The Mall Krampus
@themallkrampus.bsky.social
Excel Jockey and Aspiring Quirky Suburban Dad. GrillCath Supremacist. Mostly here for well-read snark & football. RT = Regrettable Tumescence, Likes = Stochastic RTs for someone else.
One additional downside of our political class becoming more cracked outedly-online is that they too would like news to move at the speed of posting
oh they definitely hadn't notified families yet
UPDATE: West Virginia governor tweets that there are conflicting reports of the condition of two national guard members, minutes after he posted that they had died
November 26, 2025 at 9:55 PM
One additional downside of our political class becoming more cracked outedly-online is that they too would like news to move at the speed of posting
Secret weapons for leftover turkey and egg noodle hotdish acquired
November 26, 2025 at 8:47 PM
Secret weapons for leftover turkey and egg noodle hotdish acquired
Reposted by The Mall Krampus
hearing Arkansas has made a hire
November 26, 2025 at 6:21 PM
hearing Arkansas has made a hire
How is it possible that I am one of like two dozen people in this enormous office building today and somebody is microwaving fish
November 26, 2025 at 6:21 PM
How is it possible that I am one of like two dozen people in this enormous office building today and somebody is microwaving fish
cursed if not incorrect
so basically all of these are real political tendencies now, I was so early
November 26, 2025 at 6:18 PM
cursed if not incorrect
Spending my lunch break rereading the rules for Skat (the card game, not the perversion, note the k you weirdos) as I do every Thanksgiving so that I can lose with dignity
November 26, 2025 at 5:59 PM
Spending my lunch break rereading the rules for Skat (the card game, not the perversion, note the k you weirdos) as I do every Thanksgiving so that I can lose with dignity
I guess in retrospect it was always going to build up to extremely weird discourse about other extremely weird discourse about Gender
I radically underestimated how busted the average user here is, apparently
Folks are really playing the bad take hits already and I’m unsure whether they are getting it out of their systems ahead of the holidays or just workshopping exactly how they’re going to be a burden on their families for dinner on Thursday
November 26, 2025 at 4:30 PM
I guess in retrospect it was always going to build up to extremely weird discourse about other extremely weird discourse about Gender
Want to see Craig’s take on this guy tbh
November 25, 2025 at 11:23 PM
Want to see Craig’s take on this guy tbh
Based on electricity price discourse and its direction I'm really looking forward to* everybody here landing on a NEVER BUILD intellectual consensus which will at least be really easy for Ds to glom onto because the new suburban base believes this generally
*I am not, really
*I am not, really
November 25, 2025 at 10:15 PM
Based on electricity price discourse and its direction I'm really looking forward to* everybody here landing on a NEVER BUILD intellectual consensus which will at least be really easy for Ds to glom onto because the new suburban base believes this generally
*I am not, really
*I am not, really
Reposted by The Mall Krampus
does he realize he's the modern version of Lions Stafford and Chase is the modern Calvin or not
Joe Burrow has some fond childhood memories of watching the Lions on Thanksgiving:
November 25, 2025 at 9:12 PM
does he realize he's the modern version of Lions Stafford and Chase is the modern Calvin or not
I radically underestimated how busted the average user here is, apparently
Folks are really playing the bad take hits already and I’m unsure whether they are getting it out of their systems ahead of the holidays or just workshopping exactly how they’re going to be a burden on their families for dinner on Thursday
November 25, 2025 at 7:50 PM
I radically underestimated how busted the average user here is, apparently
Reposted by The Mall Krampus
have just discovered that 0-11 UMass is playing their final game of the season (and their last chance to avoid going totally winless) at 4:30 pm Eastern time today
November 25, 2025 at 3:59 PM
have just discovered that 0-11 UMass is playing their final game of the season (and their last chance to avoid going totally winless) at 4:30 pm Eastern time today
Reposted by The Mall Krampus
NO, NOT UMASS AT THREE THIRTY PM ON A TUESDAY. YOU MADE THAT UP
We have ONE FINAL DAY of Midweek MACtion, and it starts early at 3:30pm Central.
Remember that if you're nearly Ypsilanti, all tickets are $5, and if you get there early enough, they'll have MACcoon scarves for the first people through the door!
Remember that if you're nearly Ypsilanti, all tickets are $5, and if you get there early enough, they'll have MACcoon scarves for the first people through the door!
November 25, 2025 at 2:43 PM
NO, NOT UMASS AT THREE THIRTY PM ON A TUESDAY. YOU MADE THAT UP
I don’t like Mondays ass answer
November 25, 2025 at 2:20 AM
I don’t like Mondays ass answer
Clerk-class people really are overindexed on wanting everything they consume to have something of the sublime and artisanal which honestly seems to me to be a driver of why they seem to be so goddamned unhappy because that kind of curation requires a shitload of work they are also too lazy for
November 24, 2025 at 11:51 PM
Clerk-class people really are overindexed on wanting everything they consume to have something of the sublime and artisanal which honestly seems to me to be a driver of why they seem to be so goddamned unhappy because that kind of curation requires a shitload of work they are also too lazy for
“A reflection on lit professors who were big favorites at the various Review[s] of Books &The New Yorker in the mid-aughts”
G17
Ogre seduces sleeping girl
in order
to devour her.
Ogre seduces sleeping girl
in order
to devour her.
November 24, 2025 at 11:46 PM
“A reflection on lit professors who were big favorites at the various Review[s] of Books &The New Yorker in the mid-aughts”
My interseries-quel movie opinions are “Solo is a fun but wholly forgettable matinee heist movie” and “Rogue One is kind of a mess with some very cool parts that redeem it in memory but rewatching it ruins this for a few months”
November 24, 2025 at 10:29 PM
My interseries-quel movie opinions are “Solo is a fun but wholly forgettable matinee heist movie” and “Rogue One is kind of a mess with some very cool parts that redeem it in memory but rewatching it ruins this for a few months”
Folks are really playing the bad take hits already and I’m unsure whether they are getting it out of their systems ahead of the holidays or just workshopping exactly how they’re going to be a burden on their families for dinner on Thursday
November 24, 2025 at 9:16 PM
Folks are really playing the bad take hits already and I’m unsure whether they are getting it out of their systems ahead of the holidays or just workshopping exactly how they’re going to be a burden on their families for dinner on Thursday
behold, a thousand replies of Not Beating The Allegations
Archetypal example is “capitalism ground me down so I quit my job and set up a small business so that I’m my own boss”. You didn’t dislike capitalism! You disliked authority!
November 24, 2025 at 8:01 PM
behold, a thousand replies of Not Beating The Allegations
Every once and a while I have a post that goes biggish and it reminds me that being a mid-five digit or six digit follower account seems brainsearingly nightmarish
November 24, 2025 at 3:12 PM
Every once and a while I have a post that goes biggish and it reminds me that being a mid-five digit or six digit follower account seems brainsearingly nightmarish
Master-Blaster: The Offensive Coordinator
November 24, 2025 at 4:19 AM
Master-Blaster: The Offensive Coordinator
Reposted by The Mall Krampus
Pete Carroll has the chance to do the funniest thing.
November 24, 2025 at 4:04 AM
Pete Carroll has the chance to do the funniest thing.
once again I am forced to tap the sign on the "Advanced Degree But Inexplicably Cannot Read" website
The “lol comma??” piece actually does flick a part of my brain since in terms of being articulate & clear there’s a large Effort Disparity between posts where I want to say something interesting & those where I’m firing off an annoyed observation from the toilet.
Invariably the latter are my Virals
Invariably the latter are my Virals
Logging on the morning after a day of semivirality on a topic that touches the insane Id of Bluesky’s dumbest people definitely entails cluster nuking with the block function to the point of “Starship Troopers”-tier planet glassing
November 24, 2025 at 4:03 AM
once again I am forced to tap the sign on the "Advanced Degree But Inexplicably Cannot Read" website
The Venn Diagram of “lmao white people cook without SEASONING” posters (who are themselves extremely white) and “lmao turkey is impossible to cook tastily” is not quite a circle but my impression is awfully circular
November 23, 2025 at 11:25 PM
The Venn Diagram of “lmao white people cook without SEASONING” posters (who are themselves extremely white) and “lmao turkey is impossible to cook tastily” is not quite a circle but my impression is awfully circular