Here's a photo of my friend and colleague, Jorge Bautista, getting shot in the face with a flashbang grenade. The ICE Agent is so afraid of Jorge (who was posing no threat) that he has wet himself. Please share this photo. Everyone needs to know what cowards ICE agents are.

Wake up! Forest Fires are woke now!

Let’s see - I’m being sentenced for 34 felonies on Friday, I’ve nominated a bunch of unschooled idiots for my cabinet, and I owe E Jean $483 million. What can I distract the idiots with?

What's everyone's first book of 2025? :)

PSA; Remember to (del)e[a]t(e) your cookies.

In 1964-65 humans created Medicare, Medicaid, food stamps, and Head Start. If you want to 'make America great again,' maybe revisit the era when you actually acted like you cared.

bro; "there is allways more fish in the see"

the fish; "eye see"

- when Ba'al tells me that I will meet everybody again in purgatory