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surprisedface.bsky.social
Surprised Face Guy
@surprisedface.bsky.social
8.3K followers 540 following 17K posts
You could be one of my first 10,000 followers. Time is not running out.

Ranked one of the Top 10 Surprised Face Guys on Bluesky, 2023.

Sorry in advance: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaaly5qgvbn52
Posts Replies Media Videos
surprisedface.bsky.social
It should be possible to change your PFP facial expression based on the content of the post. Lots of people posting news about the ICE murders have PVPs like
White dude that probably murder/suicided his Christian family is smiling and giving two thumbs up.
January 9, 2026 at 7:17 AM
surprisedface.bsky.social
One of my most firmly held beliefs.
Bunch of posts by me over the past few years saying “hate ages you quickly but also keeps you alive.”
December 16, 2025 at 9:50 PM
surprisedface.bsky.social
Why. Are. Their. Eyes. Always. Like. That.
bsky.app/profile/surp...
Natalie Baldassarre E.J. Antoni Stephanie Turner
December 13, 2025 at 7:40 AM
surprisedface.bsky.social
Lots to unpack here.
Word cloud visualization for 2025 showing your 50 most-used words, sized by frequency. Top 10: "wife" (172×), "shit" (99×), "those" (99×), "fuck" (84×), "trump" (79×), "call" (71×), "kids" (67×), "called" (66×), "posts" (63×), "tell" (60×) (from Anisota's Annual Bluesky Harvest)
December 5, 2025 at 7:51 AM
surprisedface.bsky.social
Look at these bad ass mfs
Bubble chart visualization showing accounts you interacted with, sized by total interactions across all engagement types in 2025. Top interacted accounts: @dly.bsky.social, @ceej.online, @xinicit.bsky.social, @trickykat.bsky.social, @stefanthinks.bsky.social (from Anisota's Annual Bluesky Harvest)
December 5, 2025 at 7:50 AM
surprisedface.bsky.social
I love all of you.
A news article that has a smiling couple on it that says in the underneath text “study shows the strongest friendships come from hating the same people and things.”
November 21, 2025 at 6:38 AM
surprisedface.bsky.social
I watched this with Closed Captioning on and when I saw this I was like "there's no way to know if this is an error or not."
Screenshot of RFK Jr, mid orgasm, with closed captioning that says "effects on human elves in this country, and I want to thank the president." I think he said "lives" but you never know with him.
November 6, 2025 at 5:27 PM
surprisedface.bsky.social
Meanwhile, at the RNC headquarters:
the last panel of the arrested development meme. in the earlier, non pictured part of the meme, the character talks about how these things never work but people delude themselves to thinking this time it will work. Then, typically in this panel (though it is not blank), the character says "but it might work for us"
November 6, 2025 at 12:05 AM
surprisedface.bsky.social
I have an idea
A screenshot from Google showing SNAP costs 100 billion per year A screenshot from Google showing police cost 140 billion per year.
October 30, 2025 at 1:11 AM
surprisedface.bsky.social
I bought 3
I don’t know how to explain this so bear with me. It is an add for wall art on Temu with the caption “Temu’s prices have me in awe” that has a blonde woman in athleisure posing sexy on a couch except she is AI generated so she has a third leg coming out of her crotch area that also looks like her butt with a misshapen foot that is connected to her other leg which is beaky awkwardly and has what can best be described as a double foot, where the top of her foot is actually the bottom of a second foot.
October 25, 2025 at 6:07 AM
surprisedface.bsky.social
me, getting a tour of the white house in 9 months
Beauty and the Beast panel, where beast is saying "The castle is your home now, you can go anywhere you like, except the east wing", Belle responds with "what's in the east w-" and is interrupted by beast yelling IT IS FORBIDDEN.
October 23, 2025 at 7:31 PM
surprisedface.bsky.social
the markets have spoken re:assassinations
All stock market indices up a huge number today. Dow up 600 points.
September 12, 2025 at 12:33 AM
surprisedface.bsky.social
Had to check
Search for “does Utah have orcas” and the answer is no
September 10, 2025 at 7:54 PM
surprisedface.bsky.social
Erin did you ever see this one
Tweet that says “Amanda @Manda_like_wine What's your favourite painting of Nicolas Cage trying to breastfeed a smaller Nicolas Cage? Here's mine:” And it’s a real painting that looks exactly like it’s described.
August 30, 2025 at 1:54 AM
surprisedface.bsky.social
Guys, I'm multilingual.
Me typing a bunch of explanation points and bluesky asking me if I'm writing in Korean.
August 27, 2025 at 6:33 AM
surprisedface.bsky.social
Look at this bullshit. This is an appointment. This is what an appointment is.
If the forms are filled out, we really need you to arrive at least 30 minutes prior to their appointment time to allow enough time to perform hearing test, vision test, hemoglobin and urine (the word "analysis" is cut off)
August 22, 2025 at 10:10 PM
surprisedface.bsky.social
I hope the bullets weren’t injured 😕

Also, let’s not miss that the cops didn’t do shit. The dude gave himself up because random bystanders talked him out of it.
Two police officers responding to a domestic disturbance call were shot and killed in Utah and a man was taken into custody after bystanders persuaded him to drop the gun, authorities said Monday.
August 18, 2025 at 6:43 PM
surprisedface.bsky.social
the "this elevator is abuse free" guy - a photo of a guy in his 40s with his hand on his heart and an elevator open, from a Twitter post he made where he wrote "this elevator is abuse free" but it actually makes him look like a total creep.
August 12, 2025 at 11:17 PM
surprisedface.bsky.social
the unblurred version will cost you $9.95
Two 12 inch rulers (aka, two feet) that are blurred out.
August 12, 2025 at 8:55 PM
surprisedface.bsky.social
I mean, come on. This is art.
Armond White giving a rotten to Princess Bride, which otherwise has 96% on Rotten Tomatoes Armond White Giving a Rotten to Past Lives, which otherwise has a 95% on Rotten Tomatoes Armond White, in succession (meaning, he reviewed these one after another), giving a "rotten" to Truman Show, One False Move, Oppenheimer, Barbie, and Mission Impossible Dead Reckoning which are all at this point about 90 to 95% positive on Rotten Tomatoes. Armond White giving a "Fresh" positive rating to Dirty Grandpa, which has a 10% positive review rating on Rotten Tomatoes
August 5, 2025 at 8:59 PM
surprisedface.bsky.social
Quick, someone tell me how to monetize this
Screenshot showing that "oldmcdonaldhadafarmeie.io" is available for purchase. Just in case the screen readers do not adequately state the domain, the domain is "Old McDonald Had a Farm E I E dot I O."
July 30, 2025 at 9:10 AM
surprisedface.bsky.social
they called him a pioneer
Screenshot showing no one used the term “fingeratively” before on Bluesky.
July 23, 2025 at 8:26 AM
surprisedface.bsky.social
Got a car with one of those augmented reality windshields and I'm not sure it's working.
4 cybertrucks on a freeway, each one with one of those red "sex offender registry" symbols atop it.
July 23, 2025 at 12:28 AM
surprisedface.bsky.social
REST IN PISS ASSHOLE
the Phillie Phanatic, a large green character made with green fur and a hose-like nose for sucking shit.
July 21, 2025 at 8:08 AM
surprisedface.bsky.social
I mean, they’re right, in sense.
Me searching for “how to check for dick termites” and Google responding by correcting me, telling me I actually mean “drywood termites” which is sorta correct in a way.
July 14, 2025 at 10:46 PM