Dan Layton
@theholygoat.bsky.social
Half man.
Half machine.
All fop.
danlayton.co.uk
Half machine.
All fop.
danlayton.co.uk
Pick up the nearest book. Turn to page 42, post the second sentence.
"Makes 12"
"Makes 12"
Pick up the nearest book. Turn to page 42, post the second sentence.
"It pulls at my clothing and sometimes I feel I've got to pick it up, cuddle and kiss it."
"It pulls at my clothing and sometimes I feel I've got to pick it up, cuddle and kiss it."
Pick up the nearest book. Turn to page 42, post the second sentence.
'In the evening we had a dance'.
'In the evening we had a dance'.
January 21, 2026 at 8:37 PM
Pick up the nearest book. Turn to page 42, post the second sentence.
"Makes 12"
"Makes 12"
Beta Cuck and Dudley Moore.
January 9, 2026 at 9:28 PM
Beta Cuck and Dudley Moore.
And a very Harpy Bipthday to you too.
January 3, 2026 at 12:06 PM
And a very Harpy Bipthday to you too.
Thoroughly enjoying my wine from The Gravy Castle.
December 25, 2025 at 2:39 PM
Thoroughly enjoying my wine from The Gravy Castle.
Can't help but feel like they missed a trick by not calling the company Dr. Dre(n).
December 22, 2025 at 10:50 AM
Can't help but feel like they missed a trick by not calling the company Dr. Dre(n).
Reposted by Dan Layton
Maybe it should be legally mandated that influencers must fight a professional boxer every 6 months
December 20, 2025 at 9:04 AM
Maybe it should be legally mandated that influencers must fight a professional boxer every 6 months
How I address bouncers after 5-7 pints.
November 28, 2025 at 7:40 AM
How I address bouncers after 5-7 pints.
Reposted by Dan Layton
I'm old.
If you're not, listen to this.
Get a guitar or some drums, or a trumpet. Pick up a brush, a pencil, some clay or a welder.
Just make shit. It doesn't have to be good (eventually it will be) just make music, art or write or whatever.
It's literally never been more important.
If you're not, listen to this.
Get a guitar or some drums, or a trumpet. Pick up a brush, a pencil, some clay or a welder.
Just make shit. It doesn't have to be good (eventually it will be) just make music, art or write or whatever.
It's literally never been more important.
November 27, 2025 at 4:21 AM
I'm old.
If you're not, listen to this.
Get a guitar or some drums, or a trumpet. Pick up a brush, a pencil, some clay or a welder.
Just make shit. It doesn't have to be good (eventually it will be) just make music, art or write or whatever.
It's literally never been more important.
If you're not, listen to this.
Get a guitar or some drums, or a trumpet. Pick up a brush, a pencil, some clay or a welder.
Just make shit. It doesn't have to be good (eventually it will be) just make music, art or write or whatever.
It's literally never been more important.
Not even December, but the local is Christmas'd-up already. Rather than being all Bah Humbug, I've decided to lean heavily into it and, as a result, will be drunk from now until January.
November 27, 2025 at 4:08 PM
Not even December, but the local is Christmas'd-up already. Rather than being all Bah Humbug, I've decided to lean heavily into it and, as a result, will be drunk from now until January.
Don't forget to leave a pumpkin and some cat litter out for Danzig when he comes down your chimney on this All Hallows Eve.
October 31, 2025 at 6:12 PM
Don't forget to leave a pumpkin and some cat litter out for Danzig when he comes down your chimney on this All Hallows Eve.
Had a pal round for beers and tunes, and introduced him to this hugely underappreciated and overlooked album. I have no idea what happened to them or whether they're still a going concern, but damnit if it doesn't hit a very niche post punk/goth/soundtrack spot.
October 26, 2025 at 8:41 PM
Had a pal round for beers and tunes, and introduced him to this hugely underappreciated and overlooked album. I have no idea what happened to them or whether they're still a going concern, but damnit if it doesn't hit a very niche post punk/goth/soundtrack spot.
The kid is at her cousin's for a sleepover, allowing me and Mrs L. to silently stare at our devices in peace.
October 19, 2025 at 4:05 PM
The kid is at her cousin's for a sleepover, allowing me and Mrs L. to silently stare at our devices in peace.
Looks like I'm saving 700 clams innit.
September 22, 2025 at 8:19 PM
Looks like I'm saving 700 clams innit.
Guess it's time to introduce myself to my new neighbours.
September 4, 2025 at 9:25 AM
Guess it's time to introduce myself to my new neighbours.
Purple Aki is popping or scratching wiv da angles now.
August 27, 2025 at 4:52 PM
Purple Aki is popping or scratching wiv da angles now.
Buying more records when I should be packing up the ones I already have for my impending house move is a genuine sickness.
August 23, 2025 at 11:00 AM
Buying more records when I should be packing up the ones I already have for my impending house move is a genuine sickness.
The existence of baby spinach also suggests the existence of toddler spinach, teenage spinach...you can see where this is going okay cheers then.
August 20, 2025 at 4:45 PM
The existence of baby spinach also suggests the existence of toddler spinach, teenage spinach...you can see where this is going okay cheers then.
A single solitary cloud, just chilling and minding its own business last night. Not a care in the world.
August 9, 2025 at 12:20 PM
A single solitary cloud, just chilling and minding its own business last night. Not a care in the world.
Driving to your mum's favourite holiday destination.
August 7, 2025 at 12:24 PM
Driving to your mum's favourite holiday destination.
I have now officially entered the "my perfect summer is 4 pints of well-kept English bitter and home" phase of my life.
August 3, 2025 at 11:41 AM
I have now officially entered the "my perfect summer is 4 pints of well-kept English bitter and home" phase of my life.
Age verification? Let's just say I'm far too old to die tragically young.
Age verification? I saw Return Of The Jedi at the cinema when it first came out.
Age verification? I can’t sit down without going aaaaahhhh…
July 11, 2025 at 6:46 AM
Age verification? Let's just say I'm far too old to die tragically young.
Bill Ward - not only proving that he's still a monstrous drummer, but also having the cojones for getting them out for the lads mid-set. Fair play, Bill mate.
July 6, 2025 at 4:28 PM
Bill Ward - not only proving that he's still a monstrous drummer, but also having the cojones for getting them out for the lads mid-set. Fair play, Bill mate.