If we’re putting Americans in UK @taskmaster.tv, I implore the producers to consider @pftompkins.bsky.social
January 6, 2026 at 9:33 PM
If we’re putting Americans in UK @taskmaster.tv, I implore the producers to consider @pftompkins.bsky.social
We’re living in the Biff Tannen timeline.
January 6, 2026 at 9:23 AM
We’re living in the Biff Tannen timeline.
This. This is what it’s all about.
January 6, 2026 at 3:31 AM
This. This is what it’s all about.
I’ve been informed that if I had ever actually played the game, I would know the dog will be fine.
I forgot that if I watch Fallout I’ll have to worry about the dog the whole time.
January 5, 2026 at 10:21 AM
I’ve been informed that if I had ever actually played the game, I would know the dog will be fine.
We have a massive garden (by Inner West Sydney standards) so this was a very obvious place to build the fairy garden.
January 3, 2026 at 11:08 AM
We have a massive garden (by Inner West Sydney standards) so this was a very obvious place to build the fairy garden.
I forgot that if I watch Fallout I’ll have to worry about the dog the whole time.
January 3, 2026 at 9:45 AM
I forgot that if I watch Fallout I’ll have to worry about the dog the whole time.
Parenting an only child worst case scenario: having to take their shit best friend with you on a family holiday to Ibiza only for the the pair of them get into a series of misadventures trying to launch their DJ careers and finally lose their virginities.
January 1, 2026 at 4:21 AM
Parenting an only child worst case scenario: having to take their shit best friend with you on a family holiday to Ibiza only for the the pair of them get into a series of misadventures trying to launch their DJ careers and finally lose their virginities.
A day spent at Dreamworld: the worst of sunburns and the best of mullets.
December 30, 2025 at 6:10 AM
A day spent at Dreamworld: the worst of sunburns and the best of mullets.
Watching Home Alone, or as my kid just called it, Little Losty Boy.
December 26, 2025 at 7:09 AM
Watching Home Alone, or as my kid just called it, Little Losty Boy.
Different Christmas songs and what they mean if you put them in a soundtrack
December 23, 2025 at 1:05 AM
Different Christmas songs and what they mean if you put them in a soundtrack
You just know Christopher Nolan’s The Odyssey gonna be long as fuck.
December 22, 2025 at 7:10 PM
You just know Christopher Nolan’s The Odyssey gonna be long as fuck.
Barton Grink
One Grinch After Another
the Grink Panther
December 20, 2025 at 6:18 AM
Barton Grink
I must expose a criminal. See the bottom Santa? The really good one, winner of the 5-7 years colouring comp. The work of one Will, aged 7… or was it? No! I coloured that one in! I left it on the table and some kid put their name on it! J'accuse Will! You stole my valour and I will have my revenge!
December 19, 2025 at 9:22 AM
I must expose a criminal. See the bottom Santa? The really good one, winner of the 5-7 years colouring comp. The work of one Will, aged 7… or was it? No! I coloured that one in! I left it on the table and some kid put their name on it! J'accuse Will! You stole my valour and I will have my revenge!
Babe what’s wrong? You’ve hardly touched your boner chips.
December 19, 2025 at 6:30 AM
Babe what’s wrong? You’ve hardly touched your boner chips.
This, but with my prescription in it.
December 17, 2025 at 11:14 AM
This, but with my prescription in it.
The festive shirts are out in force in the CBD today.
December 15, 2025 at 9:13 PM
The festive shirts are out in force in the CBD today.
Hey Australian news outlets, I don’t give a shit about what Netanyahu has to say about the horrors of yesterday, his opinion isn’t important right now.
December 15, 2025 at 2:27 AM
Hey Australian news outlets, I don’t give a shit about what Netanyahu has to say about the horrors of yesterday, his opinion isn’t important right now.
To the tune of Cruella de Vil
December 13, 2025 at 10:10 PM
To the tune of Cruella de Vil
I’m extremely proud of my office Christmas party costume: Studio 54 era Liza Minnelli
December 12, 2025 at 11:26 AM
I’m extremely proud of my office Christmas party costume: Studio 54 era Liza Minnelli
Shoes: Crocs
Dress: Aldi
Earrings: Dangerfield
Eye bags: A mildly inconvenient life
Dress: Aldi
Earrings: Dangerfield
Eye bags: A mildly inconvenient life
December 8, 2025 at 9:33 PM
Shoes: Crocs
Dress: Aldi
Earrings: Dangerfield
Eye bags: A mildly inconvenient life
Dress: Aldi
Earrings: Dangerfield
Eye bags: A mildly inconvenient life
When will men like Tarantino learn that the Days of the Edge Lords are over and The Epoch of Being a Little Sweetie (like Matthew Lillard and Paul Dano) has begun?
December 8, 2025 at 7:50 AM
When will men like Tarantino learn that the Days of the Edge Lords are over and The Epoch of Being a Little Sweetie (like Matthew Lillard and Paul Dano) has begun?
The northern hemisphere’s getting mad at bros wearing shorts in December but I want to talk about the performative wearing of jeans and jumpers when it’s 40C outside. Oh, you’re cold? Aww you’re so petite and tiny? Aww you have wittle bitty body fat? Fine, may the Winter return to freeze your bones.
December 8, 2025 at 4:18 AM
The northern hemisphere’s getting mad at bros wearing shorts in December but I want to talk about the performative wearing of jeans and jumpers when it’s 40C outside. Oh, you’re cold? Aww you’re so petite and tiny? Aww you have wittle bitty body fat? Fine, may the Winter return to freeze your bones.
We cracked it: Iron Tits
We need an insult for when a woman does a stupid, potentially dangerous thing to prove that she’s smarter/harder/braver than everyone else. Like ‘aw you’re a big man, aren’t ya’ but for gals. Something appropriately feminist but equally devastating.
December 6, 2025 at 9:37 PM
We cracked it: Iron Tits
Why do knees have to look like that though?
December 4, 2025 at 2:15 AM
Why do knees have to look like that though?
We need an insult for when a woman does a stupid, potentially dangerous thing to prove that she’s smarter/harder/braver than everyone else. Like ‘aw you’re a big man, aren’t ya’ but for gals. Something appropriately feminist but equally devastating.
November 26, 2025 at 5:52 AM
We need an insult for when a woman does a stupid, potentially dangerous thing to prove that she’s smarter/harder/braver than everyone else. Like ‘aw you’re a big man, aren’t ya’ but for gals. Something appropriately feminist but equally devastating.