Ham Mage
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sphenewife.bsky.social
Ham Mage
@sphenewife.bsky.social
- i'm Ham :) some say Hamham
-- she/it
--- 25+, no minors
---- mostly here for my OCs
----- https://archiveofourown.org/users/HamiraPingpong/works
------ icon by @zidanetribal.bsky.social, header by @illusbal.bsky.social
Pinned
[PINNED VER.1]

* i write, you can find it below :)
* please don't flirt with me, but feel free to appreciate my characters
* i don't do collabs, sorgy. i do have MCDFs, though, feel free to inquire.
* look at this picture of Aoibheann and Meat Sphene :)
Reposted by Ham Mage
spiritually inspired by Limbus' funniest character, Lei Heng
December 18, 2025 at 5:10 PM
Aoibheann isn't very stealthy BUT she is perpetually beneath notice and has no presence. Gomi once asked her to pick up a master control tomestone from an FK office and she just walked right into the management room, picked it up, and left. nobody challenged or even paid attention to her.
#wolqotd on a scale of 1 to 10 with 1 being clumsy mess that alerts the enemy with the clapping of them cheeks and 10 being I AM THE NIGHT, how stealthy is your WoL/OC? Could they get in/out of a location absolutely undetected or they have the diva genes and can't function without making an entrance
January 11, 2026 at 4:21 PM
i poke fun at Gomi a lot for how laughably inept her coping mechanisms around the divorce are, but make no mistake this middle-aged catgirl is SO fucking sad. you think she's sad and then you open her up and oh jesus there's even more sadness. it's all the way down to the marrow.
January 11, 2026 at 3:12 PM
bringing to this the timeline and adding that there's a harsh contrast between Gomi's house (massive, ostentatious, yet lonely, cold and partially empty) and the Rhansath estate (which isn't very large, being slightly smaller than an in-game large house, but is very cozy, warm and lived-in)
Gomi bought out Haukke Manor intending to raise an entire dynasty there and also have regular bashes/salons with The Girls only for her to outlive almost all of the latter, and with the former she had one (1) kid with her wife and then got divorced, so it's mostly just her, Firhu and the servants
January 11, 2026 at 3:01 PM
everybody in-universe tends to forget how powerful a mage Gomi is so it's a surprise to basically everyone that she's still able to use geomancy and Nophica's spellbook even in a place as unnatural and lifeless as Alexandria's dome
January 11, 2026 at 11:58 AM
Reposted by Ham Mage
BREAKING: Square Enix confirms that the next expansion of critically acclaimed MMORPG Final Fantasy XIV will take place in Ojama Country!
January 11, 2026 at 10:59 AM
part of why Gomi even formally establishes her own retinue is cause like... the Hamverse Scions are getting old as hell lmao. the older ones are nearly 60 and are showing their age on account of all the war wounds from 1.0-6.0

and in Y'shtola's case i absorbed the mistranslation of her aethersight-
January 10, 2026 at 7:28 PM
i need to adjust my mute list again because i'm once again being exposed to DT "critique" that boils down to the user's own inability to read subtext
January 10, 2026 at 7:00 PM
after 7.0 Aoibheann decides to learn a branch of Pictomancy that revolves around calling upon one's memories of their peers and using them as disposable summons

she promptly gets removed from Gomi's retinue and instead uses her new powers to uhm. entertain kids at the school Meat Sphene works at.
January 10, 2026 at 6:13 PM
when it comes to XIV no amount of guides can change the fact that i learn best by slamming my head against a wall until the wall cracks.

like, i watched a guide for Zeromus EX but it was utterly useless compared to just joining a party and dying until it clicked
January 10, 2026 at 5:59 PM
Jehanne isn't trans but other trans people keep incorrectly clocking her so she keeps ending up in their company (which is to her benefit, they're very willing to let her sleep on their sofas)

she IS a lesbian but she doesn't know that yet lmao.
January 10, 2026 at 4:24 PM
saddest woman in the world found idling in bars across the world
January 10, 2026 at 4:06 PM
i feel for Aoibheann, an ass man (gender neutral) who married a woman with basically nothing down there
January 10, 2026 at 10:40 AM
honestly? before DT i'd say the most genuinely interesting characters in the game aren't any of the humanoids, it's the Firstbrood and it's not even close.
January 10, 2026 at 9:23 AM
horrific realization that all of my gen 2 XIV OCs (i.e, everyone born during the final days or afterwards) are the setting's equivalent to baby boomers
January 9, 2026 at 10:25 PM
January 9, 2026 at 9:42 PM
deleted that earlier thread for no other reason than not wanting to appear like a CBU3 glazer
January 9, 2026 at 9:08 PM
man my other account rarely gets junk follows or random likes from American termsearchers but this one is flooded with them lmao, what gives
January 9, 2026 at 8:20 PM
realizing that Lilija's role in DT (starting with postpatch) is uh. she's just Vergilius if he was kind of a loser and terminally divorced.
January 9, 2026 at 1:54 PM
"forgot to pin my pinned tweet" award
January 8, 2026 at 9:48 PM
i wager they could sidestep the inevitable problem of "we are out of weapons" by just introducing sub-jobs for existing classes in the same way that SMN and SCH are. let me tank as a Samurai dude trust me.
January 8, 2026 at 7:14 PM
i made a vow to do Arcadion when all the tiers were out but to be honest i'm just not feeling it that much lmao.

don't get me wrong i love Dawntrail's story and the way it handles Alexandria but i can't stand actually being in S9 nor do i want to do a questline that's 99% S9.
January 8, 2026 at 7:06 PM
i would pretend to be surprised that "sphenewife" was never snatched up, but you know how XIV fans are with women
January 8, 2026 at 6:57 PM
January 8, 2026 at 6:55 PM
[PINNED VER.1]

* i write, you can find it below :)
* please don't flirt with me, but feel free to appreciate my characters
* i don't do collabs, sorgy. i do have MCDFs, though, feel free to inquire.
* look at this picture of Aoibheann and Meat Sphene :)
January 8, 2026 at 6:12 PM