The Mall Krampus
@themallkrampus.bsky.social
Excel Jockey and Aspiring Quirky Suburban Dad. GrillCath Supremacist. Mostly here for well-read snark & football. RT = Regrettable Tumescence, Likes = Stochastic RTs for someone else.
I'm reasonably sympathetic to the proposition that microblogging is an intrinsically corrupt and disordered format that stokes the worst impulses and degrades non-abstract eusocial impulses.
People who suggest increasing the character count are suggesting *eating* rather than smoking cigarettes
People who suggest increasing the character count are suggesting *eating* rather than smoking cigarettes
November 27, 2025 at 3:25 AM
I'm reasonably sympathetic to the proposition that microblogging is an intrinsically corrupt and disordered format that stokes the worst impulses and degrades non-abstract eusocial impulses.
People who suggest increasing the character count are suggesting *eating* rather than smoking cigarettes
People who suggest increasing the character count are suggesting *eating* rather than smoking cigarettes
Well Vancouver had seemed like they were picking up some momentum with a goal and way more aggression in the offensive zone but it’s now 4-1 and they‘ve gone empty net with four left in the third which… uh, never where you want to be
November 27, 2025 at 2:25 AM
Well Vancouver had seemed like they were picking up some momentum with a goal and way more aggression in the offensive zone but it’s now 4-1 and they‘ve gone empty net with four left in the third which… uh, never where you want to be
Ottawa really taking it to the expansion team two periods in (in terms of possession and shots on goal) though the Vancouver goalie has put up a decent battle to keep it to two ringers considering she’s seeing more pucks than a Kenneth Branaugh casting call
The PWHL is broadcasting the Vancouver Goldeneyes vs Ottawa Charge game on Youtube I guess so that’s something to eat dinner to
November 27, 2025 at 1:38 AM
Ottawa really taking it to the expansion team two periods in (in terms of possession and shots on goal) though the Vancouver goalie has put up a decent battle to keep it to two ringers considering she’s seeing more pucks than a Kenneth Branaugh casting call
Many such cases, tbh
The real problem, of course, is that what the Navy needs is focused, knowledgeable civilian leadership committed to holding it to account so that it actually develops a platform that is *cheap* and *semi-expendable* rather than stuffing it full of special requests and alterations.
November 27, 2025 at 1:33 AM
Many such cases, tbh
Some of you are going to be thinking about the horny journalism people on Thanksgiving Day and will not hate yourself enough for doing so
November 27, 2025 at 1:01 AM
Some of you are going to be thinking about the horny journalism people on Thanksgiving Day and will not hate yourself enough for doing so
The PWHL is broadcasting the Vancouver Goldeneyes vs Ottawa Charge game on Youtube I guess so that’s something to eat dinner to
November 27, 2025 at 12:43 AM
The PWHL is broadcasting the Vancouver Goldeneyes vs Ottawa Charge game on Youtube I guess so that’s something to eat dinner to
One additional downside of our political class becoming more cracked outedly-online is that they too would like news to move at the speed of posting
oh they definitely hadn't notified families yet
UPDATE: West Virginia governor tweets that there are conflicting reports of the condition of two national guard members, minutes after he posted that they had died
November 26, 2025 at 9:55 PM
One additional downside of our political class becoming more cracked outedly-online is that they too would like news to move at the speed of posting
Secret weapons for leftover turkey and egg noodle hotdish acquired
November 26, 2025 at 8:47 PM
Secret weapons for leftover turkey and egg noodle hotdish acquired
Reposted by The Mall Krampus
hearing Arkansas has made a hire
November 26, 2025 at 6:21 PM
hearing Arkansas has made a hire
How is it possible that I am one of like two dozen people in this enormous office building today and somebody is microwaving fish
November 26, 2025 at 6:21 PM
How is it possible that I am one of like two dozen people in this enormous office building today and somebody is microwaving fish
cursed if not incorrect
so basically all of these are real political tendencies now, I was so early
November 26, 2025 at 6:18 PM
cursed if not incorrect
Spending my lunch break rereading the rules for Skat (the card game, not the perversion, note the k you weirdos) as I do every Thanksgiving so that I can lose with dignity
November 26, 2025 at 5:59 PM
Spending my lunch break rereading the rules for Skat (the card game, not the perversion, note the k you weirdos) as I do every Thanksgiving so that I can lose with dignity
I guess in retrospect it was always going to build up to extremely weird discourse about other extremely weird discourse about Gender
I radically underestimated how busted the average user here is, apparently
Folks are really playing the bad take hits already and I’m unsure whether they are getting it out of their systems ahead of the holidays or just workshopping exactly how they’re going to be a burden on their families for dinner on Thursday
November 26, 2025 at 4:30 PM
I guess in retrospect it was always going to build up to extremely weird discourse about other extremely weird discourse about Gender
Want to see Craig’s take on this guy tbh
November 25, 2025 at 11:23 PM
Want to see Craig’s take on this guy tbh
Based on electricity price discourse and its direction I'm really looking forward to* everybody here landing on a NEVER BUILD intellectual consensus which will at least be really easy for Ds to glom onto because the new suburban base believes this generally
*I am not, really
*I am not, really
November 25, 2025 at 10:15 PM
Based on electricity price discourse and its direction I'm really looking forward to* everybody here landing on a NEVER BUILD intellectual consensus which will at least be really easy for Ds to glom onto because the new suburban base believes this generally
*I am not, really
*I am not, really
Reposted by The Mall Krampus
does he realize he's the modern version of Lions Stafford and Chase is the modern Calvin or not
Joe Burrow has some fond childhood memories of watching the Lions on Thanksgiving:
November 25, 2025 at 9:12 PM
does he realize he's the modern version of Lions Stafford and Chase is the modern Calvin or not
I radically underestimated how busted the average user here is, apparently
Folks are really playing the bad take hits already and I’m unsure whether they are getting it out of their systems ahead of the holidays or just workshopping exactly how they’re going to be a burden on their families for dinner on Thursday
November 25, 2025 at 7:50 PM
I radically underestimated how busted the average user here is, apparently
Reposted by The Mall Krampus
have just discovered that 0-11 UMass is playing their final game of the season (and their last chance to avoid going totally winless) at 4:30 pm Eastern time today
November 25, 2025 at 3:59 PM
have just discovered that 0-11 UMass is playing their final game of the season (and their last chance to avoid going totally winless) at 4:30 pm Eastern time today
Reposted by The Mall Krampus
NO, NOT UMASS AT THREE THIRTY PM ON A TUESDAY. YOU MADE THAT UP
We have ONE FINAL DAY of Midweek MACtion, and it starts early at 3:30pm Central.
Remember that if you're nearly Ypsilanti, all tickets are $5, and if you get there early enough, they'll have MACcoon scarves for the first people through the door!
Remember that if you're nearly Ypsilanti, all tickets are $5, and if you get there early enough, they'll have MACcoon scarves for the first people through the door!
November 25, 2025 at 2:43 PM
NO, NOT UMASS AT THREE THIRTY PM ON A TUESDAY. YOU MADE THAT UP
I don’t like Mondays ass answer
November 25, 2025 at 2:20 AM
I don’t like Mondays ass answer
Clerk-class people really are overindexed on wanting everything they consume to have something of the sublime and artisanal which honestly seems to me to be a driver of why they seem to be so goddamned unhappy because that kind of curation requires a shitload of work they are also too lazy for
November 24, 2025 at 11:51 PM
Clerk-class people really are overindexed on wanting everything they consume to have something of the sublime and artisanal which honestly seems to me to be a driver of why they seem to be so goddamned unhappy because that kind of curation requires a shitload of work they are also too lazy for
“A reflection on lit professors who were big favorites at the various Review[s] of Books &The New Yorker in the mid-aughts”
G17
Ogre seduces sleeping girl
in order
to devour her.
Ogre seduces sleeping girl
in order
to devour her.
November 24, 2025 at 11:46 PM
“A reflection on lit professors who were big favorites at the various Review[s] of Books &The New Yorker in the mid-aughts”
My interseries-quel movie opinions are “Solo is a fun but wholly forgettable matinee heist movie” and “Rogue One is kind of a mess with some very cool parts that redeem it in memory but rewatching it ruins this for a few months”
November 24, 2025 at 10:29 PM
My interseries-quel movie opinions are “Solo is a fun but wholly forgettable matinee heist movie” and “Rogue One is kind of a mess with some very cool parts that redeem it in memory but rewatching it ruins this for a few months”
Folks are really playing the bad take hits already and I’m unsure whether they are getting it out of their systems ahead of the holidays or just workshopping exactly how they’re going to be a burden on their families for dinner on Thursday
November 24, 2025 at 9:16 PM
Folks are really playing the bad take hits already and I’m unsure whether they are getting it out of their systems ahead of the holidays or just workshopping exactly how they’re going to be a burden on their families for dinner on Thursday