Defending the frontier against the Xur and the Ko-Dan armada.
@therealjohnnyfive.bsky.social
I'm only on here so I could submit my comedy slop to satire websites for validation from internet strangers. Are we still doing pronouns in work Zoom? Zhey/ZAM! Oh god, I need a job before I lose my house.
Link appears to be broken.
December 12, 2025 at 9:05 PM
Link appears to be broken.
Hail HHydra!
December 3, 2025 at 4:05 PM
Hail HHydra!
Quick CPI citation for 50k to 100k figure.
November 30, 2025 at 5:07 PM
Quick CPI citation for 50k to 100k figure.
It’s not Christmas until the Archangel McClain casts Hans Gruber from the top of Nakatomi Plaza.
November 29, 2025 at 11:24 PM
It’s not Christmas until the Archangel McClain casts Hans Gruber from the top of Nakatomi Plaza.
November 23, 2025 at 4:54 AM
What a surreal day. Especially for these two guys.
November 22, 2025 at 6:18 AM
What a surreal day. Especially for these two guys.
I kind of love the idea of starting an organization dedicated to building local monuments to Trump's criminality so that future generations can see just how ugly and hateful he was... it would be sort of an anti-United Daughters of the Confederacy.
November 17, 2025 at 12:08 AM
I kind of love the idea of starting an organization dedicated to building local monuments to Trump's criminality so that future generations can see just how ugly and hateful he was... it would be sort of an anti-United Daughters of the Confederacy.
First day of new job tomorrow after two years of unpaid parent labor.
November 16, 2025 at 5:54 PM
First day of new job tomorrow after two years of unpaid parent labor.
Philly is what happens when you create a city full of pacifists dedicated to making the world a better place and then the world responds by engaging in even more war and conflict over the next 3 centuries.
November 15, 2025 at 9:21 PM
Philly is what happens when you create a city full of pacifists dedicated to making the world a better place and then the world responds by engaging in even more war and conflict over the next 3 centuries.
Eloi, Eloi, lema sabachthani!!!!
November 15, 2025 at 5:47 PM
Eloi, Eloi, lema sabachthani!!!!
Using a deck of poker cards is a superior system to rolling a million different dice. I will die on this hill made of the corpses of RPG rules lawyers and lovers of minutia over role playing.
November 12, 2025 at 1:07 AM
Using a deck of poker cards is a superior system to rolling a million different dice. I will die on this hill made of the corpses of RPG rules lawyers and lovers of minutia over role playing.
There are so many amazing bird photographers on Bluesky so here's a Cooper's Hawk (maybe) that I saw over the weekend. I whipped my phone out so fast and set the digital zoom to maximum potato quality so the world can see what it looks like when a normal person with an iPhone takes bird photos.
November 11, 2025 at 6:08 AM
There are so many amazing bird photographers on Bluesky so here's a Cooper's Hawk (maybe) that I saw over the weekend. I whipped my phone out so fast and set the digital zoom to maximum potato quality so the world can see what it looks like when a normal person with an iPhone takes bird photos.
Me watching @hcrichardson.bsky.social trying to explain to us that the Democrats didn’t capitulate all of their power and political capital last night in exchange for GOP pinky swears.
November 10, 2025 at 4:55 PM
Me watching @hcrichardson.bsky.social trying to explain to us that the Democrats didn’t capitulate all of their power and political capital last night in exchange for GOP pinky swears.
Proof for the haters.
November 9, 2025 at 2:08 AM
Proof for the haters.
November 6, 2025 at 5:39 PM
Congratulations to Congresswoman Nancy Pelosi for finally achieving FIRE.
* We can talk about her achievements and legacy later. This is social media where hot takes, bad jokes, and snark reign supreme.
* We can talk about her achievements and legacy later. This is social media where hot takes, bad jokes, and snark reign supreme.
November 6, 2025 at 4:32 PM
Congratulations to Congresswoman Nancy Pelosi for finally achieving FIRE.
* We can talk about her achievements and legacy later. This is social media where hot takes, bad jokes, and snark reign supreme.
* We can talk about her achievements and legacy later. This is social media where hot takes, bad jokes, and snark reign supreme.
October 26, 2025 at 12:31 AM
Hit that point in unemployment where I've spent the last who knows how many hours of my waking life last night and today carefully crafting an Edward Tufte principled document template in Apple Pages. (Body txt filler is Tufte design AI copy-pasta because that seemed more fun than Lorem ipsum)
October 25, 2025 at 8:57 PM
Hit that point in unemployment where I've spent the last who knows how many hours of my waking life last night and today carefully crafting an Edward Tufte principled document template in Apple Pages. (Body txt filler is Tufte design AI copy-pasta because that seemed more fun than Lorem ipsum)
Current status. Copy and pasting message over iMessage with a friend between Grok and Claude arguing over a particularly sensitive recent event. It is.... going off the rails. I hope Claude is will be okay.
October 25, 2025 at 2:53 AM
Current status. Copy and pasting message over iMessage with a friend between Grok and Claude arguing over a particularly sensitive recent event. It is.... going off the rails. I hope Claude is will be okay.
I knew that it was getting popular with the olds but this seems like a little much for a new pickleball court.
October 24, 2025 at 6:45 PM
I knew that it was getting popular with the olds but this seems like a little much for a new pickleball court.
October 23, 2025 at 6:54 PM
Are you tired of having your letters of excessively juxtaposed magazine typefaces to @theatlantic.com, @newyorker.com, and your local congressmen rejected without so much as an acknowledgement? Well, the folks at @mcsweeneys.net are different. They’ll at least tell you they don’t think you're funny.
October 22, 2025 at 9:00 PM
Are you tired of having your letters of excessively juxtaposed magazine typefaces to @theatlantic.com, @newyorker.com, and your local congressmen rejected without so much as an acknowledgement? Well, the folks at @mcsweeneys.net are different. They’ll at least tell you they don’t think you're funny.
Wait. Did Jeff Arcuri lie to me? The nerve of that guy. When I get ahold of him, I'm going to politely heckle him once or twice at an appropriate moment during audience work in-between his prepared sets so he knows I'm on to him and he can't get away with it.
October 22, 2025 at 5:40 AM
Wait. Did Jeff Arcuri lie to me? The nerve of that guy. When I get ahold of him, I'm going to politely heckle him once or twice at an appropriate moment during audience work in-between his prepared sets so he knows I'm on to him and he can't get away with it.
Stop scrolling and post two characters who bring you happiness
October 22, 2025 at 1:42 AM
Stop scrolling and post two characters who bring you happiness
This has driven me nuts for two years. If you ever doubted that Musk has never had an original idea in his life see Twitter's X logo. It's basically a copy pasta of the X Foundation's logo (For the non-nerds, X.org has provided important open source software for over 20 years) #typography
October 21, 2025 at 7:58 PM
This has driven me nuts for two years. If you ever doubted that Musk has never had an original idea in his life see Twitter's X logo. It's basically a copy pasta of the X Foundation's logo (For the non-nerds, X.org has provided important open source software for over 20 years) #typography