Ashley J Johnson🎙️
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thatjackanapes.bsky.social
Ashley J Johnson🎙️
@thatjackanapes.bsky.social
410 followers 480 following 670 posts
Co-host of Film Broads podcast, ttrpg addict, filmmaker, audiobook producer/narrator, writer, she/her, queer 🌈
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thatjackanapes.bsky.social
Morgan's House MD moment

#wipsnips #writesky #amwiting
“Shut up. I have an idea.” Morgan rose. “Is he upstairs?” “When I left he was playing tables with your nephew,” said Kay, standing with her, but Morgan was already striding away, calling back over her shoulder. “Thanks for the advice. When the king’s ear belongs to me, I’ll make certain you keep your job.” “You’re a canny shrew, Queen Morgan,” Kay called after her.
December 2, 2025 at 3:45 AM
thatjackanapes.bsky.social
Post someone who looks good in sunglasses... 🖤
Gideon Nav from the locked tomb series by Tamsyn Muir
November 24, 2025 at 10:05 AM
thatjackanapes.bsky.social
He's taking that L

#wipsnips #writesky #amwriting
“My darling, I have never belonged anywhere,” he said, his voice at once melancholy and jesting. Intrigued, Morgan rolled to her back to give him her whole attention. “I am the third son,” he explained. “My father is not a wealthy lord, and I was a burden. I was sent away to serve other lords, to fight for them… and I feel shame to admit I was never a great knight. I think I was still a burden.” He played idly with a lock of her hair, eyes downcast. “But when my king needed men to fight for your royal brother, and my cousin decided to cross the sea with him, I thought I could start fresh. Make a new name for myself. But here, I am just a brainless foreigner, and still not a good knight.”
November 20, 2025 at 7:05 AM
thatjackanapes.bsky.social
Jk... unless...?

#wipsnips #writesky #amwriting
Morgan’s legs felt as wobbly as a new colt, and she found herself hanging off his shoulders, his arm caught around her waist to support her. Still breathless, they settled into stillness as Morgan found her feet again, and she looked up into his face with a flustered grin. He smiled down at her, a tiny snowflake caught on his eyelash, and as their air came back to them they searched one another’s faces, their expressions melting into something more pensive. Slowly, Morgan pressed up toward him, her progress meditative in its pace, until she could feel his shallow breaths upon her face.
November 16, 2025 at 4:02 AM
thatjackanapes.bsky.social
The crop oh nooo
A screenshot of the original post where the crop on the link image makes the graphic read "ass everet'
October 31, 2025 at 3:51 PM
thatjackanapes.bsky.social
Well that's awkward

#wipsnips #writesky #amwriting
The magic was done, and Merlin could not deceive her as long as the cord remained intact and the talisman unbroken. With the fire burning before them, Morgan turned to look at Merlin again, who was staring out at the distant black waves. It was time to ask the question they both knew she would ask him from the moment she agreed to do the spell. “Why did you take me as a pupil?” Merlin didn’t turn to look at her, his eyes still fixed on the crashing sea. “Because I’m going to die,” he said.
October 30, 2025 at 6:24 PM
thatjackanapes.bsky.social
Don't worry, I'm still fun
A photo of Hades 2 downloading on a steam deck
September 25, 2025 at 4:47 PM
thatjackanapes.bsky.social
My three-year-old has been mainlining Halloween animatronics videos for weeks. We took her into Spirit today and it was like we were at Disneyland
A preschool girl in a lime green skull mask
September 21, 2025 at 12:21 AM
thatjackanapes.bsky.social
Here's your mystery baby sir

#wipsnips #writesky #amwriting
“My name is Cadoc,” he said compassionately. “I am a priest.” “I am Morgan,” she said, and then didn’t know what to say after it. Cadoc did not seem to expect more. “Tell me, Morgan, who would want harm done to an innocent child?” “A king,” she said, her voice failing her. “Are you the mother?” Cadoc asked, and Morgan realized she had no way of knowing whose baby this was. There was a one in thirteen chance that he was Lydia’s, but even in that unlikely event she couldn’t possibly bring the boy to Camelot. “No.”
September 5, 2025 at 4:58 PM
thatjackanapes.bsky.social
Visiting the ex

#wipsnips #writesky #amwriting
“Morgan,” he said curiously, “how unexpected.” “Is there a reason I am made to stand outside in the cold like a beggar?” Morgan approached him, scowling. He looked different, his beard cropped shorter than she had seen it in many years, as though it had been shorn off and was beginning to grow back. It seemed that Rience’s beard-cloak might actually be real. Stiffly, Uriens offered her his arm, and she took it. “Forgive these men. You know how superstitious folk are here. Arriving as you did, they feared you were some kind of fairy,” he explained, leading her through the yard to the inner ward. “I’ll admit to some wonder as to how you’ve come here.”
August 27, 2025 at 5:17 PM
thatjackanapes.bsky.social
Went to a crazy Lao house party tonight and sang karaoke. We had to dip early, but I'm sure it's only gotten wilder since we left
August 24, 2025 at 3:36 AM
thatjackanapes.bsky.social
Yuck

#wipsnips #writesky #amwriting
With a harrowing horn blast, Arthur’s mounted cavalry trotted forward, then cantered, moving closer and closer to Nero’s vanguard until charging into a gallop, lances at the ready. If Morgan had found tournament jousting unpleasant, it was nothing compared to the explosion of wood and steel and flesh as they slammed into their targets. The line broke, and a sickening melee began as knights clashed with knights, first on horseback and then on foot as they were toppled or dragged to the ground.
August 23, 2025 at 8:07 PM
thatjackanapes.bsky.social
Had to do a double take when I saw Audible promoting a book like this. @miniminuteman.bsky.social do you know what this guy's deal is? I notice he's been bumped by the likes of the esteemed Graham Hancock.
A screenshot of the audiobook cover of "The Giants Who Ruled America: The Missing Skeletons and the Great Smithsonian Cover-Up" by Richard J. Dewhurst. Narrated by Nick McDougal.
August 22, 2025 at 6:18 PM
thatjackanapes.bsky.social
The Bright Sword x Lady Macbeth

The outcast Queen Morgan must use wit, cunning, and magic to persevere in the budding court of King Arthur. Can she find her place before she loses her soul, or her life?

#posterpit #W #HF #F #A
A poster for a book titled "Witch, Fairy, Queen." It has a solid light green background. The words "witch" and "fairy" are scrawled in bright red, with the word "queen" written in an elegant and ornate font in soft yellow. Behind the words is a dark green line drawing of a sword, point down. Beside it is a cutout photograph of a woman in an elegant medieval gown and long veil, with a dripping red crown scribbled over the top her face. In the bottom corner in bright red, in the same ornate font, is the tagline "Some legends are built on lies." Across the top in light yellow are the phrases "Re-imagining," "Anti-historical," and "Dark comedy." Below them are the words "A novel by Ashley J Johnson."
August 16, 2025 at 7:21 AM
thatjackanapes.bsky.social
Medieval fake news
#wipsnips #writesky #amwriting
“Well, sire, I only thank God that the matter is settled, and that Britons can cease fighting Britons. The Saxons at the northern shores are enemy enough.” “Damned Saxons.” Sir Brastias inserted himself into the conversation. “Been fighting them all my life. Was there when Uther drove them out of Verulamium. Well, the knights drove them out. Uther was sort of propped up on a horse, rather ill. They brought him Hengist’s son, had him lop his head off just so we could say he’d done it. Bit of a sad affair, really.”
August 15, 2025 at 5:45 AM
thatjackanapes.bsky.social
Loving the toy foods that came with this woke toy cash register
Toy foods that came with a kids cash register: gluten free breakfast cereal, instant miso soup, frijoles y arroz, and soy milk
August 15, 2025 at 1:47 AM
thatjackanapes.bsky.social
THE BRIGHT SWORD x LADY MACBETH

Abandoned at the court of young King Arthur, Morgan finds a surprising ally in the man who destroyed her family: the sorcerer Merlin. But when justice clashes with survival and love is threatened by duty, courtly life can be a real witch.
#questpit #W #A #HF
A graphic with cutouts of figures from classical art. On the left side is a man in black robes, carrying a book, his head out of frame. On the right side is a woman in a jeweled green gown and a white cape, her head out of frame. Between them in streaky red writing is the title "Witch, Fairy Queen" and below that, in medieval-looking lettering it says, "You ruined my life, motherf**er. Teach. Me. Magic."
August 6, 2025 at 3:30 PM
thatjackanapes.bsky.social
26. Confession

#fantasyindiesjuly
“What’s going on?” she asked, bewildered, as Arthur paced rapidly around the room. With a fist pressed to his mouth he approached her again, wincing with his whole body even as he stood inches from her. He opened his mouth, closed it, then opened his mouth again and let out the faintest whisper. “I fucked Morgause.”
July 27, 2025 at 6:37 PM
thatjackanapes.bsky.social
Got im

#wipsnips #writesky #amwriting
“You’re angry with me, that much is plain,” he said at length. “I know of no other reason.” “You flatter yourself too much,” Morgan said, unable to prevent spite creeping into her tone. “My God, must everything be a battle with you?” Merlin threw his hands into the air in frustration. “I am only trying to apologize for wounding your feelings.” “You would have to be able to affect my feelings in order to wound them,” Morgan said coldly. Merlin’s brow knit deeper, and he shook his head.
July 27, 2025 at 6:27 PM
thatjackanapes.bsky.social
I just work here man

#wipsnips #writesky #amwriting
Morgan crossed her arms. He was having a conference without her? “Who is with him?” she asked. The guard shuffled his feet uncomfortably. “I’m sorry, Your Grace, I’m not sure whether I’m supposed to say.” Morgan sighed in exasperation. “Look, I’m just going to wait around and find out that way, unless his guest plans to climb out the window or disappear into thin air.” The guard’s expression shifted curiously and he hesitated, glancing at the door as if he was wondering whether whoever was inside might actually do that. “Fuck, he’s with Merlin, isn’t he?”
July 25, 2025 at 5:20 AM
thatjackanapes.bsky.social
Beach bonfire

#wipsnips #writesky #amwriting
Walking around the island, they found a spot sheltered from the wind and built a fire there, as much for light and warmth as anything. They would be there a while. As Morgan looked at the items in front of her and up at the full moon above them, an unexpected sense of calm came over her. She still felt the gravity of the moment, but she knew what she needed to do. She knew she was capable of it. The two of them sat bathed in the sound of the dark waves and the crackling fire until the hour of their work was nearly upon them. Then Merlin placed some chips of oak wood into the silver basin, along with sprigs of rosemary and asafoedita, and used a coal from the fire to light it.
July 21, 2025 at 6:05 AM
thatjackanapes.bsky.social
What's the big idea

#wipsnips #writesky #amwriting
“Consider me uninterested in whatever you’re doing, Uriens.” Morgan glanced around, wondering if Merlin was still lurking somewhere in the room. “Please, Morgan, hear me out. We have always pointed our thorns at one another. What if we were to join together? I see Lot and Morgause together, those two perfect idiots, and see what they accomplish in their unity.” Uriens took Morgan by the hand, his eyes intense as they stared into hers. “What could you and I do together if we stopped getting in one another’s way? What could we have if we stood united? You are beautiful, brilliant, and filled with more obstinate determination than any woman I’ve ever met.”
July 19, 2025 at 6:36 AM
thatjackanapes.bsky.social
It seems there's a contingent of nostalgia-bait giblets here who think concentrated orange juice doesn't exist anymore
A bluesky post with identifying details obscured. It's a photo of Minute Maid orange juice concentrate being dumped into a pitcher, and the post reads "I'm this old". It has 4K likes.
July 19, 2025 at 2:58 AM
thatjackanapes.bsky.social
What a nerd

#wipsnips #writesky #amwriting
For the rest of the ride, the procession from the chapel, and the duration of Mass, Morgan couldn’t keep her eyes off the smoke-white back of Merlin’s head. It seemed unreal that he could actually be there, existing in the same space as her. Her brush with him now felt more dream than memory, a remembrance of a remembrance, shrouded by the fog of grief. And yet, each time she encountered the Book of Proverbs, she was reminded of his words to her: The Lord has made everything for its purpose, even the wicked for the day of trouble.
July 17, 2025 at 5:17 AM
thatjackanapes.bsky.social
Isn't he a charmer

#wipsnips #writesky #amwriting
“Isn’t that a pretty sight?” Lot chuckled. “The three loveliest sisters in all the world. Come on, lads. I need to piss.” With no further acknowledgment, Lot mounted his saddle and rode away, leading the pack toward the green.
July 15, 2025 at 6:01 PM