Offbrand Ken From B*rbie
@sdrockcab.bsky.social
Minneapolis. Your friendly local goth cowboy, now shitposting in the classic Twitter flavor and a brand new bluesky flavor
know what i hate about being 30
I called like probably a third of the people in my phone. But because its not days in advance no one wants to do anything
If I were stull 20 Id have 4 people over playing mario kart already long as i provided the liquor (given)
I called like probably a third of the people in my phone. But because its not days in advance no one wants to do anything
If I were stull 20 Id have 4 people over playing mario kart already long as i provided the liquor (given)
December 4, 2025 at 12:48 AM
know what i hate about being 30
I called like probably a third of the people in my phone. But because its not days in advance no one wants to do anything
If I were stull 20 Id have 4 people over playing mario kart already long as i provided the liquor (given)
I called like probably a third of the people in my phone. But because its not days in advance no one wants to do anything
If I were stull 20 Id have 4 people over playing mario kart already long as i provided the liquor (given)
Shit. Am I going to be sober enough for the vastly more important part of my day: not fucking up t the giants foundry in runescape as soon as Im done with this shit
One of the rare days Im starting top enjoy applying forjobs because everytime i get frustrated i take a shot and in about 5 minutes Ill have drank enough that this will be funny rather than maddening
December 3, 2025 at 11:43 PM
Shit. Am I going to be sober enough for the vastly more important part of my day: not fucking up t the giants foundry in runescape as soon as Im done with this shit
One of the rare days Im starting top enjoy applying forjobs because everytime i get frustrated i take a shot and in about 5 minutes Ill have drank enough that this will be funny rather than maddening
December 3, 2025 at 11:39 PM
One of the rare days Im starting top enjoy applying forjobs because everytime i get frustrated i take a shot and in about 5 minutes Ill have drank enough that this will be funny rather than maddening
I spent what wouldve been my prime man slut years in a relationship and Im mad about it
December 3, 2025 at 11:16 PM
I spent what wouldve been my prime man slut years in a relationship and Im mad about it
The answer to this one for reaching me is message me on the obscure MMO I always have running in the background as that's the only thing I allow to send notifications or ping
December 3, 2025 at 11:12 PM
The answer to this one for reaching me is message me on the obscure MMO I always have running in the background as that's the only thing I allow to send notifications or ping
"Gal I made out with one time years ago who started college the same year I did getting her PhD from a prestigious university and doing shit with her life" was not what I thought would trigger the "god damn it I really fucked up my life" thoughts early today but here we are
December 3, 2025 at 11:02 PM
"Gal I made out with one time years ago who started college the same year I did getting her PhD from a prestigious university and doing shit with her life" was not what I thought would trigger the "god damn it I really fucked up my life" thoughts early today but here we are
Rapid firing skeets like elon is about to take over and ruin the fucking place
December 3, 2025 at 8:32 PM
Rapid firing skeets like elon is about to take over and ruin the fucking place
I've been telling myself that I should be trying to have more positive interactions online but I also got over 1000 karma dunking on people on reddit in the last 24 hours so that's how that's going
December 3, 2025 at 8:31 PM
I've been telling myself that I should be trying to have more positive interactions online but I also got over 1000 karma dunking on people on reddit in the last 24 hours so that's how that's going
I'm not going to wear a coat today because as the old saying goes, suns out guns out. It is a very sunny day and I have to show off these arm muscles (I can bench an entire 27.8375 pounds)
December 3, 2025 at 8:29 PM
I'm not going to wear a coat today because as the old saying goes, suns out guns out. It is a very sunny day and I have to show off these arm muscles (I can bench an entire 27.8375 pounds)
One of my degrees is in operations management (basically efficiency in systems aka assembly lines) and today in volunteering we had to pack like 400 bags and my idea for an assembly line was shot down
I was like "how tf do I explain Bottleneck Theory without looking like a fuckin crackpot" lmao
I was like "how tf do I explain Bottleneck Theory without looking like a fuckin crackpot" lmao
December 3, 2025 at 8:25 PM
One of my degrees is in operations management (basically efficiency in systems aka assembly lines) and today in volunteering we had to pack like 400 bags and my idea for an assembly line was shot down
I was like "how tf do I explain Bottleneck Theory without looking like a fuckin crackpot" lmao
I was like "how tf do I explain Bottleneck Theory without looking like a fuckin crackpot" lmao
Heartbreaking: this particular detail of this saga is honestly funny as fuck
Jonathan Weinhagen didn't just steal the crimestoppers reward money from murdered children, he stole $60,000 in donations intended to go to Mayor Frey's PAC, All of Mpls.
www.kare11.com/article/news...
www.kare11.com/article/news...
December 2, 2025 at 6:01 AM
Heartbreaking: this particular detail of this saga is honestly funny as fuck
Dude I had a wild bus ride today. A guy got in a fight with the bus driver so I got off and caught the next one and then that one got stuck because someone decided to just uhhhhhh park in the middle of the road
December 2, 2025 at 1:05 AM
Dude I had a wild bus ride today. A guy got in a fight with the bus driver so I got off and caught the next one and then that one got stuck because someone decided to just uhhhhhh park in the middle of the road
tw: fully clothed lewd
I've went my whole life with people saying I have no ass, so I've been trying to find pants to prove that wrong. My issue is everytime I find a pair that does *THIS* for my ass but they're unflattering in pretty much the entire rest of the fit 😅
I've went my whole life with people saying I have no ass, so I've been trying to find pants to prove that wrong. My issue is everytime I find a pair that does *THIS* for my ass but they're unflattering in pretty much the entire rest of the fit 😅
December 1, 2025 at 11:31 PM
tw: fully clothed lewd
I've went my whole life with people saying I have no ass, so I've been trying to find pants to prove that wrong. My issue is everytime I find a pair that does *THIS* for my ass but they're unflattering in pretty much the entire rest of the fit 😅
I've went my whole life with people saying I have no ass, so I've been trying to find pants to prove that wrong. My issue is everytime I find a pair that does *THIS* for my ass but they're unflattering in pretty much the entire rest of the fit 😅
Still have this and an xbox 360 if anyone is looking for gamer christmas gifts
Whatup anyone wanna buy an Atari 5200 that actually works
November 26, 2025 at 7:29 PM
Still have this and an xbox 360 if anyone is looking for gamer christmas gifts
Just like pretty much every night these days, I wish I could open my eyes tomorrow when I wake up and it be 2013.
November 26, 2025 at 9:43 AM
Just like pretty much every night these days, I wish I could open my eyes tomorrow when I wake up and it be 2013.
Reposted by Offbrand Ken From B*rbie
🚨 Monarca Alert!
Federal activity at 609 Rose Ave E, Saint Paul MN 55117–seems like ICE surrounding a house for a warrant on 1 but 8 others inside who are vulnerable
11/25/25 9:30am
Upstander Legal Observers needed—if you can go, GO
Federal activity at 609 Rose Ave E, Saint Paul MN 55117–seems like ICE surrounding a house for a warrant on 1 but 8 others inside who are vulnerable
11/25/25 9:30am
Upstander Legal Observers needed—if you can go, GO
November 25, 2025 at 3:42 PM
🚨 Monarca Alert!
Federal activity at 609 Rose Ave E, Saint Paul MN 55117–seems like ICE surrounding a house for a warrant on 1 but 8 others inside who are vulnerable
11/25/25 9:30am
Upstander Legal Observers needed—if you can go, GO
Federal activity at 609 Rose Ave E, Saint Paul MN 55117–seems like ICE surrounding a house for a warrant on 1 but 8 others inside who are vulnerable
11/25/25 9:30am
Upstander Legal Observers needed—if you can go, GO
I *think* this is going to be the final version of my "I biked here" map by the end of 2025. Compared to the 2023 version (everything in west metro is just from when I lived there, but I finally connected the map to the old data this year.)
November 25, 2025 at 12:16 AM
I *think* this is going to be the final version of my "I biked here" map by the end of 2025. Compared to the 2023 version (everything in west metro is just from when I lived there, but I finally connected the map to the old data this year.)
Absolutely praying the buyer on the air fryer comes through today as I cannot handle 5 "HI IS THIS STILL AVAILABLE" messages and 3 no shows a week on this fucking thing any longer
November 24, 2025 at 10:05 PM
Absolutely praying the buyer on the air fryer comes through today as I cannot handle 5 "HI IS THIS STILL AVAILABLE" messages and 3 no shows a week on this fucking thing any longer
I'm about 50% sure I have a footwear fetishist in my Facebook Marketplace inbox today
I guess as long as he buys the god damn shoes, whatever
I guess as long as he buys the god damn shoes, whatever
November 24, 2025 at 9:39 PM
I'm about 50% sure I have a footwear fetishist in my Facebook Marketplace inbox today
I guess as long as he buys the god damn shoes, whatever
I guess as long as he buys the god damn shoes, whatever
In 15 Minutes when Sabrina Carpenter sings about saying batshit insane things if not enough people are paying attention to her, I felt that in my soul
November 23, 2025 at 4:46 PM
In 15 Minutes when Sabrina Carpenter sings about saying batshit insane things if not enough people are paying attention to her, I felt that in my soul
People from the coasts just assume the whole world knows about everything in their dinky ass city-- theyre like what do you mean you've never heard of the Gilded Tomato Howizter Lounge?????? it was the 6th biggest Welsh gay club in the bay area until it closed in 2008
November 23, 2025 at 1:35 AM
People from the coasts just assume the whole world knows about everything in their dinky ass city-- theyre like what do you mean you've never heard of the Gilded Tomato Howizter Lounge?????? it was the 6th biggest Welsh gay club in the bay area until it closed in 2008
Look I'm on the same page as everyone else about 2000s anorexia diet culture coming back being a BAD thing.
You can make your point on the subject without saying being able to see someone's ribs is "disgusting" or similar.
Yall are way too comfortable casually body shaming when someone isnt fat...
You can make your point on the subject without saying being able to see someone's ribs is "disgusting" or similar.
Yall are way too comfortable casually body shaming when someone isnt fat...
November 20, 2025 at 7:39 PM
Look I'm on the same page as everyone else about 2000s anorexia diet culture coming back being a BAD thing.
You can make your point on the subject without saying being able to see someone's ribs is "disgusting" or similar.
Yall are way too comfortable casually body shaming when someone isnt fat...
You can make your point on the subject without saying being able to see someone's ribs is "disgusting" or similar.
Yall are way too comfortable casually body shaming when someone isnt fat...
Logan Paul is fighting someone again. Middle space crossed off. No new bingos.
November 18, 2025 at 9:04 PM
Logan Paul is fighting someone again. Middle space crossed off. No new bingos.
I'd be much more supportive of organized religion if more of its leaders were like this rather than wealth hoarders and pedos
Oh wow @reuters.com got the photo here:
November 15, 2025 at 12:38 AM
I'd be much more supportive of organized religion if more of its leaders were like this rather than wealth hoarders and pedos
I am worth more than this bitch ass, shit fucking, garbage dehumanizing system that won't recognize my worth or hire me anywhere. Zero reason our system needs to be so fucking broken
November 13, 2025 at 8:32 PM
I am worth more than this bitch ass, shit fucking, garbage dehumanizing system that won't recognize my worth or hire me anywhere. Zero reason our system needs to be so fucking broken