BODY MASSAGE MACHINE
@slumlordthanatos.bsky.social
An endless stream of nerd shit, useless information, and classic memes.
Who wants a body massage?
Who wants a body massage?
If you see this, we IMPLORE you to post a picture from whatever device you're using without explanation.
December 14, 2025 at 10:16 PM
If you see this, we IMPLORE you to post a picture from whatever device you're using without explanation.
Alright, one more game, and this one falls into the "fantastic writing" category: Vampire: The Masquerade: Bloodlines.
There's a reason this game shows on practically every "Greatest RPG" list despite its many, many flaws. It's a genuinely compelling story with lots of twists, turns, and branches.
There's a reason this game shows on practically every "Greatest RPG" list despite its many, many flaws. It's a genuinely compelling story with lots of twists, turns, and branches.
December 13, 2025 at 2:07 AM
Alright, one more game, and this one falls into the "fantastic writing" category: Vampire: The Masquerade: Bloodlines.
There's a reason this game shows on practically every "Greatest RPG" list despite its many, many flaws. It's a genuinely compelling story with lots of twists, turns, and branches.
There's a reason this game shows on practically every "Greatest RPG" list despite its many, many flaws. It's a genuinely compelling story with lots of twists, turns, and branches.
I really want to gush about Katawa Shoujo for a bit, too. It's a VN, but for the low, low price of "free", it's worth checking out.
It's shocking that something this heartwarming and sweet was born from 4chan of all places. It'll make you laugh, it'll make you cry, and everything in between.
It's shocking that something this heartwarming and sweet was born from 4chan of all places. It'll make you laugh, it'll make you cry, and everything in between.
December 13, 2025 at 1:58 AM
I really want to gush about Katawa Shoujo for a bit, too. It's a VN, but for the low, low price of "free", it's worth checking out.
It's shocking that something this heartwarming and sweet was born from 4chan of all places. It'll make you laugh, it'll make you cry, and everything in between.
It's shocking that something this heartwarming and sweet was born from 4chan of all places. It'll make you laugh, it'll make you cry, and everything in between.
Intravenous II has an incredible soundtrack, but it would be remiss of me not to also bring up another of my favorite game soundtracks: Crypt of the Necrodancer.
While I enjoyed the game itself (until I tried to beat it with Aria, at least), this game has a fuckin' banging soundtrack.
While I enjoyed the game itself (until I tried to beat it with Aria, at least), this game has a fuckin' banging soundtrack.
December 12, 2025 at 3:00 PM
Intravenous II has an incredible soundtrack, but it would be remiss of me not to also bring up another of my favorite game soundtracks: Crypt of the Necrodancer.
While I enjoyed the game itself (until I tried to beat it with Aria, at least), this game has a fuckin' banging soundtrack.
While I enjoyed the game itself (until I tried to beat it with Aria, at least), this game has a fuckin' banging soundtrack.
I also do want to bring up some honorable mentions that I didn't get to plug, starting with Starsector. It was between this and DA2 for my underrated game, and I really want to see more people play Mount & Blade IN SPACE!!!
The website looks like it should give you malware, but it's legit.
The website looks like it should give you malware, but it's legit.
December 12, 2025 at 2:53 PM
I also do want to bring up some honorable mentions that I didn't get to plug, starting with Starsector. It was between this and DA2 for my underrated game, and I really want to see more people play Mount & Blade IN SPACE!!!
The website looks like it should give you malware, but it's legit.
The website looks like it should give you malware, but it's legit.
Whew! Day 30, everyone; we made it to the end.
If you ask me about my GOAT every day over a week, I'll probably give you seven different answers.
But for today? Bloodborne.
If you know, you know. If not, go get some PlayStation hardware and play it. But be warned: it's not for the faint of heart.
If you ask me about my GOAT every day over a week, I'll probably give you seven different answers.
But for today? Bloodborne.
If you know, you know. If not, go get some PlayStation hardware and play it. But be warned: it's not for the faint of heart.
December 12, 2025 at 2:48 PM
Whew! Day 30, everyone; we made it to the end.
If you ask me about my GOAT every day over a week, I'll probably give you seven different answers.
But for today? Bloodborne.
If you know, you know. If not, go get some PlayStation hardware and play it. But be warned: it's not for the faint of heart.
If you ask me about my GOAT every day over a week, I'll probably give you seven different answers.
But for today? Bloodborne.
If you know, you know. If not, go get some PlayStation hardware and play it. But be warned: it's not for the faint of heart.
Day 29!
I love Stardew Valley and think it's a better "game" at the moment, but Fields of Mistria just has a much better cast of characters. It's not done yet and won't be until next year, so it still feels like it's missing content.
But the characters run laps around SDV's.
I love Stardew Valley and think it's a better "game" at the moment, but Fields of Mistria just has a much better cast of characters. It's not done yet and won't be until next year, so it still feels like it's missing content.
But the characters run laps around SDV's.
December 12, 2025 at 3:45 AM
Day 29!
I love Stardew Valley and think it's a better "game" at the moment, but Fields of Mistria just has a much better cast of characters. It's not done yet and won't be until next year, so it still feels like it's missing content.
But the characters run laps around SDV's.
I love Stardew Valley and think it's a better "game" at the moment, but Fields of Mistria just has a much better cast of characters. It's not done yet and won't be until next year, so it still feels like it's missing content.
But the characters run laps around SDV's.
A game that has been canceled for Day 28, and it could only be Starcraft: Ghost.
I was *stoked* when this was announced. It turned out to be my teenage self's first experience with the downsides of the industry.
It still has so much potential; it's a shame it's been left on the wayside.
I was *stoked* when this was announced. It turned out to be my teenage self's first experience with the downsides of the industry.
It still has so much potential; it's a shame it's been left on the wayside.
December 10, 2025 at 2:40 PM
A game that has been canceled for Day 28, and it could only be Starcraft: Ghost.
I was *stoked* when this was announced. It turned out to be my teenage self's first experience with the downsides of the industry.
It still has so much potential; it's a shame it's been left on the wayside.
I was *stoked* when this was announced. It turned out to be my teenage self's first experience with the downsides of the industry.
It still has so much potential; it's a shame it's been left on the wayside.
Day 27: Helldivers 2.
I've already plugged Darktide and Halo, but this is still one of my very favorite co-op games, and it's simply because of the chaos. Having friendly fire be on and giving lots of extra lives means getting blown up by your buddy's airstrike is funny instead of frustrating.
I've already plugged Darktide and Halo, but this is still one of my very favorite co-op games, and it's simply because of the chaos. Having friendly fire be on and giving lots of extra lives means getting blown up by your buddy's airstrike is funny instead of frustrating.
December 9, 2025 at 7:37 PM
Day 27: Helldivers 2.
I've already plugged Darktide and Halo, but this is still one of my very favorite co-op games, and it's simply because of the chaos. Having friendly fire be on and giving lots of extra lives means getting blown up by your buddy's airstrike is funny instead of frustrating.
I've already plugged Darktide and Halo, but this is still one of my very favorite co-op games, and it's simply because of the chaos. Having friendly fire be on and giving lots of extra lives means getting blown up by your buddy's airstrike is funny instead of frustrating.
Day 26: Fire Emblem: Three Houses.
Fire Emblem in general, really. For me, the turn-based tactics take a back seat to playing matchmaker. I love turning my ragtag group of misfits into demigods, but that's not as important as making cute couples out of everyone.
Also, Edelgard did nothing wrong.
Fire Emblem in general, really. For me, the turn-based tactics take a back seat to playing matchmaker. I love turning my ragtag group of misfits into demigods, but that's not as important as making cute couples out of everyone.
Also, Edelgard did nothing wrong.
December 9, 2025 at 3:00 AM
Day 26: Fire Emblem: Three Houses.
Fire Emblem in general, really. For me, the turn-based tactics take a back seat to playing matchmaker. I love turning my ragtag group of misfits into demigods, but that's not as important as making cute couples out of everyone.
Also, Edelgard did nothing wrong.
Fire Emblem in general, really. For me, the turn-based tactics take a back seat to playing matchmaker. I love turning my ragtag group of misfits into demigods, but that's not as important as making cute couples out of everyone.
Also, Edelgard did nothing wrong.
Name a voice actor who you think has an iconic voice.
Gotta go with the late, great Tony Jay. He didn't need to have range; his distinctive voice is instantly recognizable. It oozes power and authority, making him a perfect fit for many iconic villains.
Gotta go with the late, great Tony Jay. He didn't need to have range; his distinctive voice is instantly recognizable. It oozes power and authority, making him a perfect fit for many iconic villains.
December 8, 2025 at 3:26 PM
Name a voice actor who you think has an iconic voice.
Gotta go with the late, great Tony Jay. He didn't need to have range; his distinctive voice is instantly recognizable. It oozes power and authority, making him a perfect fit for many iconic villains.
Gotta go with the late, great Tony Jay. He didn't need to have range; his distinctive voice is instantly recognizable. It oozes power and authority, making him a perfect fit for many iconic villains.
It's late (again) but still technically Day 25!
Halo: Reach was absolutely sublime from beginning to end, and I played a ton of this game's multiplayer. What I wouldn't give to go back in time and play it again for the first time during its heyday.
This was peak Halo.
Halo: Reach was absolutely sublime from beginning to end, and I played a ton of this game's multiplayer. What I wouldn't give to go back in time and play it again for the first time during its heyday.
This was peak Halo.
December 8, 2025 at 5:09 AM
It's late (again) but still technically Day 25!
Halo: Reach was absolutely sublime from beginning to end, and I played a ton of this game's multiplayer. What I wouldn't give to go back in time and play it again for the first time during its heyday.
This was peak Halo.
Halo: Reach was absolutely sublime from beginning to end, and I played a ton of this game's multiplayer. What I wouldn't give to go back in time and play it again for the first time during its heyday.
This was peak Halo.
Day 24 is a game I wanted to love but couldn't. There's a few candidates (Doom: Eternal, Hollow Knight: Silksong, and ULTRAKILL, to name a few), but I ultimately settled on Factorio.
Simply put, my autism isn't powerful enough for this game. It should be right up my alley, but it just doesn't click
Simply put, my autism isn't powerful enough for this game. It should be right up my alley, but it just doesn't click
December 6, 2025 at 6:44 PM
Day 24 is a game I wanted to love but couldn't. There's a few candidates (Doom: Eternal, Hollow Knight: Silksong, and ULTRAKILL, to name a few), but I ultimately settled on Factorio.
Simply put, my autism isn't powerful enough for this game. It should be right up my alley, but it just doesn't click
Simply put, my autism isn't powerful enough for this game. It should be right up my alley, but it just doesn't click
Gotta get Day 23 done now, or I just won't have time.
It amazes me how well Sea of Stars managed to use modern graphics to evoke the 16-bit era. "Stunning" doesn't even begin to describe how this game looks.
I felt like I was a young teenager again.
It amazes me how well Sea of Stars managed to use modern graphics to evoke the 16-bit era. "Stunning" doesn't even begin to describe how this game looks.
I felt like I was a young teenager again.
December 5, 2025 at 1:53 PM
Gotta get Day 23 done now, or I just won't have time.
It amazes me how well Sea of Stars managed to use modern graphics to evoke the 16-bit era. "Stunning" doesn't even begin to describe how this game looks.
I felt like I was a young teenager again.
It amazes me how well Sea of Stars managed to use modern graphics to evoke the 16-bit era. "Stunning" doesn't even begin to describe how this game looks.
I felt like I was a young teenager again.
Day 22 is a game with my favorite character?
I mean, I melt a little inside every time Karlach calls me "Soldier!". It blows my mind how people miss recruiting her in BG3.
I mean, I melt a little inside every time Karlach calls me "Soldier!". It blows my mind how people miss recruiting her in BG3.
December 4, 2025 at 3:01 PM
Day 22 is a game with my favorite character?
I mean, I melt a little inside every time Karlach calls me "Soldier!". It blows my mind how people miss recruiting her in BG3.
I mean, I melt a little inside every time Karlach calls me "Soldier!". It blows my mind how people miss recruiting her in BG3.
Day 21: Sins of a Solar Empire.
Me and my closest friends have been playing this game together off-and-on for almost as long as it's been out. In that time, we've played countless games across the base game and its countless conversion mods. Star Trek, Star Wars, Halo, 40K...the list goes on.
Me and my closest friends have been playing this game together off-and-on for almost as long as it's been out. In that time, we've played countless games across the base game and its countless conversion mods. Star Trek, Star Wars, Halo, 40K...the list goes on.
December 3, 2025 at 5:59 PM
Day 21: Sins of a Solar Empire.
Me and my closest friends have been playing this game together off-and-on for almost as long as it's been out. In that time, we've played countless games across the base game and its countless conversion mods. Star Trek, Star Wars, Halo, 40K...the list goes on.
Me and my closest friends have been playing this game together off-and-on for almost as long as it's been out. In that time, we've played countless games across the base game and its countless conversion mods. Star Trek, Star Wars, Halo, 40K...the list goes on.
Okay, caught back up. Day 20!
I'm gonna go with one of the most underrated games of the 16-bit era: Phantasy Star IV. An RPG on the Sega Genesis that deserves to stand tall alongside Crono Trigger and FF VI as one of the greatest RPGs of the era.
(I'll spare you the godawful cover art.)
I'm gonna go with one of the most underrated games of the 16-bit era: Phantasy Star IV. An RPG on the Sega Genesis that deserves to stand tall alongside Crono Trigger and FF VI as one of the greatest RPGs of the era.
(I'll spare you the godawful cover art.)
December 2, 2025 at 9:53 PM
Okay, caught back up. Day 20!
I'm gonna go with one of the most underrated games of the 16-bit era: Phantasy Star IV. An RPG on the Sega Genesis that deserves to stand tall alongside Crono Trigger and FF VI as one of the greatest RPGs of the era.
(I'll spare you the godawful cover art.)
I'm gonna go with one of the most underrated games of the 16-bit era: Phantasy Star IV. An RPG on the Sega Genesis that deserves to stand tall alongside Crono Trigger and FF VI as one of the greatest RPGs of the era.
(I'll spare you the godawful cover art.)
Gotta do a double feature today; it slipped my mind yesterday.
Day 19 is the scariest game I've played, and as someone who hates horror games, I have to go with the original Dead Space.
I'm slightly ashamed to admit that I never finished it. I couldn't handle it anymore.
Day 19 is the scariest game I've played, and as someone who hates horror games, I have to go with the original Dead Space.
I'm slightly ashamed to admit that I never finished it. I couldn't handle it anymore.
December 2, 2025 at 2:08 PM
Gotta do a double feature today; it slipped my mind yesterday.
Day 19 is the scariest game I've played, and as someone who hates horror games, I have to go with the original Dead Space.
I'm slightly ashamed to admit that I never finished it. I couldn't handle it anymore.
Day 19 is the scariest game I've played, and as someone who hates horror games, I have to go with the original Dead Space.
I'm slightly ashamed to admit that I never finished it. I couldn't handle it anymore.
Day 18!
It took some thought, but I finally settled on one: F3AR. Or FEAR 3, however you want to stylize it.
I remembered being super excited for this game; FEAR is one of my all-time favorites, and I didn't hate FEAR 2. But F3AR was just...mind-boggling. I finished it, but don't remember why.
It took some thought, but I finally settled on one: F3AR. Or FEAR 3, however you want to stylize it.
I remembered being super excited for this game; FEAR is one of my all-time favorites, and I didn't hate FEAR 2. But F3AR was just...mind-boggling. I finished it, but don't remember why.
December 1, 2025 at 1:47 AM
Day 18!
It took some thought, but I finally settled on one: F3AR. Or FEAR 3, however you want to stylize it.
I remembered being super excited for this game; FEAR is one of my all-time favorites, and I didn't hate FEAR 2. But F3AR was just...mind-boggling. I finished it, but don't remember why.
It took some thought, but I finally settled on one: F3AR. Or FEAR 3, however you want to stylize it.
I remembered being super excited for this game; FEAR is one of my all-time favorites, and I didn't hate FEAR 2. But F3AR was just...mind-boggling. I finished it, but don't remember why.
An underrated game for Day 17? For me, it's gotta be Dragon Age 2.
I'm not gonna sit here and tell you that this game isn't deeply, deeply flawed in almost every facet. This game went from concept to release in 18 months; it's a miracle it's even playable.
But it still has my favorite characters.
I'm not gonna sit here and tell you that this game isn't deeply, deeply flawed in almost every facet. This game went from concept to release in 18 months; it's a miracle it's even playable.
But it still has my favorite characters.
November 30, 2025 at 1:21 AM
An underrated game for Day 17? For me, it's gotta be Dragon Age 2.
I'm not gonna sit here and tell you that this game isn't deeply, deeply flawed in almost every facet. This game went from concept to release in 18 months; it's a miracle it's even playable.
But it still has my favorite characters.
I'm not gonna sit here and tell you that this game isn't deeply, deeply flawed in almost every facet. This game went from concept to release in 18 months; it's a miracle it's even playable.
But it still has my favorite characters.
We're past the halfway point! Day 16.
Pathfinder: Kingmaker is a brilliant first game by Owlcat Studios, and it showed in the games that they have made since. They're a Russian team based in Cyprus.
If you loved BG3 and want something similar, check it out! It's raw, but a worthy first game.
Pathfinder: Kingmaker is a brilliant first game by Owlcat Studios, and it showed in the games that they have made since. They're a Russian team based in Cyprus.
If you loved BG3 and want something similar, check it out! It's raw, but a worthy first game.
November 28, 2025 at 11:18 PM
We're past the halfway point! Day 16.
Pathfinder: Kingmaker is a brilliant first game by Owlcat Studios, and it showed in the games that they have made since. They're a Russian team based in Cyprus.
If you loved BG3 and want something similar, check it out! It's raw, but a worthy first game.
Pathfinder: Kingmaker is a brilliant first game by Owlcat Studios, and it showed in the games that they have made since. They're a Russian team based in Cyprus.
If you loved BG3 and want something similar, check it out! It's raw, but a worthy first game.
My game for Day 15 is Buckshot Roulette.
Most of this game's dialog is mostly just the Dealer teaching you how to play the game. The rest of the game just oozes atmosphere; the game has precious little dialog, but the artstyle, music, and the audio design really hammer home the tension.
Most of this game's dialog is mostly just the Dealer teaching you how to play the game. The rest of the game just oozes atmosphere; the game has precious little dialog, but the artstyle, music, and the audio design really hammer home the tension.
November 28, 2025 at 3:07 AM
My game for Day 15 is Buckshot Roulette.
Most of this game's dialog is mostly just the Dealer teaching you how to play the game. The rest of the game just oozes atmosphere; the game has precious little dialog, but the artstyle, music, and the audio design really hammer home the tension.
Most of this game's dialog is mostly just the Dealer teaching you how to play the game. The rest of the game just oozes atmosphere; the game has precious little dialog, but the artstyle, music, and the audio design really hammer home the tension.
For day 14, I'm instantly eliminating MMOs and dedicated multiplayer games, or I'd have more than I could count.
But I don't have *hundreds* of hours in Total War: Warhammer and its sequels. I have *thousands.*
But I don't have *hundreds* of hours in Total War: Warhammer and its sequels. I have *thousands.*
November 26, 2025 at 7:20 PM
For day 14, I'm instantly eliminating MMOs and dedicated multiplayer games, or I'd have more than I could count.
But I don't have *hundreds* of hours in Total War: Warhammer and its sequels. I have *thousands.*
But I don't have *hundreds* of hours in Total War: Warhammer and its sequels. I have *thousands.*
For day 13, I'm going to go with a game that has *literal* good writing: Lost Odyssey.
Kaim's Memories are presented in stylized prose, and whoever did the translating for them deserves a medal. It's some of the most beautiful writing I've ever experienced.
Kaim's Memories are presented in stylized prose, and whoever did the translating for them deserves a medal. It's some of the most beautiful writing I've ever experienced.
November 26, 2025 at 3:19 AM
For day 13, I'm going to go with a game that has *literal* good writing: Lost Odyssey.
Kaim's Memories are presented in stylized prose, and whoever did the translating for them deserves a medal. It's some of the most beautiful writing I've ever experienced.
Kaim's Memories are presented in stylized prose, and whoever did the translating for them deserves a medal. It's some of the most beautiful writing I've ever experienced.