Orgnar Pixelsmith
@shmortalcoil.bsky.social
- Raised by bears.
- Begrudgingly living on the surface.
- Middle-aged by human standards.
💖💜💙
- Begrudgingly living on the surface.
- Middle-aged by human standards.
💖💜💙
I think all non-violent first-time criminal punishments should start with a stern talking to, with apologies at the end for the sternness of said talking.
November 28, 2025 at 7:53 PM
I think all non-violent first-time criminal punishments should start with a stern talking to, with apologies at the end for the sternness of said talking.
I always carry a few spare bullion cubes on me at all times so if I fall into a puddle or a swimming pool, hey, we got soup now bb.
November 26, 2025 at 5:42 PM
I always carry a few spare bullion cubes on me at all times so if I fall into a puddle or a swimming pool, hey, we got soup now bb.
GET WRECKED, MINI CROSSWORD.
November 24, 2025 at 6:38 PM
GET WRECKED, MINI CROSSWORD.
what the fuck.
November 20, 2025 at 12:05 AM
what the fuck.
If I'm ever trapped in a wall by one of my enemies, I'm going to be yelling out Cask of Amontillado lines until I'm sure no one can hear me anymore and I'll die screaming but knowing at least I got in some sick references up right up until the end.
November 19, 2025 at 11:05 PM
If I'm ever trapped in a wall by one of my enemies, I'm going to be yelling out Cask of Amontillado lines until I'm sure no one can hear me anymore and I'll die screaming but knowing at least I got in some sick references up right up until the end.
Maybe they asked us to crouch under our desks at school in case of nuclear annihilation so that our ashes would be easier for the surviving janitorial staff to clean up.
November 17, 2025 at 2:34 AM
Maybe they asked us to crouch under our desks at school in case of nuclear annihilation so that our ashes would be easier for the surviving janitorial staff to clean up.
Lay 'em back and smack 'em yak 'em.
November 3, 2025 at 8:55 PM
Lay 'em back and smack 'em yak 'em.
What if we found out baby corn was made like baby carrots, they just whittle it from larger ones?
November 1, 2025 at 6:47 PM
What if we found out baby corn was made like baby carrots, they just whittle it from larger ones?
If my wife had a dream television show, it'd be called "Chubby Guy Murders".
October 28, 2025 at 2:05 AM
If my wife had a dream television show, it'd be called "Chubby Guy Murders".
Of course you remember notorious feltfucker Elliot Gould.
October 24, 2025 at 10:30 PM
Of course you remember notorious feltfucker Elliot Gould.
Wouldn't it be great if Tammy was short for Tamothy?
October 24, 2025 at 2:39 AM
Wouldn't it be great if Tammy was short for Tamothy?
"Be yourself" is great advice except when the question is "how can I get away from these kidnappers?"
Then it's just hurtful.
Then it's just hurtful.
October 20, 2025 at 3:36 PM
"Be yourself" is great advice except when the question is "how can I get away from these kidnappers?"
Then it's just hurtful.
Then it's just hurtful.
Accidentally dumped my kettle-cooked potato chips into my creamy basil tomato soup and it was the best "decision" I ever made.
October 17, 2025 at 5:32 AM
Accidentally dumped my kettle-cooked potato chips into my creamy basil tomato soup and it was the best "decision" I ever made.
I hate having to carry a knife or stun gun on my walks, I'm going to train myself to shoot blood out of my eyes like a desert toad.
October 16, 2025 at 1:25 AM
I hate having to carry a knife or stun gun on my walks, I'm going to train myself to shoot blood out of my eyes like a desert toad.
Damnit, Hawkins! A shawty fire burning on the dance floor needs to be put out with baking soda due to the high concentration of oil-based products involved!
October 11, 2025 at 11:06 PM
Damnit, Hawkins! A shawty fire burning on the dance floor needs to be put out with baking soda due to the high concentration of oil-based products involved!
I don't understand all these "sexy" Hocus Pocus witch costumes.
THEY WERE SEXY ENOUGH ALREADY.
THEY WERE SEXY ENOUGH ALREADY.
October 11, 2025 at 2:32 AM
I don't understand all these "sexy" Hocus Pocus witch costumes.
THEY WERE SEXY ENOUGH ALREADY.
THEY WERE SEXY ENOUGH ALREADY.
Boom! Pow! That's how it's done (being exceedingly lucky).
Wordle 1,572 2/6
🟩⬛⬛⬛🟨
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩
Wordle 1,572 2/6
🟩⬛⬛⬛🟨
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩
October 8, 2025 at 4:56 PM
Boom! Pow! That's how it's done (being exceedingly lucky).
Wordle 1,572 2/6
🟩⬛⬛⬛🟨
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩
Wordle 1,572 2/6
🟩⬛⬛⬛🟨
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩
Reposted by Orgnar Pixelsmith
Reminder that the phrase “toxic masculinity” doesn’t mean masculinity is toxic
October 7, 2025 at 5:58 PM
Reminder that the phrase “toxic masculinity” doesn’t mean masculinity is toxic
Wife and I play aggressive footsie while wearing our Crocs and sitting in our respective armchairs; we call it bumping uglies.
October 7, 2025 at 1:40 AM
Wife and I play aggressive footsie while wearing our Crocs and sitting in our respective armchairs; we call it bumping uglies.
How about instead talking about what TRIGGERS each other we talk about how to TRAEGER™ this fine beef brisket?
October 6, 2025 at 9:47 PM
How about instead talking about what TRIGGERS each other we talk about how to TRAEGER™ this fine beef brisket?
Frodo: <accidentally drops the ring on the ground>
Boromir: <gives the ring on a chain back to Frodo after a few moments, then awkwardly tousles Frodo's hair before moving away>
Frodo glaring at Boromir: I'm a fucking 50 year old MAN, dude.
Boromir: <gives the ring on a chain back to Frodo after a few moments, then awkwardly tousles Frodo's hair before moving away>
Frodo glaring at Boromir: I'm a fucking 50 year old MAN, dude.
October 6, 2025 at 6:03 AM
Frodo: <accidentally drops the ring on the ground>
Boromir: <gives the ring on a chain back to Frodo after a few moments, then awkwardly tousles Frodo's hair before moving away>
Frodo glaring at Boromir: I'm a fucking 50 year old MAN, dude.
Boromir: <gives the ring on a chain back to Frodo after a few moments, then awkwardly tousles Frodo's hair before moving away>
Frodo glaring at Boromir: I'm a fucking 50 year old MAN, dude.
Oh I'm sorry, I thought you kept saying "Stewart of Gondor" like his name, so I was calling myself "Bob of Bree" to match your vibe... My bad.
October 6, 2025 at 5:44 AM
Oh I'm sorry, I thought you kept saying "Stewart of Gondor" like his name, so I was calling myself "Bob of Bree" to match your vibe... My bad.
Do you think Arwen and Aragorn had real solemn "sheathe my sword, m'lady" sex or did they get down and nasty.
I almost wasn't going to post this.
I almost wasn't going to post this.
October 6, 2025 at 5:42 AM
Do you think Arwen and Aragorn had real solemn "sheathe my sword, m'lady" sex or did they get down and nasty.
I almost wasn't going to post this.
I almost wasn't going to post this.
They really need a little velvet rope around the shards of Narsil if every Tom, Dick, and Boromir can just walk up and grab the handle and start swishing it around pretending like they're King of the Numenors.
October 6, 2025 at 5:40 AM
They really need a little velvet rope around the shards of Narsil if every Tom, Dick, and Boromir can just walk up and grab the handle and start swishing it around pretending like they're King of the Numenors.
This is what the elves sound like to me when they do their magic in any Tolkien/Jackson film.
October 6, 2025 at 5:30 AM
This is what the elves sound like to me when they do their magic in any Tolkien/Jackson film.