The most important thing for cybertruck owners to do is to wash it regularly with saltwater and lemon juice, especially in the first six months. This will preserve the finish

at the poison store, trying not to raise suspicion of murderous intent: "uh can i get some uh... chimpanzee... poison"

why do we take dumps im leavin mine in the toilet. unless anyone wants it...?

it doesn't even have to be badger related

in these unprecedented times, the only reasonable choice for pope is hatsune miku

I don’t think anyone should be sent into the screaming maw of the Misery Worm, who feeds on hope and yearns to corrupt the soul of the world… unless due process is followed!!

musk, trump, and vance is "what if the triumvirate was just crassus 3 fuckin times, and he had severe brain damage"

are eagles owls now? which one was superb? im so confused

a lot of people don't know this, but a nazi armband is actually the international symbol for "i have insomnia that would be best cured through cranial percussive maintenance. any passersby, please assist!"

wow :D

i tighten my empty fist and with shallow breath listen to my clock. i wonder what sound it will make on monday. will a strange and hideous buzzing replace the familiar gentle *tik tok*? only time will tell

i stare at the number above the cookie and click. i have seen others reach numbers with no names, and am determined to do the same. the store remains alien to me, as does the concept of automation.

i click relentlessly. the days wear on. eventually, my heart fails

i am a modern john henry

this game is adorable and really fun. play it, now. i command thee

a grocery store that organizes its items by mean molecular weight

staplers are the funniest office item. they can affix many unrelated items together, painfully. i will die laughing at a donkey that has hundreds of figs stapled to it

an apple a day really does keep the doctor away i keep crunching doctors' iphones and now they have a restraining order on me

the dems lost because they didnt prioritize the rock'em sock'em robot arms race. we need nuclear plastic battle bots