no offends if this is you but if you're thinking "this is going to make the right do fascism" they're already there. they blew up a boat with 11 people on it for being immigrants. they're kidnapping US citizens and trying to rendition them to Uganda. do you think we're on a trajectory to peace

i gotta focus. i'm shifting into texas peach season

I know posting "the girls are fighting" seems funny, but it's actually insensitive and shitty.

My father died in a girl fight. He tried to break it up and the girls pulled him apart like freshly baked bread. He didn't even scream. One moment he was there, the next just a spray of dad viscera.

I love having small kids because I can be like guess what hot dogs for dinner and they’re all YES BEST MOM MICHELIN STAR MOM

Real talk, none of y'all are good enough drivers to text while you're doing it

Put that shit down

Sorry I didn't riff on your riff, I was feeling jocular when I posted but despondent seventy seconds later

they should invent a weekend that is restful