hi im parker i like playing outside and i have a little beagle named cicada. any transgenders wanna be friends with me #please hit my line

🗣 Alexa, order another W

#OnePride

i spent my college years rowing day in and out, so naturally i have a specific crew-related injury that only affects my ability to row. nothing else. as a rower, this is the best injury to have (rowing sucks). it is also the worst (rowing is the only thing that feels good)

doc finally cleared me to lift weights, 6 weeks after top surgery. i am so excited to get insanely ripped

grateful

another woman is dead because doctors refused to give her standard medical care AFTER SHE ALREADY MISCARRIED. abortion bans are killing women even if they don’t need one. porsha ngumezi should be alive.

i want chappell roan to sing hot to go with the muppets and i want her to be miss piggy's first lesbian kiss. i will execute one hostage every hour until these demands are met

🔟 spot

we got a bigger bed so our dog would take up less of it. but it was futile — he has adapted, finding ways to make himself larger and longer in the night

Before you say something mean about Henry Kissinger, take a breath and see if you can think of something meaner

what are the names of your pets and what do you actually call them…. my boys are legally tomato and kroger but we call them princess babo and prince gobie

tomato and kroger cat!!!!