Matthew
@styers.bsky.social
A++ statistical comedy by the Hospital Thunder. Every single player who traveled to SA made at least 1 3-pointer... except their best shooter.
February 5, 2026 at 6:20 AM
A++ statistical comedy by the Hospital Thunder. Every single player who traveled to SA made at least 1 3-pointer... except their best shooter.
Deeply upsetting that for the 2nd consecutive deadline, the Thunder have failed to acquire Top 10 NBA Center Moussa Diabate.
Like, I have a borderline irrational level of affection for JWill, but I would drive him to the airport with a good 1st in his pocket if it meant we could have Moussa.
Like, I have a borderline irrational level of affection for JWill, but I would drive him to the airport with a good 1st in his pocket if it meant we could have Moussa.
The Hornets acquired Dieng and a second-rounder from the Oklahoma City Thunder for Mason Plumlee, sources said. Dieng was then re-routed to Chicago amid multiple transactions.
February 4, 2026 at 8:38 PM
Deeply upsetting that for the 2nd consecutive deadline, the Thunder have failed to acquire Top 10 NBA Center Moussa Diabate.
Like, I have a borderline irrational level of affection for JWill, but I would drive him to the airport with a good 1st in his pocket if it meant we could have Moussa.
Like, I have a borderline irrational level of affection for JWill, but I would drive him to the airport with a good 1st in his pocket if it meant we could have Moussa.
Genuinely hilarious that it's been like half an hour since we found out the Hornets traded Ousmane Djieng, and no one has any idea how they acquired him.
Just in: The Chicago Bulls are trading Coby White and Mike Conley Jr. to the Charlotte Hornets for Collin Sexton, Ousmane Dieng and three second-round picks, sources tell ESPN.
February 4, 2026 at 8:24 PM
Genuinely hilarious that it's been like half an hour since we found out the Hornets traded Ousmane Djieng, and no one has any idea how they acquired him.
Would love for some of the Jokic-friendly pods (i.e. all of them) to go with the "They were mean to him" angle. Would add a fun wrinkle to the usual Jokic Excuses ("Murray let him down", "Gordon was hurt", "the League doesn't want him to win another MVP", etc.)
The Thunder’s team-wide annoy Jokic plan is really good. I thought we’d be missing some juice without Caruso but they’ve annoyed the hell out of him tonight.
February 2, 2026 at 5:45 AM
Would love for some of the Jokic-friendly pods (i.e. all of them) to go with the "They were mean to him" angle. Would add a fun wrinkle to the usual Jokic Excuses ("Murray let him down", "Gordon was hurt", "the League doesn't want him to win another MVP", etc.)
I guess still no word on whether Silver will accede to the media's demands that his number be retired league-wide and every game start with a moment of silence? Or since he's only out like a month, would everyone chill out if they just rename every award after him?
Just in: Denver Nuggets' Nikola Jokic has been diagnosed with a hyperextension in his left knee and will miss at least four weeks. An immense sigh of relief as tests show the three-time NBA MVP's knee ligaments are intact.
December 30, 2025 at 10:11 PM
I guess still no word on whether Silver will accede to the media's demands that his number be retired league-wide and every game start with a moment of silence? Or since he's only out like a month, would everyone chill out if they just rename every award after him?
Congrats to the PR person at Red Bull who is now freed from the burden of doing damage control every time someone puts a mic in front of their oldest and most racist employee.
Now confirmed by Red Bull, with Marko saying:
"Narrowly missing out on the world championship this season has moved me deeply and made it clear to me that now is the right moment for me personally to end this very long, intense, and successful chapter." #F1
"Narrowly missing out on the world championship this season has moved me deeply and made it clear to me that now is the right moment for me personally to end this very long, intense, and successful chapter." #F1
Understand reports that Helmut Marko will be leaving Red Bull at the end of this year are accurate, with official confirmation expected perhaps as early as today #F1
December 9, 2025 at 3:42 PM
Congrats to the PR person at Red Bull who is now freed from the burden of doing damage control every time someone puts a mic in front of their oldest and most racist employee.
@jeskeets.bsky.social up or down on @nodunksinc.bsky.social segments being harvested by Inside/ESPN?
October 23, 2025 at 5:28 AM
@jeskeets.bsky.social up or down on @nodunksinc.bsky.social segments being harvested by Inside/ESPN?
Congrats to everyone on setting a new record for violating the Playoff Atmosphere rule.
Night 1 (or any night) of the regular season simply cannot "feel like the playoffs", regardless of how poorly the Thunder shoot from 3.
Night 1 (or any night) of the regular season simply cannot "feel like the playoffs", regardless of how poorly the Thunder shoot from 3.
October 22, 2025 at 8:25 PM
Congrats to everyone on setting a new record for violating the Playoff Atmosphere rule.
Night 1 (or any night) of the regular season simply cannot "feel like the playoffs", regardless of how poorly the Thunder shoot from 3.
Night 1 (or any night) of the regular season simply cannot "feel like the playoffs", regardless of how poorly the Thunder shoot from 3.
Would love to know if the #1 pick in the draft could hear his home broadcast team having a lengthy, animated discussion about college football 7 minutes into his first game.
Welcome to Dallas, kid.
Welcome to Dallas, kid.
October 7, 2025 at 3:23 AM
Would love to know if the #1 pick in the draft could hear his home broadcast team having a lengthy, animated discussion about college football 7 minutes into his first game.
Welcome to Dallas, kid.
Welcome to Dallas, kid.
Imagine A-Rod coming off the baseline to clothesline Ant Edwards as he's about throw down a series-winning dunk with :02 left in a Game 6.
That's literally almost exactly what happened here. Just the absolute dumbest move at the worst possible moment.
That's literally almost exactly what happened here. Just the absolute dumbest move at the worst possible moment.
"Two years ago I'd probably say something dumb. I mean, he's a dumbass for that move for sure, I don't care he's my boss or not. But we're going for the win, I hate that we gave it to Chevrolet, there."
September 29, 2025 at 1:34 AM
Imagine A-Rod coming off the baseline to clothesline Ant Edwards as he's about throw down a series-winning dunk with :02 left in a Game 6.
That's literally almost exactly what happened here. Just the absolute dumbest move at the worst possible moment.
That's literally almost exactly what happened here. Just the absolute dumbest move at the worst possible moment.
Shildtren of Men.
Kudos to the camera guy who went out to the mound and landed a 31-second tracking shot
September 23, 2025 at 2:56 PM
Shildtren of Men.
I can't believe a reputable publication like The Onion would even insinuate that anyone in Oklahoma would risk the near-certainty of starting a wildfire just to burn 1 witch.
September 10, 2025 at 7:43 PM
I can't believe a reputable publication like The Onion would even insinuate that anyone in Oklahoma would risk the near-certainty of starting a wildfire just to burn 1 witch.
Middle-aged man with beard started screaming his (remarkably vulgar) Yankees opinions in my face outside Daikin Park tonight. I responded with a "Ma'am, please control your child" to his partner. Got a big laugh from everyone in the vicinity (man-baby excepted); diffused the situation quite well.
September 4, 2025 at 3:56 AM
Middle-aged man with beard started screaming his (remarkably vulgar) Yankees opinions in my face outside Daikin Park tonight. I responded with a "Ma'am, please control your child" to his partner. Got a big laugh from everyone in the vicinity (man-baby excepted); diffused the situation quite well.
The fact that Dillon Jones consumed 5% of the Thunder's regular season mins means that OKC played even more garbage time than I remember, or this chart includes all of his minutes standing at the scoring table as Permanent Sub.
Not much action in the last few weeks, but here's where teams stand in regard to continuity from last season...
September 2, 2025 at 3:26 PM
The fact that Dillon Jones consumed 5% of the Thunder's regular season mins means that OKC played even more garbage time than I remember, or this chart includes all of his minutes standing at the scoring table as Permanent Sub.
The gerontocracy must be stopped. These dudes, while extremely likeable, are like, my age.
CONFIRMED: Sergio Perez and Valtteri Bottas will race for Cadillac in 2026 racer.com/2025/08/26/c... #F1
Cadillac F1 confirms Bottas, Perez for 2026 | RACER
Cadillac has confirmed its first driver line-up in Formula 1 will be formed by Sergio Perez and Valtteri Bottas in 2026.F1’s newest entrant will join the grid next season, and has been targeting exper...
racer.com
August 26, 2025 at 2:44 PM
The gerontocracy must be stopped. These dudes, while extremely likeable, are like, my age.
Difficult to overstate the degree of difficulty of winning from 4 rows back like this. It's like, 50 consecutive correct driver/spotter decisions in about 100 seconds, all executed perfectly, in aggressively treacherous conditions. Like playing a sax while walking across hot coals or something.
August 24, 2025 at 8:29 AM
Difficult to overstate the degree of difficulty of winning from 4 rows back like this. It's like, 50 consecutive correct driver/spotter decisions in about 100 seconds, all executed perfectly, in aggressively treacherous conditions. Like playing a sax while walking across hot coals or something.
A fun exercise would be getting a panel of the smartest baseball people to guess the sequence of events that led to Stanton staying in at RF after this pinch-hit AB.
0% chance they ever arrive at "it all started when Bill Miller sorta made up his own version of the 3-pickoff-attempts rule..."
0% chance they ever arrive at "it all started when Bill Miller sorta made up his own version of the 3-pickoff-attempts rule..."
August 21, 2025 at 3:01 AM
A fun exercise would be getting a panel of the smartest baseball people to guess the sequence of events that led to Stanton staying in at RF after this pinch-hit AB.
0% chance they ever arrive at "it all started when Bill Miller sorta made up his own version of the 3-pickoff-attempts rule..."
0% chance they ever arrive at "it all started when Bill Miller sorta made up his own version of the 3-pickoff-attempts rule..."
Hair Club for Gen-Z
Trae Young became the first member of an undesirable club last season 😯 bit.ly/3HcP3tL
August 13, 2025 at 1:02 PM
Hair Club for Gen-Z
Seriously rad that despite owing us nothing, Bubba's still willing to be to be as emotionally available as any athlete in any sport. Like, the prompt is "pretty humid today, huh?" and 2 minutes later he's disclosing intimate details about his battles with negative self-talk. What a guy.
Bubba Wallace’s full interview with TNT is worth the watch
Bubba Wallace Emotional Interview After Winning the Brickyard 400 | NASCAR on TNT
YouTube video by Bleacher Report
youtu.be
July 28, 2025 at 5:51 AM
Seriously rad that despite owing us nothing, Bubba's still willing to be to be as emotionally available as any athlete in any sport. Like, the prompt is "pretty humid today, huh?" and 2 minutes later he's disclosing intimate details about his battles with negative self-talk. What a guy.
The NBA giving him their version of the Best New Artist Grammy is going to do wonders for my 1-man crusade to make "Fili Vanilli" stick as a nickname.
July 23, 2025 at 3:28 AM
The NBA giving him their version of the Best New Artist Grammy is going to do wonders for my 1-man crusade to make "Fili Vanilli" stick as a nickname.
The only substantive takeaway from this summer league is that (and I believe official arbitor @yourmandevine.bsky.social would verify) Johnny [the Baptist?] Furphy Lives Mas.
that dunk (via ESPN)
July 15, 2025 at 7:04 AM
The only substantive takeaway from this summer league is that (and I believe official arbitor @yourmandevine.bsky.social would verify) Johnny [the Baptist?] Furphy Lives Mas.
The simplest explanation here is that there's like a CONCACAF+ tier that comes with VAR, but Berhalter had the password and now they can't in to the account and the subscription is expired, and it's just been like, a whole thing with customer support for months now.
July 7, 2025 at 2:25 AM
The simplest explanation here is that there's like a CONCACAF+ tier that comes with VAR, but Berhalter had the password and now they can't in to the account and the subscription is expired, and it's just been like, a whole thing with customer support for months now.
The Bucks stretched and waived 22.5 Kyle Singlers.
The Milwaukee Bucks decided to waive-and-stretch the $112.6 million owed to Damian Lillard. That is not only the largest stretch-waive ever in NBA history, it's more than the combined sum of the previous three largest stretch-waive contracts I could find (Joakim Noah, Deron Williams, Nic Batum).
July 2, 2025 at 1:06 AM
The Bucks stretched and waived 22.5 Kyle Singlers.
It was makes total sense if they (along with everyone else buying out/waiving capable players) are creating a paper trail of upsetting basketball decisions to brandish about wildly during the next round of CBA negotiations.
wtf are the bucks doing?
July 1, 2025 at 3:36 PM
It was makes total sense if they (along with everyone else buying out/waiving capable players) are creating a paper trail of upsetting basketball decisions to brandish about wildly during the next round of CBA negotiations.
Straight up mean of the Knicks to bring in the most Thibs player ever immediately after firing Thibs.
FROM SHAMS:
Free agent center Guerschon Yabusele has agreed to a two-year, $12 million contract with the New York Knicks, plus a player option, sources tell ESPN. The Knicks negotiated the new deal with agents Olivier Mazet and Richie Felder for the big man on Tuesday.
Free agent center Guerschon Yabusele has agreed to a two-year, $12 million contract with the New York Knicks, plus a player option, sources tell ESPN. The Knicks negotiated the new deal with agents Olivier Mazet and Richie Felder for the big man on Tuesday.
July 1, 2025 at 3:18 PM
Straight up mean of the Knicks to bring in the most Thibs player ever immediately after firing Thibs.