Reposted
Annoying that the plural of oaf is oafs and not oaves.
December 29, 2025 at 11:29 PM
Annoying that the plural of oaf is oafs and not oaves.
I’m not sure what game Dock’s is inventing but it has my interest.
December 6, 2025 at 2:20 PM
I’m not sure what game Dock’s is inventing but it has my interest.
Potatoes are unpleasant but they can at least be improved upon by frying them or slathering them in some form of meat sauce. The same cannot be said for sweet potatoes which are unpleasant no matter what is done to them.
November 28, 2025 at 10:57 PM
Potatoes are unpleasant but they can at least be improved upon by frying them or slathering them in some form of meat sauce. The same cannot be said for sweet potatoes which are unpleasant no matter what is done to them.
Pizza is pie.
November 26, 2025 at 1:16 AM
Pizza is pie.
Buckaroo Bonzai Against The World Crime League
If you were a despotic president, what movie would you force Hollywood to make? I want to see Quentin's Star Trek movie or maybe Kill Bill Vol 3.
November 25, 2025 at 8:56 PM
Buckaroo Bonzai Against The World Crime League
Pharma: These are the nighttime cold pills. You take them once before going to bed.
Me: Makes sense.
Pharma: These are the daytime cold pills. You take them a few times during the day.
Me: Got it.
Pharma: We give you the same amount of each in a box.
Me: Wait…
Me: Makes sense.
Pharma: These are the daytime cold pills. You take them a few times during the day.
Me: Got it.
Pharma: We give you the same amount of each in a box.
Me: Wait…
November 24, 2025 at 12:36 AM
Pharma: These are the nighttime cold pills. You take them once before going to bed.
Me: Makes sense.
Pharma: These are the daytime cold pills. You take them a few times during the day.
Me: Got it.
Pharma: We give you the same amount of each in a box.
Me: Wait…
Me: Makes sense.
Pharma: These are the daytime cold pills. You take them a few times during the day.
Me: Got it.
Pharma: We give you the same amount of each in a box.
Me: Wait…
USMNT has to do with soccer/football and has nothing to do with mutants, ninjas, or turtles.
November 17, 2025 at 1:18 PM
USMNT has to do with soccer/football and has nothing to do with mutants, ninjas, or turtles.
Flu vaccine clinics at work are good. Clinics where you can check off boxes to get additional shots at the same time; extra good. Being sleepy from vaccines on work time instead of free time; double plus good.
November 5, 2025 at 5:02 PM
Flu vaccine clinics at work are good. Clinics where you can check off boxes to get additional shots at the same time; extra good. Being sleepy from vaccines on work time instead of free time; double plus good.
Will Bored Ape NFTs increase in value due to plague monkey release, or will they further devalue out of fear of monkey herpes?
October 29, 2025 at 5:39 PM
Will Bored Ape NFTs increase in value due to plague monkey release, or will they further devalue out of fear of monkey herpes?
Be Not Afraid
b̶̗̠̤̙̺̰̙͇͆̀̒̍̀̂́̕ả̶̡̛̛̛̛͎͔̟̯̤͑̈͐̌̈́̄̓͆̓͛̎͌͛͋͑̆̇̄͐͋̋͊̓̋̊͐̍͗̓͒̆̊̓̂͆̀̾̇̑̈́́͊̾̚͘͘̚̕͝͝͠s̷̢̢̢̧̡̝͖̮͉̰̯̫̮̪̳̲͕̯̟͉̮͚̙͚͓͕̫̣̦͔͓̺̫̻̤̲͆͒̾͂͌̐̑͊̈́͒͛̆̊̍̌͛̇̇̍̾͗̎͐͑̆͒̓̀́̏͊̓̈́͋̓̐͂͘͜͝͝͠͝͝e̴̡̡̡̘̲̺̥͎̥̭͙̲̪̱͔̞͔̠͖̞̞̦̱͉̤̭̼̗͖̥͕͕͙̦̹̠͙͓̤̰͎̼̱̪̹͉̱̞͉̯̠̜͎͙̗͖̣͒̊̒̌͒͗̓̀͗͒͐̽̈̔̑̆͑͑̆̀̀̒̉̿̕̕͜͜͜ͅͅb̷̧̡̪̺̯̱͍͚̻͕̗̬͓̞̈́̈́̽̋̑̈́͒̓́̒̓̇̀̾̕͝a̶̧̢̦͕̗͔͓͙̦̜̬̯̟͉̪̱̮̲͍̻̹͓͍̪̦̥͎̩̫͉͈͙̰̹̞̯̭͔̩̹͛̅͗̑̂̋̍͌͒́̈̆̚͜ͅͅḻ̵̢̢̧̢̨̧̟̗̖̰͇̦̺͕̫̖͈͎͈̪̺̗͚̖̱͎̞͚̥͇̺̱̜͛̃̀̂̾̆̈͝ͅļ̴̧̨̬͔̱͎̳̬͉̘̝̻̹͔͓͍͈̙̣̳̝̗͙͉̬̭̦̗̥̜̠̘̯̯͖̜̠̦̱̰̱̮̤̣̥̼̯̞̉
October 28, 2025 at 1:10 PM
Be Not Afraid
Me: Ahh, a restful day where I don’t have to bike to work.
Exercise App: Hope you like squats, bitch.
Exercise App: Hope you like squats, bitch.
October 9, 2025 at 5:45 PM
Me: Ahh, a restful day where I don’t have to bike to work.
Exercise App: Hope you like squats, bitch.
Exercise App: Hope you like squats, bitch.
Being knocked unconscious and violated with probes may be the most I have ever done to skip out on a day of work.
September 24, 2025 at 12:29 PM
Being knocked unconscious and violated with probes may be the most I have ever done to skip out on a day of work.
Ah, and the first email about a student being hit by a car comes through. Awesome.
September 9, 2025 at 7:29 PM
Ah, and the first email about a student being hit by a car comes through. Awesome.
I want today to end but I don’t want tomorrow to begin and I can’t reconcile these thoughts
September 7, 2025 at 8:56 PM
I want today to end but I don’t want tomorrow to begin and I can’t reconcile these thoughts
Oh dear, voir dire
September 5, 2025 at 3:18 PM
Oh dear, voir dire
They Are Giants
Foo Destroyers
i am done slightly diminishing bands. we must increase bands. the mountain range goats
August 14, 2025 at 1:48 PM
They Are Giants
Reposted
Ladies and gentlemen, an announcement…
August 10, 2025 at 6:22 PM
Ladies and gentlemen, an announcement…
Reposted
those damned outdoor pigs can't keep getting away with this
August 8, 2025 at 11:10 AM
those damned outdoor pigs can't keep getting away with this
The idea of strip Hot Ones popped into my head- lose a piece of clothing whenever you need a drink. Then I realized the only person I’d want to play with is my wife which would result in her fully clothed while I’m naked and crying. Why go through the extra steps if the result is a normal Saturday?
a woman is sitting at a table with bottles of hot sauce and a pitcher of water
ALT: a woman is sitting at a table with bottles of hot sauce and a pitcher of water
media.tenor.com
August 1, 2025 at 3:47 PM
The idea of strip Hot Ones popped into my head- lose a piece of clothing whenever you need a drink. Then I realized the only person I’d want to play with is my wife which would result in her fully clothed while I’m naked and crying. Why go through the extra steps if the result is a normal Saturday?
Doocy over here trying to make the left sound awesome
DOOCY: Do you think there's a national threat of a left-wing militia that is targeting ICE and CBP?
TRUMP: I think you have some very stupid on the left who have some money who are making it available to these people ... if anything was to happen, they'd be the first ones hit.
TRUMP: I think you have some very stupid on the left who have some money who are making it available to these people ... if anything was to happen, they'd be the first ones hit.
July 9, 2025 at 6:16 PM
Doocy over here trying to make the left sound awesome
@heldermira.bsky.social - just spent the last 4 minutes playing John Williams’ Superman theme as my five year old held a Superman figure in front of a fan to simulate flying. Thought you’d approve.
July 5, 2025 at 11:11 PM
@heldermira.bsky.social - just spent the last 4 minutes playing John Williams’ Superman theme as my five year old held a Superman figure in front of a fan to simulate flying. Thought you’d approve.
Much better than my “Little Unseasoned Dry Chicken Breast” moniker
My favorite tidbit about Zohran Mamdani is the spicy names he used as a rapper.
June 25, 2025 at 1:13 PM
Much better than my “Little Unseasoned Dry Chicken Breast” moniker
“Except my soul.”
Marco Rubio on Iran's nuclear capabilities: "Anything in the world can be rebuilt."
June 25, 2025 at 1:09 PM
“Except my soul.”