Random Carp
@randomcarp.bsky.social
Random observations from a random fish in a river near you. Possibly a parody.
Unfortunately, most of these ICE morons don't have a clue who Himmler is.
"Something something something history repeats itself"
"Something something something history repeats itself"
Dear ICE officers: contrary to what mini-Himmler tells you, your immunity protection is not nearly that concrete nor automatic. It is very fact-dependent and can absolutely be overcome.
Himmler won't be there with you when you get in trouble. You'll be on your own.
Remember your oath.
Himmler won't be there with you when you get in trouble. You'll be on your own.
Remember your oath.
DHS tells ICE to take the gloves off; you can do anything
January 14, 2026 at 4:02 PM
Unfortunately, most of these ICE morons don't have a clue who Himmler is.
"Something something something history repeats itself"
"Something something something history repeats itself"
That's obvious but I think you have to ask the same question of his advisers. Ultimately, a lot of the "stupid" is coming from there too.
“Who on earth believes that the president could possibly have the depth of expertise to make some of these detailed decisions that he’s making? So, of course, it’s his advisers,” Tillis told a group of reporters
{gift link} wapo.st/3YAtSqz
{gift link} wapo.st/3YAtSqz
January 14, 2026 at 3:59 PM
That's obvious but I think you have to ask the same question of his advisers. Ultimately, a lot of the "stupid" is coming from there too.
Wait until the novelty wears off and the ratings really plummet.
"Overall viewership for the first five days of Dokoupil’s official run on the venerable CBS News program was off 23% from what the program captured a year ago"
variety.com/2026/tv/news...
variety.com/2026/tv/news...
‘CBS Evening News’ Viewership Slips in First Week Under Tony Dokoupil
CBS Evening News' Viewership Slips in First Week Under Tony Dokoupil
variety.com
January 14, 2026 at 4:57 AM
Wait until the novelty wears off and the ratings really plummet.
Lies are clearly going up HUGELY.
Trump lies: "Grocery prices are starting to go rapidly down. Rent is down. Airfares are down. Hotel rates are down. Cell phone prices are down."
January 14, 2026 at 12:32 AM
Lies are clearly going up HUGELY.
This administration collects crimes like they are Pokémon cards. "Gotta catch 'em all!"
Six-byline alert: 🚨
“.. laws of armed conflict forbid combatants from feigning civilian status to fool adversaries into dropping their guard, then attacking and killing them. That is a war crime called ‘perfidy.’”
@nytimes.com
www.nytimes.com/2026/01/12/u...
“.. laws of armed conflict forbid combatants from feigning civilian status to fool adversaries into dropping their guard, then attacking and killing them. That is a war crime called ‘perfidy.’”
@nytimes.com
www.nytimes.com/2026/01/12/u...
January 13, 2026 at 5:36 AM
This administration collects crimes like they are Pokémon cards. "Gotta catch 'em all!"
So much for "Best Economy Ever"!!!!
Has El Trumpo seen this clip?
Has El Trumpo seen this clip?
NEWSNATION: Why now are you for price controls?
SEN. ROGER MARSHALL: I think desperate times calls for desperate measures
SEN. ROGER MARSHALL: I think desperate times calls for desperate measures
January 13, 2026 at 5:35 AM
So much for "Best Economy Ever"!!!!
Has El Trumpo seen this clip?
Has El Trumpo seen this clip?
It's great the resistance is winning all of these cases but I'm kinda getting tired of constantly playing DEFENSE. And the courts usually take months to rule on things.
Can we please start playing OFFENSE somehow?
Can we please start playing OFFENSE somehow?
JUST IN: Judge Mehta rules that Trump/Russ Vought's termination of environmental grants during the shutdown — targeted solely at states that voted for Kamala Harris — violated the 5th Amendment's Equal Protection clause and orders them restored.
www.documentcloud.org/documents/26...
www.documentcloud.org/documents/26...
January 13, 2026 at 5:34 AM
It's great the resistance is winning all of these cases but I'm kinda getting tired of constantly playing DEFENSE. And the courts usually take months to rule on things.
Can we please start playing OFFENSE somehow?
Can we please start playing OFFENSE somehow?
This is the most Republican move ever, isn't it?
Breaking News: The EPA will stop considering lives saved when setting pollution limits and instead calculate only the cost to businesses.
E.P.A. to Stop Considering Lives Saved by Limiting Air Pollution
In a reversal, the agency plans to calculate only the cost to industry when setting pollution limits, and not the monetary value of saving human lives, documents show.
nyti.ms
January 13, 2026 at 5:32 AM
This is the most Republican move ever, isn't it?
Ummmm, why did they think this was necessary?
Did they think the fishermen were sporting sea-to-air missiles or something and gonna shoot down the US plane?
Might as well start using cruise missiles on the boats now.
Did they think the fishermen were sporting sea-to-air missiles or something and gonna shoot down the US plane?
Might as well start using cruise missiles on the boats now.
Breaking NYT:
The Pentagon used a secret aircraft painted to look like a civilian plane in its first boat attack, according to officials briefed on the matter.
The laws of armed conflict forbid combatants from feigning civilian status.
That is a war crime called "perfidy."
The Pentagon used a secret aircraft painted to look like a civilian plane in its first boat attack, according to officials briefed on the matter.
The laws of armed conflict forbid combatants from feigning civilian status.
That is a war crime called "perfidy."
U.S. Attacked Boat With Aircraft That Looked Like a Civilian Plane
www.nytimes.com
January 13, 2026 at 5:25 AM
Ummmm, why did they think this was necessary?
Did they think the fishermen were sporting sea-to-air missiles or something and gonna shoot down the US plane?
Might as well start using cruise missiles on the boats now.
Did they think the fishermen were sporting sea-to-air missiles or something and gonna shoot down the US plane?
Might as well start using cruise missiles on the boats now.
Are the Falcons interviewing Harbaugh?
Or is Harbaugh interviewing the Falcons?
Asking for a league...
Or is Harbaugh interviewing the Falcons?
Asking for a league...
January 13, 2026 at 1:11 AM
Are the Falcons interviewing Harbaugh?
Or is Harbaugh interviewing the Falcons?
Asking for a league...
Or is Harbaugh interviewing the Falcons?
Asking for a league...
I'm a little surprised the "Sell America" trade is so muted today. What are the markets waiting for? Trump to have the Delta Force kidnap Powell and hold him in El Salvador's notorious CECOT?
January 12, 2026 at 4:24 PM
I'm a little surprised the "Sell America" trade is so muted today. What are the markets waiting for? Trump to have the Delta Force kidnap Powell and hold him in El Salvador's notorious CECOT?
We could be in all-out nuclear war and this rube would try to find some way to positively spin things.
"If I'm sitting here, I'm thinking a lot of real estate is going to becoming available real soon. Some real fixer-uppers after we sweep away the radioactive stuff with industrial brooms...."
"If I'm sitting here, I'm thinking a lot of real estate is going to becoming available real soon. Some real fixer-uppers after we sweep away the radioactive stuff with industrial brooms...."
Hassett: "If I'm sitting here in the White House and somebody says, 'Hey, the DOJ wants to look at all your emails,' then I would welcome the opportunity to show them that I'm fine. And I also think that that's what I would expect of every government employee."
January 12, 2026 at 4:03 PM
We could be in all-out nuclear war and this rube would try to find some way to positively spin things.
"If I'm sitting here, I'm thinking a lot of real estate is going to becoming available real soon. Some real fixer-uppers after we sweep away the radioactive stuff with industrial brooms...."
"If I'm sitting here, I'm thinking a lot of real estate is going to becoming available real soon. Some real fixer-uppers after we sweep away the radioactive stuff with industrial brooms...."
Trump and Pulte vs Powell.
That doesn't seem like a fair fight. Powell's gonna demolish them.
That doesn't seem like a fair fight. Powell's gonna demolish them.
“.. Pulte was a driving force behind the Trump administration’s decision to subpoena the Federal Reserve, according to people familiar with the matter.”
@bloomberg.com
www.bloomberg.com/news/article...
@bloomberg.com
www.bloomberg.com/news/article...
January 12, 2026 at 4:00 PM
Trump and Pulte vs Powell.
That doesn't seem like a fair fight. Powell's gonna demolish them.
That doesn't seem like a fair fight. Powell's gonna demolish them.
Honestly, at this point, if DOJ is investigating you, its more likely you're doing something RIGHT than WRONG.
January 12, 2026 at 4:07 AM
Honestly, at this point, if DOJ is investigating you, its more likely you're doing something RIGHT than WRONG.
I don't watch movies much so I thought "Sinners" was a documentary on today's GOP.
January 12, 2026 at 3:24 AM
I don't watch movies much so I thought "Sinners" was a documentary on today's GOP.
How about a Newsom / Powell ticket in 2028?
Jerome Powell has more decency, courage, and love of country in his right pinky finger than can be found in the entirety of every single member of my former political party.
Video message from Federal Reserve Chair Jerome H. Powell:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=KckG...
www.federalreserve.gov/newsevents/s...
www.youtube.com/watch?v=KckG...
www.federalreserve.gov/newsevents/s...
January 12, 2026 at 2:58 AM
How about a Newsom / Powell ticket in 2028?
From now until Tom "money bags" Homan dies, every interviewer is obligated to ask about the $50K at the beginning of the interview.
WELKER: Where is that $50,000? Did you keep it?
HOMAN: I didn't take $50k from anybody & that's a question for the FBI. Bottom line I did nothing illegal.
WELKER: But was there $50k in the bag?
HOMAN: I'm not addressing it
WELKER: But did you keep the money?
HOMAN: $50k is ridiculous
HOMAN: I didn't take $50k from anybody & that's a question for the FBI. Bottom line I did nothing illegal.
WELKER: But was there $50k in the bag?
HOMAN: I'm not addressing it
WELKER: But did you keep the money?
HOMAN: $50k is ridiculous
January 12, 2026 at 2:50 AM
From now until Tom "money bags" Homan dies, every interviewer is obligated to ask about the $50K at the beginning of the interview.
JD Vance: "Did she even say THANK YOU to the ICE stormtrooper that shot her???"
Do Vance and DHS think we can't actually watch the video?
January 10, 2026 at 8:26 PM
JD Vance: "Did she even say THANK YOU to the ICE stormtrooper that shot her???"
So if the US is going to somehow take Greenland, under what legal justification would this be? Enforcement action against some snowmen that flipped Trump off?
#Greenland #OrangeCheetoIsNuts
#Greenland #OrangeCheetoIsNuts
January 10, 2026 at 8:18 PM
So if the US is going to somehow take Greenland, under what legal justification would this be? Enforcement action against some snowmen that flipped Trump off?
#Greenland #OrangeCheetoIsNuts
#Greenland #OrangeCheetoIsNuts
BREAKING: After being misplaced for several years, the Colorado Rockies have found their password for the MLB transaction portal. #MLB #Rockies
In an unexpected move, the #Rockies have acquired OF Jake McCarthy from the Arizona Diamondbacks in exchange for prospect RHP Josh Grosz. I’ve got the details over on @purplerow.bsky.social.
Rockies acquire OF Jake McCarthy
The Rockies add outfield depth in exchange for prospect pitcher Josh Grosz.
www.purplerow.com
January 10, 2026 at 7:51 PM
Hey, did China ever start buying the US soybeans again or nah?
January 10, 2026 at 6:28 PM
Hey, did China ever start buying the US soybeans again or nah?
Good thing we have no concerns whatsoever about his morality or his mind. 😜
ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL
ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL
Asked “if there were any limits on his global powers, Mr. Trump said: “Yeah, there is one thing. My own morality. My own mind. It’s the only thing that can stop me.”
@nytimes.com
www.nytimes.com/2026/01/08/u...
@nytimes.com
www.nytimes.com/2026/01/08/u...
January 8, 2026 at 10:45 PM
Good thing we have no concerns whatsoever about his morality or his mind. 😜
ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL
ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL
If this is the case, why not have the Venezuelans sell the crude themselves?
Oh! Its because then the US can't charge a 98% service charge on the proceeds!
Oh! Its because then the US can't charge a 98% service charge on the proceeds!
Energy Secretary Chris Wright: "We're gonna sell that crude, we're gonna put it accounts, and we're gonna distribute those funds to the interim authorities in Venezuela."
January 7, 2026 at 11:30 PM
If this is the case, why not have the Venezuelans sell the crude themselves?
Oh! Its because then the US can't charge a 98% service charge on the proceeds!
Oh! Its because then the US can't charge a 98% service charge on the proceeds!
Using this logic, we should freeze ICE funding immediately due to concerns about "systemic fraud".
The Trump administration sent out letters tonight to 5 blue states, freezing about $10 billion in funding for child care and social services programs pending a "thorough review," citing concerns over "systemic fraud."
5 Democratic-run states are told that their child care funds have been frozen
The suspension of the funds could hurt low-income families in those states, depending on how long it lasts, advocates say.
www.axios.com
January 7, 2026 at 4:57 AM
Using this logic, we should freeze ICE funding immediately due to concerns about "systemic fraud".