Court Ordered Best Friend
@scratch-heck.bsky.social
Stephen Anson. Evan Manson.
Reposted by Court Ordered Best Friend
My New Year’s resolution is definitely for a healthy new year, but a very close 2nd to that is to never hear the “We are Charlie Kirk” song ever again.
December 9, 2025 at 2:58 AM
My New Year’s resolution is definitely for a healthy new year, but a very close 2nd to that is to never hear the “We are Charlie Kirk” song ever again.
My day today:
Drops car off for a tire change.
“You should change out your brake fluid”
sure why not.
“Your battery needs to be replaced” okay, it’s been 5 years. Makes sense.
“You have 1 mm of depth on your brake pads”
eff.
“Your brake caliper broke”
god damn it.
“That’ll be $1400”
Drops car off for a tire change.
“You should change out your brake fluid”
sure why not.
“Your battery needs to be replaced” okay, it’s been 5 years. Makes sense.
“You have 1 mm of depth on your brake pads”
eff.
“Your brake caliper broke”
god damn it.
“That’ll be $1400”
December 8, 2025 at 11:38 PM
My day today:
Drops car off for a tire change.
“You should change out your brake fluid”
sure why not.
“Your battery needs to be replaced” okay, it’s been 5 years. Makes sense.
“You have 1 mm of depth on your brake pads”
eff.
“Your brake caliper broke”
god damn it.
“That’ll be $1400”
Drops car off for a tire change.
“You should change out your brake fluid”
sure why not.
“Your battery needs to be replaced” okay, it’s been 5 years. Makes sense.
“You have 1 mm of depth on your brake pads”
eff.
“Your brake caliper broke”
god damn it.
“That’ll be $1400”
Reposted by Court Ordered Best Friend
Reposted by Court Ordered Best Friend
Cyber Monday*
*latest fad
*latest fad
December 1, 2025 at 10:30 PM
Cyber Monday*
*latest fad
*latest fad
Danny and I went to the Aglow event at the botanical gardens. It was better than the first time we went which was during a torrential downpour, but I did see a grown man drop his sweat pants to the ground and shake his furry ass while using the urinal. Gonna dock some points for that. 4.5/5 🍤
November 30, 2025 at 2:08 AM
Danny and I went to the Aglow event at the botanical gardens. It was better than the first time we went which was during a torrential downpour, but I did see a grown man drop his sweat pants to the ground and shake his furry ass while using the urinal. Gonna dock some points for that. 4.5/5 🍤
Danny won this Redsox blanket at her union local cook off, and Winnifred loves it.
November 26, 2025 at 3:23 AM
Danny won this Redsox blanket at her union local cook off, and Winnifred loves it.
I told Danny Martin Scorsese is actually a pen name Adam Sandler. He uses the name to put out prestige blockbusters just to fund his real passion projects like Billy Madison and Hubie Halloween, but I don’t think she’s buying it. I even said “one for you. One for me” in the Sandman’s baby voice.
November 24, 2025 at 2:58 AM
I told Danny Martin Scorsese is actually a pen name Adam Sandler. He uses the name to put out prestige blockbusters just to fund his real passion projects like Billy Madison and Hubie Halloween, but I don’t think she’s buying it. I even said “one for you. One for me” in the Sandman’s baby voice.
www.newsweek.com/fact-check-m...
It’s either a great troll or yet another sad snap shot of this incredibly stupid moment in history. Hey, Why not both?
It’s either a great troll or yet another sad snap shot of this incredibly stupid moment in history. Hey, Why not both?
Fact check: Is Mamdani introducing Arabic numerals to New York schools?
Arabic numerals are simply the digits 0 through 9—the standard number symbols used in every classroom in the United States.
www.newsweek.com
November 21, 2025 at 1:53 AM
www.newsweek.com/fact-check-m...
It’s either a great troll or yet another sad snap shot of this incredibly stupid moment in history. Hey, Why not both?
It’s either a great troll or yet another sad snap shot of this incredibly stupid moment in history. Hey, Why not both?
Reposted by Court Ordered Best Friend
Seeing someone call for a reissue of Fitz of Depression records is the GOOD kind of shocking news I’d like to see on this site for a change
Obscure ’90s music is all over the algorithm these days, and yet countless bands fall through the cracks. Here's a list of artists in serious need of reissues.
Bands Left Behind By Streaming
Reissue these bands, please.
daily.bandcamp.com
November 18, 2025 at 8:43 PM
Seeing someone call for a reissue of Fitz of Depression records is the GOOD kind of shocking news I’d like to see on this site for a change
I’m bummed G&L went out of business. I think musicman stingrays are the closest comparison to the G&L bass, but I find there’s this tacky upper mids sound that’s very unappealing and impossible to tame with the tone knob without making the tone too dark. Hope I don’t lose or break my three G&Ls.
November 20, 2025 at 3:22 AM
I’m bummed G&L went out of business. I think musicman stingrays are the closest comparison to the G&L bass, but I find there’s this tacky upper mids sound that’s very unappealing and impossible to tame with the tone knob without making the tone too dark. Hope I don’t lose or break my three G&Ls.
It’s probably pointless to share this with anyone that has not been on r/jazzcirclejerk, but this post lives rent free in my head and I love that.
November 19, 2025 at 3:40 AM
It’s probably pointless to share this with anyone that has not been on r/jazzcirclejerk, but this post lives rent free in my head and I love that.
Reposted by Court Ordered Best Friend
Trump Still Polling Well With Working-Class American Pedophiles https://theonion.com/trump-still-polling-well-with-working-class-american-pedophiles/
November 12, 2025 at 7:00 PM
Trump Still Polling Well With Working-Class American Pedophiles https://theonion.com/trump-still-polling-well-with-working-class-american-pedophiles/
Halloween band idea: Fleetwood Gak. Fleetwood Mac songs about 90’s era Nickelodeon shows. Everyone gets slimed.
November 6, 2025 at 1:25 AM
Halloween band idea: Fleetwood Gak. Fleetwood Mac songs about 90’s era Nickelodeon shows. Everyone gets slimed.
I got my heater cleaned yesterday. I was sitting in my living room, which is right over my heater and just hear whispered shock and disgust about my heater while “pink pony club” played on their Bluetooth speaker as they work. they wrapped up and were like “it looks great. 96% efficiency”
November 5, 2025 at 3:11 AM
I got my heater cleaned yesterday. I was sitting in my living room, which is right over my heater and just hear whispered shock and disgust about my heater while “pink pony club” played on their Bluetooth speaker as they work. they wrapped up and were like “it looks great. 96% efficiency”
Be there for your friends. otherwise they’ll get a new friend that’s kinda like you, but better, and then together they will refer to you as the Temu version of the new friend.
November 1, 2025 at 1:23 AM
Be there for your friends. otherwise they’ll get a new friend that’s kinda like you, but better, and then together they will refer to you as the Temu version of the new friend.
onlystans.bandcamp.com/album/2uality
Going 2 Hell did an album release show for this record in February, and now, in October, the record is done and on bandcamp.
Going 2 Hell did an album release show for this record in February, and now, in October, the record is done and on bandcamp.
2uality, by Going 2 Hell
10 track album
onlystans.bandcamp.com
October 31, 2025 at 3:43 AM
onlystans.bandcamp.com/album/2uality
Going 2 Hell did an album release show for this record in February, and now, in October, the record is done and on bandcamp.
Going 2 Hell did an album release show for this record in February, and now, in October, the record is done and on bandcamp.
Reposted by Court Ordered Best Friend
Perfect morning for coffee…but when isn’t it lol!
October 28, 2025 at 10:34 AM
Perfect morning for coffee…but when isn’t it lol!
I’m shocked there hasn’t been a harsh noise band / metal band called Scrotal Sacrilege yet.
October 28, 2025 at 3:43 AM
I’m shocked there hasn’t been a harsh noise band / metal band called Scrotal Sacrilege yet.
Last night, I explained Tren / being geared and called it “Gym Goblin talk for steroids”. Then had a sudden realization that Jim Goblin would be an amazing name for a public official.
“I’m Jim Goblin, and I’m running for US Senate”
“I’m Jim Goblin, and I’m running for US Senate”
October 28, 2025 at 3:35 AM
Last night, I explained Tren / being geared and called it “Gym Goblin talk for steroids”. Then had a sudden realization that Jim Goblin would be an amazing name for a public official.
“I’m Jim Goblin, and I’m running for US Senate”
“I’m Jim Goblin, and I’m running for US Senate”
My wife made some “Witch Finger” sugar cookies. It’s tubular sugar cookies with an almond for the finger nail. She also tucked some pretzel sticks inside so you get a snap when you bite. They’re good, but the pretzel snap just makes shudder. Broken finger PTSD I guess.
October 20, 2025 at 1:58 AM
My wife made some “Witch Finger” sugar cookies. It’s tubular sugar cookies with an almond for the finger nail. She also tucked some pretzel sticks inside so you get a snap when you bite. They’re good, but the pretzel snap just makes shudder. Broken finger PTSD I guess.
I had my annual checkup today and the nurse and my doctor both offered me a hep B vaccine and a flu shot in the same way that someone offers you weed at a party.
October 18, 2025 at 2:19 AM
I had my annual checkup today and the nurse and my doctor both offered me a hep B vaccine and a flu shot in the same way that someone offers you weed at a party.
Little game you can play with yourself this Halloween. Replace ghost with “dead guy”.
-Dead guy busters
-Casper: the friendly dead guy
-The dead guy of Paul Revere
-The dead guy of Christmas Present
-Dead Guy (romance movie with Patrick swayze and Demi Moore)
-Dead guy busters
-Casper: the friendly dead guy
-The dead guy of Paul Revere
-The dead guy of Christmas Present
-Dead Guy (romance movie with Patrick swayze and Demi Moore)
October 11, 2025 at 1:44 PM
Little game you can play with yourself this Halloween. Replace ghost with “dead guy”.
-Dead guy busters
-Casper: the friendly dead guy
-The dead guy of Paul Revere
-The dead guy of Christmas Present
-Dead Guy (romance movie with Patrick swayze and Demi Moore)
-Dead guy busters
-Casper: the friendly dead guy
-The dead guy of Paul Revere
-The dead guy of Christmas Present
-Dead Guy (romance movie with Patrick swayze and Demi Moore)
I want to make a musical Where’s Waldo project where every song has a single push/pull record scratch somewhere in the mix.
October 6, 2025 at 3:38 PM
I want to make a musical Where’s Waldo project where every song has a single push/pull record scratch somewhere in the mix.
It’s become our band’s love language
October 4, 2025 at 3:00 AM
It’s become our band’s love language