𝒜𝓁𝓎𝓈𝓈𝒶 🔞
@tailfloof.bsky.social
A weird skunk/cow/mom hybrid! | 32 | she/her | occasional NSFW, minors get out!
So I know "people being horny for Shrek" is literally an entire genre of comedy online but I think Shrek might be the genuine dividing line between "actual monsterfuckers" and "monster musume fans"
December 25, 2025 at 9:03 AM
So I know "people being horny for Shrek" is literally an entire genre of comedy online but I think Shrek might be the genuine dividing line between "actual monsterfuckers" and "monster musume fans"
Interesting how the people most mad about "Happy Holidays" (as opposed to "Merry Christmas") are the same ones who think any criticism of Israel is antisemitism. Like, what other holidays do you think people are talking about? I'm pretty sure it's not typically Saturnalia.
December 16, 2025 at 3:30 PM
Interesting how the people most mad about "Happy Holidays" (as opposed to "Merry Christmas") are the same ones who think any criticism of Israel is antisemitism. Like, what other holidays do you think people are talking about? I'm pretty sure it's not typically Saturnalia.
Random thought: could a knotted dick actually tie in a regular fleshlight? I feel like they're so uniformly soft and stretchy there wouldn't really be anything for the knot to tug against.
December 15, 2025 at 6:59 AM
Random thought: could a knotted dick actually tie in a regular fleshlight? I feel like they're so uniformly soft and stretchy there wouldn't really be anything for the knot to tug against.
Is anyone else down horrendous for the whole "serious bottom energy, actually leans top and is good af at it" thing or just me
December 13, 2025 at 7:18 PM
Is anyone else down horrendous for the whole "serious bottom energy, actually leans top and is good af at it" thing or just me
Hot take: Dark Souls is hot garbage for reasons that have nothing to do with difficulty. The combat is molasses slow, basically a turn-based game where you've got to figure out when it's your turn. Even once you've got the cheap ambushes and enemy attack patterns figured out, it's an absolute slog.
December 12, 2025 at 12:35 PM
Hot take: Dark Souls is hot garbage for reasons that have nothing to do with difficulty. The combat is molasses slow, basically a turn-based game where you've got to figure out when it's your turn. Even once you've got the cheap ambushes and enemy attack patterns figured out, it's an absolute slog.
Did anyone else grow up as the oldest child but still poor enough to have worn hand-me-downs from family friends or was that just me? Not complaining, the stuff I got from them was way nicer than the "thrift store or Walmart" stuff I got otherwise.
December 8, 2025 at 5:46 PM
Did anyone else grow up as the oldest child but still poor enough to have worn hand-me-downs from family friends or was that just me? Not complaining, the stuff I got from them was way nicer than the "thrift store or Walmart" stuff I got otherwise.
Mom sent me and my brother a Christmas card from Florida to Tennessee. He got his a couple days ago, and as of last night, mine is in North Dakota for some reason Dx
December 7, 2025 at 6:21 PM
Mom sent me and my brother a Christmas card from Florida to Tennessee. He got his a couple days ago, and as of last night, mine is in North Dakota for some reason Dx
I kind of enjoy knowing literally nothing about brands that exclusively make stuff I can't afford anyway. I used to have a regular customer at work who wore glasses with a big gaudy gold DG on the sides. Spent years thinking "Dollar General is getting weirdly bold with their branding".
December 4, 2025 at 6:20 PM
I kind of enjoy knowing literally nothing about brands that exclusively make stuff I can't afford anyway. I used to have a regular customer at work who wore glasses with a big gaudy gold DG on the sides. Spent years thinking "Dollar General is getting weirdly bold with their branding".
Gold bugs are so funny to me. Nobody is going to give you anything for your soft shitty metal they can't even make tools out of if society has collapsed, John.
December 3, 2025 at 4:11 AM
Gold bugs are so funny to me. Nobody is going to give you anything for your soft shitty metal they can't even make tools out of if society has collapsed, John.
I do not get the hype for GTA 6 when GTA 5 single-player got fully ignored and the online turned into hyper-monetized hell. Like, GTA 6 is going to have all the worst lessons they learned from 5 built in right from the beginning.
November 30, 2025 at 5:26 AM
I do not get the hype for GTA 6 when GTA 5 single-player got fully ignored and the online turned into hyper-monetized hell. Like, GTA 6 is going to have all the worst lessons they learned from 5 built in right from the beginning.
Hot take:
Jumpscares are the fart jokes of horror. Sure, they can still get the job done, and a well-executed one can actually be pretty excellent, but they're so cheap and easy, and if that's all you've got to offer it just makes the whole thing feel lazy and juvenile.
Jumpscares are the fart jokes of horror. Sure, they can still get the job done, and a well-executed one can actually be pretty excellent, but they're so cheap and easy, and if that's all you've got to offer it just makes the whole thing feel lazy and juvenile.
November 20, 2025 at 7:48 PM
Hot take:
Jumpscares are the fart jokes of horror. Sure, they can still get the job done, and a well-executed one can actually be pretty excellent, but they're so cheap and easy, and if that's all you've got to offer it just makes the whole thing feel lazy and juvenile.
Jumpscares are the fart jokes of horror. Sure, they can still get the job done, and a well-executed one can actually be pretty excellent, but they're so cheap and easy, and if that's all you've got to offer it just makes the whole thing feel lazy and juvenile.
Gender-affirming vampire who does bloodwork (by taste testing it) for trans people doing DIY HRT, is that anything?
November 11, 2025 at 4:29 PM
Gender-affirming vampire who does bloodwork (by taste testing it) for trans people doing DIY HRT, is that anything?
Doug Dimmadome's hat but it's an anime character's sword that's so big that it literally never completely fits in the frame
November 5, 2025 at 4:58 AM
Doug Dimmadome's hat but it's an anime character's sword that's so big that it literally never completely fits in the frame
Lukewarm take: dom-leaning switches are usually better doms than exclusive doms, because they understand what subs enjoy and how to make them submit better from their own experience subbing
November 1, 2025 at 8:45 PM
Lukewarm take: dom-leaning switches are usually better doms than exclusive doms, because they understand what subs enjoy and how to make them submit better from their own experience subbing
Not kinkshaming anyone, but findom is one of the like, four kinks that I still don't get. Like, do you also get off thinking about exploitative economic systems and business practices? If I suddenly got an itch for being exploited for financial gain, I'd start working in retail again.
November 1, 2025 at 8:39 PM
Not kinkshaming anyone, but findom is one of the like, four kinks that I still don't get. Like, do you also get off thinking about exploitative economic systems and business practices? If I suddenly got an itch for being exploited for financial gain, I'd start working in retail again.
I will never understand how people can know so little about their own car. Like fair enough if you don't know about cars in general, but this is the most expensive or second most expensive thing you own, and you use it every day.
October 25, 2025 at 3:24 AM
I will never understand how people can know so little about their own car. Like fair enough if you don't know about cars in general, but this is the most expensive or second most expensive thing you own, and you use it every day.
Just watched The Brave Little Toaster for the first time in at least 20 years and what the hell was going on in the 80s where kids' movies were just straight up nightmare fuel???
October 8, 2025 at 5:37 AM
Just watched The Brave Little Toaster for the first time in at least 20 years and what the hell was going on in the 80s where kids' movies were just straight up nightmare fuel???
For the last time, the unisex bathroom is for masturbating.
"uni" = "one"
"sex" = "sex"
It's literally the "sex for one" bathroom smh
The "family bathroom" is for getting knocked up in, that's why it's called the family bathroom, you're supposed to start a family in there
"uni" = "one"
"sex" = "sex"
It's literally the "sex for one" bathroom smh
The "family bathroom" is for getting knocked up in, that's why it's called the family bathroom, you're supposed to start a family in there
September 27, 2025 at 4:58 PM
For the last time, the unisex bathroom is for masturbating.
"uni" = "one"
"sex" = "sex"
It's literally the "sex for one" bathroom smh
The "family bathroom" is for getting knocked up in, that's why it's called the family bathroom, you're supposed to start a family in there
"uni" = "one"
"sex" = "sex"
It's literally the "sex for one" bathroom smh
The "family bathroom" is for getting knocked up in, that's why it's called the family bathroom, you're supposed to start a family in there
Emailed my timesheet to the HR lady like 20 minutes after it was technically supposed to be due with "Here's my time sheet, I hope I got it in on time!"
She replied with "You did!! Good job!!" and I'm gonna need to keep some backup underwear at work if she's gonna keep talking to me like that >\\\<
She replied with "You did!! Good job!!" and I'm gonna need to keep some backup underwear at work if she's gonna keep talking to me like that >\\\<
September 18, 2025 at 7:39 PM
Emailed my timesheet to the HR lady like 20 minutes after it was technically supposed to be due with "Here's my time sheet, I hope I got it in on time!"
She replied with "You did!! Good job!!" and I'm gonna need to keep some backup underwear at work if she's gonna keep talking to me like that >\\\<
She replied with "You did!! Good job!!" and I'm gonna need to keep some backup underwear at work if she's gonna keep talking to me like that >\\\<
My puppygirl ass finally getting around to watching Chainsaw Man and WHY DID NOBODY TELL ME ABOUT HOW HARD THEY GO ON THE PETPLAY IN THIS
September 1, 2025 at 6:20 AM
My puppygirl ass finally getting around to watching Chainsaw Man and WHY DID NOBODY TELL ME ABOUT HOW HARD THEY GO ON THE PETPLAY IN THIS
Who had a better glow-up: werewolves or witches?
August 30, 2025 at 4:47 PM
Who had a better glow-up: werewolves or witches?
Went to the tire shop and they wanted to do a "safety check" of my car before putting the tires I already ordered on, like, okay, you don't gotta try and sell me on getting new tires, I already bought them.
August 19, 2025 at 9:37 PM
Went to the tire shop and they wanted to do a "safety check" of my car before putting the tires I already ordered on, like, okay, you don't gotta try and sell me on getting new tires, I already bought them.
Anybody else compulsively pretend that therapy is helping you because you don't want your therapist to feel like a failure?
Like "damn this isn't really helping at all but I know they're really trying and I appreciate the effort and I don't want them to feel like they're just bad at their job"
Like "damn this isn't really helping at all but I know they're really trying and I appreciate the effort and I don't want them to feel like they're just bad at their job"
August 17, 2025 at 3:28 PM
Anybody else compulsively pretend that therapy is helping you because you don't want your therapist to feel like a failure?
Like "damn this isn't really helping at all but I know they're really trying and I appreciate the effort and I don't want them to feel like they're just bad at their job"
Like "damn this isn't really helping at all but I know they're really trying and I appreciate the effort and I don't want them to feel like they're just bad at their job"
Hey Google uhhhh what the fuck?
August 13, 2025 at 10:32 PM
Hey Google uhhhh what the fuck?
Was assigned to make an extremely dry PowerPoint for work about "synergy" and other buzzwords, and my boss asked me to add pictures to it.
Guess what picture I used for the slide about "excellence"?
Guess what picture I used for the slide about "excellence"?
August 13, 2025 at 5:47 PM
Was assigned to make an extremely dry PowerPoint for work about "synergy" and other buzzwords, and my boss asked me to add pictures to it.
Guess what picture I used for the slide about "excellence"?
Guess what picture I used for the slide about "excellence"?