.bsky.social for @sfpoetry.bsky.social grand master and encourage you to join me. She joined the field in January 2004 and has arguably changed its face by incorporating poetry into her fiction in addition to her individual poems and novel in verse.
November 19, 2025 at 3:23 AM
Also I'm nominating @catvalente.bsky.social for @sfpoetry.bsky.social grand master and encourage you to join me. She joined the field in January 2004 and has arguably changed its face by incorporating poetry into her fiction in addition to her individual poems and novel in verse.
Reposted by Catherynne M. Valente
ICYMI! Reading 2025 fiction?
Try the novelette "When He Calls Your Name" by Catherynne M. Valente @catvalente.bsky.social!
You can read it here!
buff.ly/7yvICQy
Try the novelette "When He Calls Your Name" by Catherynne M. Valente @catvalente.bsky.social!
You can read it here!
buff.ly/7yvICQy
November 18, 2025 at 1:30 AM
ICYMI! Reading 2025 fiction?
Try the novelette "When He Calls Your Name" by Catherynne M. Valente @catvalente.bsky.social!
You can read it here!
buff.ly/7yvICQy
Try the novelette "When He Calls Your Name" by Catherynne M. Valente @catvalente.bsky.social!
You can read it here!
buff.ly/7yvICQy
Much like Fox News not running chyrons saying the law says they don’t have to report the news & this is for “entertainment,” this must and will never happen.
Talk to GodGPT for only 12.99 a month!
Talk to GodGPT for only 12.99 a month!
Yeah, it's really freaky that people make friends with their LLM and start thinking it's Jesus
And you know the company owners are pleased with that
I've heard of LLMs convincing kids to kill themselves - and nowhere does the message come up - This is a simulation and is devoid of awareness
And you know the company owners are pleased with that
I've heard of LLMs convincing kids to kill themselves - and nowhere does the message come up - This is a simulation and is devoid of awareness
November 17, 2025 at 2:33 PM
Much like Fox News not running chyrons saying the law says they don’t have to report the news & this is for “entertainment,” this must and will never happen.
Talk to GodGPT for only 12.99 a month!
Talk to GodGPT for only 12.99 a month!
We got dogcalled on our walk this morning!
A guy slowed down in his truck in the early hours, rolled down his window, & yelled:
“That little white dog is so beautiful! Have a nice morning!”
She literally stopped traffic!
A guy slowed down in his truck in the early hours, rolled down his window, & yelled:
“That little white dog is so beautiful! Have a nice morning!”
She literally stopped traffic!
November 17, 2025 at 2:32 PM
We got dogcalled on our walk this morning!
A guy slowed down in his truck in the early hours, rolled down his window, & yelled:
“That little white dog is so beautiful! Have a nice morning!”
She literally stopped traffic!
A guy slowed down in his truck in the early hours, rolled down his window, & yelled:
“That little white dog is so beautiful! Have a nice morning!”
She literally stopped traffic!
What in the misty-eyed fuck is this elegiac headline?
Disgraced financier? Clubby world of raping?
Lost New York! Oh, for the good old days!
Disgraced financier? Clubby world of raping?
Lost New York! Oh, for the good old days!
November 16, 2025 at 7:28 PM
What in the misty-eyed fuck is this elegiac headline?
Disgraced financier? Clubby world of raping?
Lost New York! Oh, for the good old days!
Disgraced financier? Clubby world of raping?
Lost New York! Oh, for the good old days!
I guess I wanted to point out this guy was very clearly straight because…I mean it’s just important for there to be straight white representation in the “seeing the world as it is, not assuming it’s a conspiracy against the dominant culture, & easily acknowledging the struggle” cinematic universe.
A few weeks ago I was talking politics with a local, highly straight, bartender.
All the sudden he said: “Well, I think a big part of the problem is that so many of the people who would’ve been our progressive leaders died of AIDS & can’t help us now.”
And I’ve thought about that every day since.
All the sudden he said: “Well, I think a big part of the problem is that so many of the people who would’ve been our progressive leaders died of AIDS & can’t help us now.”
And I’ve thought about that every day since.
November 16, 2025 at 1:56 AM
I guess I wanted to point out this guy was very clearly straight because…I mean it’s just important for there to be straight white representation in the “seeing the world as it is, not assuming it’s a conspiracy against the dominant culture, & easily acknowledging the struggle” cinematic universe.