Offbrand Ken From B*rbie
@sdrockcab.bsky.social
Minneapolis. Your friendly local goth cowboy, now shitposting in the classic Twitter flavor and a brand new bluesky flavor
tw: fully clothed lewd
I've went my whole life with people saying I have no ass, so I've been trying to find pants to prove that wrong. My issue is everytime I find a pair that does *THIS* for my ass but they're unflattering in pretty much the entire rest of the fit 😅
I've went my whole life with people saying I have no ass, so I've been trying to find pants to prove that wrong. My issue is everytime I find a pair that does *THIS* for my ass but they're unflattering in pretty much the entire rest of the fit 😅
December 1, 2025 at 11:31 PM
tw: fully clothed lewd
I've went my whole life with people saying I have no ass, so I've been trying to find pants to prove that wrong. My issue is everytime I find a pair that does *THIS* for my ass but they're unflattering in pretty much the entire rest of the fit 😅
I've went my whole life with people saying I have no ass, so I've been trying to find pants to prove that wrong. My issue is everytime I find a pair that does *THIS* for my ass but they're unflattering in pretty much the entire rest of the fit 😅
I *think* this is going to be the final version of my "I biked here" map by the end of 2025. Compared to the 2023 version (everything in west metro is just from when I lived there, but I finally connected the map to the old data this year.)
November 25, 2025 at 12:16 AM
I *think* this is going to be the final version of my "I biked here" map by the end of 2025. Compared to the 2023 version (everything in west metro is just from when I lived there, but I finally connected the map to the old data this year.)
This is roughly the thought process
November 23, 2025 at 1:39 AM
This is roughly the thought process
Logan Paul is fighting someone again. Middle space crossed off. No new bingos.
November 18, 2025 at 9:04 PM
Logan Paul is fighting someone again. Middle space crossed off. No new bingos.
5'9, 130, and always having too much fun living as a skinny binch
November 13, 2025 at 8:31 AM
5'9, 130, and always having too much fun living as a skinny binch
I think the next absolutely insane fashion choice that I need to tech into is checkered pants
November 12, 2025 at 7:23 PM
I think the next absolutely insane fashion choice that I need to tech into is checkered pants
I fear I have just discovered "higher exposure" on my phone camera. Better photos
November 12, 2025 at 3:13 AM
I fear I have just discovered "higher exposure" on my phone camera. Better photos
Aurora borealis?! At this time of year, in this part of the country, localized entirely within [the skies above my backyard]?!
Yes!
...may I see it?
Yes!
Yes!
...may I see it?
Yes!
November 12, 2025 at 2:55 AM
Aurora borealis?! At this time of year, in this part of the country, localized entirely within [the skies above my backyard]?!
Yes!
...may I see it?
Yes!
Yes!
...may I see it?
Yes!
Whatup anyone wanna buy an Atari 5200 that actually works
November 11, 2025 at 7:18 PM
Whatup anyone wanna buy an Atari 5200 that actually works
Recently used golden oysters in butter in a Alfredo pasta and it was the best dish I've made in years
November 11, 2025 at 12:30 AM
Recently used golden oysters in butter in a Alfredo pasta and it was the best dish I've made in years
And they call themselves a FREE COUNTRY
November 3, 2025 at 5:31 PM
And they call themselves a FREE COUNTRY
Fucking this one. Wouldve been great but will irrelevant by next year
November 1, 2025 at 9:02 PM
Fucking this one. Wouldve been great but will irrelevant by next year
Had no costume for tonight's party. So just wore all black and grabbed a Darth Vader helmet. Going as "Dar-iscount Vader"
October 25, 2025 at 11:00 PM
Had no costume for tonight's party. So just wore all black and grabbed a Darth Vader helmet. Going as "Dar-iscount Vader"
Absolutely fucking amazing shit happening on facebook marketplace this weekend
October 25, 2025 at 4:37 PM
Absolutely fucking amazing shit happening on facebook marketplace this weekend
I feel bad for people with REAL JOBS-- you're at WORK and I'm at home watching a guy on runescape attempt to eat half a million trout
October 23, 2025 at 4:52 PM
I feel bad for people with REAL JOBS-- you're at WORK and I'm at home watching a guy on runescape attempt to eat half a million trout
Its been like 3 years and I still cant get over how fucking funny it is that there is a Carly Rae Jepsen album with an explicit warning on it
Girl literally drops a fuck 20 seconds into the album and thats it
Girl literally drops a fuck 20 seconds into the album and thats it
October 8, 2025 at 6:40 PM
Its been like 3 years and I still cant get over how fucking funny it is that there is a Carly Rae Jepsen album with an explicit warning on it
Girl literally drops a fuck 20 seconds into the album and thats it
Girl literally drops a fuck 20 seconds into the album and thats it
Annie and I both killed our respective races today. She qualified for the Boston Marathon by 4 seconds!! Super proud of her
I also knocked 2 minutes off my 10 mile PR and nonstop passed people the entire race-- starting in the very back of the last corral (~9500th), and finishing around 3,000th
I also knocked 2 minutes off my 10 mile PR and nonstop passed people the entire race-- starting in the very back of the last corral (~9500th), and finishing around 3,000th
October 6, 2025 at 12:11 AM
Annie and I both killed our respective races today. She qualified for the Boston Marathon by 4 seconds!! Super proud of her
I also knocked 2 minutes off my 10 mile PR and nonstop passed people the entire race-- starting in the very back of the last corral (~9500th), and finishing around 3,000th
I also knocked 2 minutes off my 10 mile PR and nonstop passed people the entire race-- starting in the very back of the last corral (~9500th), and finishing around 3,000th
Not that anybody probably cares about my scores in a 20 year old game, but after literal years of trying I am now one of the like < 500 people who in the history of Audiosurf have ever legitimately cracked 1,000,000 points in a single run.
If only I had been good when this game was relevant lol
If only I had been good when this game was relevant lol
October 5, 2025 at 2:01 AM
Not that anybody probably cares about my scores in a 20 year old game, but after literal years of trying I am now one of the like < 500 people who in the history of Audiosurf have ever legitimately cracked 1,000,000 points in a single run.
If only I had been good when this game was relevant lol
If only I had been good when this game was relevant lol
Hey no reason throw back to that time I ran a marathon in under 6 hours on 2 weeks of training solely because Annie said I couldnt do that because it was impossible
Anyway see you bitches at the finish line of the Twin Cities 10 mile this weekend lmaoaoaoa (I once again wont be seriously training)
Anyway see you bitches at the finish line of the Twin Cities 10 mile this weekend lmaoaoaoa (I once again wont be seriously training)
September 28, 2025 at 6:17 PM
Hey no reason throw back to that time I ran a marathon in under 6 hours on 2 weeks of training solely because Annie said I couldnt do that because it was impossible
Anyway see you bitches at the finish line of the Twin Cities 10 mile this weekend lmaoaoaoa (I once again wont be seriously training)
Anyway see you bitches at the finish line of the Twin Cities 10 mile this weekend lmaoaoaoa (I once again wont be seriously training)
Okie dokie...
"silly new queer panic": Republicans blaming trans people for the majority of gun violence this past month is the dumbest fucking thing I have ever heard and is not supported by data. Done.
Tswift: Trump is still railing on her. She hasnt replied so I only half marked it off
"silly new queer panic": Republicans blaming trans people for the majority of gun violence this past month is the dumbest fucking thing I have ever heard and is not supported by data. Done.
Tswift: Trump is still railing on her. She hasnt replied so I only half marked it off
September 28, 2025 at 5:57 PM
Okie dokie...
"silly new queer panic": Republicans blaming trans people for the majority of gun violence this past month is the dumbest fucking thing I have ever heard and is not supported by data. Done.
Tswift: Trump is still railing on her. She hasnt replied so I only half marked it off
"silly new queer panic": Republicans blaming trans people for the majority of gun violence this past month is the dumbest fucking thing I have ever heard and is not supported by data. Done.
Tswift: Trump is still railing on her. She hasnt replied so I only half marked it off
It's a biiit of a downgrade from the Minneapolis Cargo Bike Library rental I had the past week, but it always gets the job of "haul an absurd amount of shit home that you weren't designed for" like a fucking champ. Still the best $200 I've ever spent
September 13, 2025 at 8:50 PM
It's a biiit of a downgrade from the Minneapolis Cargo Bike Library rental I had the past week, but it always gets the job of "haul an absurd amount of shit home that you weren't designed for" like a fucking champ. Still the best $200 I've ever spent
Finally home. Here's the Strava
September 9, 2025 at 1:05 AM
Finally home. Here's the Strava
My claim to fame: I believe I was the first person to ride a @mplscargobikelibrary.com bike out of the state
September 8, 2025 at 9:14 PM
My claim to fame: I believe I was the first person to ride a @mplscargobikelibrary.com bike out of the state
Finally got around to watching the episode of pawn stars I was an extra on last year lol. I got a great background scene
September 7, 2025 at 8:22 PM
Finally got around to watching the episode of pawn stars I was an extra on last year lol. I got a great background scene
This has been me everyday since the new Sabrina album dropped
September 5, 2025 at 9:00 PM
This has been me everyday since the new Sabrina album dropped