The Cringerbread Man
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scottopotamus.bsky.social
The Cringerbread Man
@scottopotamus.bsky.social
1K followers 1.5K following 1.9K posts
Originally from bird land. Multiply neurodivergent haver of chronic pain. He/Him.
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scottopotamus.bsky.social
My nephew decorated this Christmas cookie. The eyes are for intimidation.
Xmas tree shaped sugar cookie with sprinkles and two eyes near the top
December 19, 2025 at 12:42 AM
scottopotamus.bsky.social
If you see this, repost with your model of positive masculinity.
Ted Lasso holding a soccer ball in his right hand and waving with his left hand.
December 6, 2025 at 3:19 AM
scottopotamus.bsky.social
Here’s a blast from the fuckin’ past. This was bundled with my Acer Aspire in 1995.
A CD-ROM from the late 1900s. It’s green and it has the title Are You Afraid of the Dark.
November 26, 2025 at 7:47 PM
scottopotamus.bsky.social
I’ve been put in charge of holding this dog. A couple years ago she ate her own tail; who knows what else she’s capable of. I’m afraid.
A black and tan dog with an overbite. Not pictured: missing tail.
November 25, 2025 at 1:38 AM
scottopotamus.bsky.social
This cloud looks like it has really good self esteem.
Snapshot of some big, pillowy clouds. Also pictured: aerial power lines and a green tree near the bottom.
November 20, 2025 at 7:16 PM
scottopotamus.bsky.social
I misread this as a fight with a printer which would be much more relatable.
A cartoon of 2 people sweeping up a red heart, largely cleft in twain and additionally shattered around the edges. Underneath, the text "How to repair after a fight with your partner" with the LIFE KIT logo on the bottom right. Oh yeah, the people have push brooms!
November 18, 2025 at 4:11 AM
scottopotamus.bsky.social
I found this disturbing new angle of the UN/escalator incident. I can't believe it, but I think DJT has a point. It's a wonder Melania is even alive! (TW: foul play)
i.pinimg.com/originals/b5...
Paint can scene from Home Alone
September 27, 2025 at 3:06 PM
scottopotamus.bsky.social
My brother used to work at Cracker Barrel. Apparently, this shit happened all the time.
A bumper sticker sold by Cracker Barrel. It's goldenrod yellow with the picture of the guy leaning on the barrel on the right third. On the left two thirds, the text reads "My wife left me after I sat on my gun weird and blew my entire dick and balls off at Cracker Barrel." They don't just put these on the racks next to the Bill O'Reilly audiobooks. You have to ask at the counter. If they say they don't carry it, they're lying.
September 27, 2025 at 1:00 PM
scottopotamus.bsky.social
My sister in law is an OBGYN and pretty hilarious. She just put this on her FB.
POV of an edamame pod held in a person's right hand with the little beany bit poking out the end. It either looks kinda like a baby emerging from a vagina or a clitoris doin' its man-in-boat thing.
August 19, 2025 at 4:11 AM
scottopotamus.bsky.social
My sleepy widdle dog
A tiny, sleepy, tan chihuahua in bed with his tiny head poking out from under a big blanket.
July 24, 2025 at 8:38 PM
scottopotamus.bsky.social
Any of my Phoenix peeps wanna meet at the USS Arizona Memorial Garden for a wicked make out sesh? Half joking.
An overhead view of what I’m pretty sure is the USS Arizona Memorial Garden. Pillars of light extending from a pond, vaguely in the shape of a ship.
July 8, 2025 at 4:51 AM
scottopotamus.bsky.social
Non sequitur of the day from my mother. I'm afraid to ask anything else.
Text conversation from my mom Mom: I got hit by a bicyclist who was drinking a beer. Things are so tense here. Me: Are You OK? Mom: Yep. Hit my wrist. Me: Does it hurt? Mom: No. Me: That's good. Mom: Yep.
May 9, 2025 at 12:54 AM
scottopotamus.bsky.social
40 plus Bluesky, tap in with a pic
An adolescent reticulated giraffe
April 26, 2025 at 1:08 AM
scottopotamus.bsky.social
I’m not the only person to have first learned about Greenland from watching this little guy, right?
Seabert, a white cartoon seal. He’s wearing a medal and winking while gesturing with his little flipper.
January 10, 2025 at 3:29 AM
scottopotamus.bsky.social
This is probably my greatest accomplishment to date
A screenshot of my 900 day streak on Duolingo.
December 18, 2024 at 11:18 PM
scottopotamus.bsky.social
Took my 2.5yo nephew to a thing where he could decorate cookies. His cookie looks like Krang.
A round sugar cookie with white icing, multicolor sprinkles, and 2 low-set candy eyes.
December 12, 2024 at 2:30 AM
scottopotamus.bsky.social
The black-throated bushtit looks just like Jack Nicholson’s Joker.
A photo of a red, white, and blue bird over a green background. The bird has an intense gaze and a black spot under its beak shaped like a clownish smile. The bird has little feetsies hanging on to a tiny branch.
November 19, 2024 at 4:48 AM
scottopotamus.bsky.social
If you see this, quote post something green from a photo you took.
A baby elephant nursing from her mother. The mother is gigantic and she has her ears spread. The bb is adorable.
October 27, 2024 at 5:11 PM
scottopotamus.bsky.social
Facebook’s new augmented reality glasses: not sure how they work but at least they don’t make you look doofy.
A man wearing a black bangle and glasses that have a not subtle difference in tint between the two lenses.
September 26, 2024 at 2:02 AM
scottopotamus.bsky.social
Remember: when I’m mean to you, this is who’s being mean to you.
A shiny baby Pygmy hippo biting something.
September 26, 2024 at 1:36 AM
scottopotamus.bsky.social
These are a woke conspiracy to catch people not using alt text.
This is some sort of certificate or whatever saying that I'm the seven hundred and thirty-two thousand and forty-eighth person on Bluesky. There's a blue faux stamp saying "elder certified, first 10%. Additionally, my display name "Duck Rubbery: British Minister of Bath Toys" with @scottopotamus.bsky.social is shown. This has to be some sort of trap for people who don't use alt text.
September 16, 2024 at 10:50 PM
scottopotamus.bsky.social
If you see this, quote post with a famous landmark you’ve seen.
A panoramic view of what I think is the artificial ocean in Biosphere 2. There is a glass and steel geodesic structure above a lagoon thing.
September 13, 2024 at 6:33 PM
scottopotamus.bsky.social
A sign that says “WARNING THIS STRUCTURE IS UNSAFE FOR USE DURING LIGHTNING STORMS SEEK SUITABLE SHELTER ELSEWHERE” #WARNING
August 22, 2024 at 2:01 AM
scottopotamus.bsky.social
Just started binging Sesame Street from the beginning and I can’t deal with season 1 Big Bird.

i.redd.it/hupoy098e8na...
The top of an 8-foot yellow bird. Its eyes are barely open and it looks sad.
August 8, 2024 at 3:36 AM
scottopotamus.bsky.social
Is this serving "Kunt" in a god honoring way?
scontent-lax3-2.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t39.30808-...
A fundraiser order sheet for "Amish Kuntry Fried Pies." The rest is immaterial.
July 26, 2024 at 5:46 PM