At least if this was a bit on an old Larry Sanders Show episode Garry Shandling would have made sure to have his Larry character do the joke wildly different each time until he got the applause he sought

In a just world “I gave myself a billion dollars” would be his “let them eat cake”

He’s gonna rename Washington DC for himself isn’t he? He’s gonna build that asinine arch and put his name on whatever monuments and statues he doesn’t bulldoze than announce the capital is now Trump DC

Paul looked so stunned to be hit that devastatingly hard by a real boxer you could almost see the little birds flying around his head

The Donald J. Trump Award for Outstanding Achievement in the Field of Ethnic Cleansing

I mean you know how easy cartel guys are to push around and steal from and it’s not like we have any famous movies that would dispel that in any way to anyone’s little friends

It’s like the people who name Taco Bell menu items worded this bill

Vought standing like a video game character while you change his outfits and weapons

He’s either heavy-lidded slack-faced nodding off at 9 am or ruddy and manically screaming.

He isn’t fit for the job.

Well he’s gotta stand up today it’s gonna take a minute to get that drug cocktail just right so he can pretend to function

turning nazism into something that sounds like bland centrism is the culmination of the modern reactionary project

Irony has the chance to do the most funniest thing right now