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vanellopemint.bsky.social
🦋ShouldBeWriting🦋
@vanellopemint.bsky.social
76 followers 260 following 860 posts
I write, I read, I listen to metal/Band Maid.
1 micro story per day. These are written to a 500 character limit for Mastodon, so I’m posting a screen capture with full text in alt.
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vanellopemint.bsky.social
🦋ShouldBeWriting🦋 @vanellopemint.bsky.social · Feb 28
Microfiction - Tornado (OZ00)
Once there lived a lich named Lady Gygax - and by "lived" I mean she was not, technically, dead. She was undead. She was, in fact, a skeleton, although she always dressed well.
Her friend was a sorceress named Medea, and Medea had a raven familiar, who did not have a name.
One night Lady Gygax and the raven found themselves in a wooden house on the edge of town, when a surprise tornado carried them away.
Lady Gygax exclaimed, "Goodness! I knew I should have slept in my crypt!"
vanellopemint.bsky.social
Microfiction - Come With Us
"We wish to honor the first earthling into space," said the aliens, "by inviting them to join us on our journey across the cosmos." The earth representative frowned. "You must mean Yuri Gagarin? Unfortunately, he is long dead." "A minor detail, given our technology," the aliens replied, "and no, we do not refer to the human." The air grew bright and hot. Colors swirled. A dog appeared. Said the aliens, "Come with us, Laika. Join us on our journey." The dog barked happily.
December 26, 2025 at 2:37 PM
vanellopemint.bsky.social
Microfiction - Out of Sauce
At the Lute and Pillage Tavern, Anika the thief held a bottle above fried chicken. Nothing came out. "Hey barkeep!" she yelled. "I'm out of sauce!" Aleks glanced up. "Freydis!" he called out. "More wing sauce?" Without glancing up, a teenage girl in a school uniform waved her hand. A winged rat flew over and, like a dragon breathing fire, spewed forth a stream of orange sauce. Anika stared at her chicken. "I'm not sure if I should be impressed," she said, "or disgusted...."
December 24, 2025 at 4:58 PM
vanellopemint.bsky.social
Ghosts 7: A New Day
"I will live," said Unguent Lubricantum, "to destroy the past, present, and future! All three spirits of destruction shall strive within me!" "How shall we destroy the world today?" asked his chameleon familiar. The wizard paused. "That," he said, "can wait until I've had breakfast." After breakfast, the wizard said, "I shall consider the destruction of the world... tomorrow." On the morrow, he thought of many wonderful ways to destroy the world, and then content, he fell asleep.
December 23, 2025 at 2:44 PM
vanellopemint.bsky.social
Ghosts 6: Nice
The final ghost to appear before Unguent Lubricantum was a large, red giant sun. He rode a steed called the heat death of the universe. The wizard watched as the universe ended with a whimper. Then the ghost showed Unguent his own grave. The headstone said: He claimed to be evil, but he was sort of nice. Tears rolled down the wizard's face. "Nice? I'm remembered as sort of nice? No, Spirit, say it isn't so!"
December 22, 2025 at 2:44 PM
vanellopemint.bsky.social
Ghosts 5: Big Oil
The second ghost was a fat oil executive. "Call me Big Oil," he said with a laugh. "I'm here to show you how the world is being destroyed today!" "Isn't your destruction simply a byproduct of your greed?" asked the wizard. "You didn't set out to destroy the world." "Listen," said Big Oil, "does it matter if it's nuclear annihilation, a massive magical spell of worldwide devastation, or just a blatant disregard of environmental science? In the end, we all achieve the same thing!"
December 21, 2025 at 8:33 PM
vanellopemint.bsky.social
Ghosts 4: Destruction Past
The first ghost to appear to Unguent Lubricantum was a tyrannosaurus rex. "I am the ghost of world destruction past," said the t-rex. "Come with me." Unguent followed the creature. They travelled 66 million years into the past, to the end of the Cretaceous period. They watched as a massive asteroid, perhaps ten kilometers in diameter, struck the earth, causing the deaths of seventy-five percent of all life. Tears rolled down Unguent's face. "It's so beautiful!" he exclaimed.
December 20, 2025 at 6:53 PM
vanellopemint.bsky.social
Ghosts 3: the Puppy
"Tonight," said the ghost of Malice Miser the Merciless, "you shall be visited by three terrifying ghosts - the ghosts of world desctruction past, present and future...." "Is this because I spared that school for orphans twenty years ago?" asked Unguent Lubricantum. "You hated that. You called me weak." "These ghosts," said Malice, "will teach you the true meaning of carnage!" "It is, isn't it?" said the wizard peevishly. "Who destroys an orphanage? They even had a puppy!"
December 19, 2025 at 2:38 PM
vanellopemint.bsky.social
Ghosts 2: Evil Ways
Malice Miser the Merciless rattled his chains. "I am here to warn you, Unguent Lubricantum! If you do not mend your ways, you will wind up just like me, living a tormented afterlife!" The wizard scoffed. "Do you think one paltry ghost can scare me into forsaking my evil ways?" "Evil ways?" The ghost spat. "Don't make me laugh! You've talked a good game about being evil your entire life, but since when have you ever DONE anything?"
December 18, 2025 at 1:54 PM
vanellopemint.bsky.social
Ghosts 1: Malice
The evil wizard Unguent Lubricantum must have dozed off. When the clock struck Midnight, he awoke to the terrible sound of dragging chains. A hoary wraith shuffled into the room. "I know you," said Unguent. "You're my former partner Malice Miser the Merciless. Why do you appear before me? Are these chains your burden in the afterlife, due to your career of evil?" "No, no, don't you remember?" said the ghost. "This was my normal villain costume when I was alive."
December 17, 2025 at 2:40 PM
vanellopemint.bsky.social
Cryptid Festival
The town had a local cryptid legend, a Kataba - half-man, half-animal - that people swore was real. They held a yearly Kataba Festival. Like many such festivals, it was a way to draw people in to a town that was otherwise slowly dying. Earnest loved the festival. He wandered the stalls enjoying the sights and sounds, the colorful merchandise. It was a wonderful day where people would say, "Great costume!" instead of fleeing in abject terror.
December 16, 2025 at 2:50 PM
vanellopemint.bsky.social
Cleaning Up
The wizard Pax arranged his crystal ball and set it to record. He stood up straight and said, "The Van der Velde mausoleum behind me is considered among the most haunted in this kingdom - but perhaps the ghost of Florin Van der Velde is unhappy with how overgrown and decrepit it has become. I'm going to clear away the brush and undergrowth with the aid of magical power tools, and then we'll pressure-wash the entire thing with holy water...."
December 15, 2025 at 2:32 PM
Reposted by 🦋ShouldBeWriting🦋
warandpeas.bsky.social
4 panel comic by War and Peas 1. Panel: A hand hovering over a crossword page: "Mmh. Let's see." 2. Panel: "House entrance with four letters." 3. Panel: "Starting with a D?" 4. Panel: Zoom Out. You can see it's Santa Claus doing the crossword. He's angry: "That not how you spell chimney!"
December 11, 2025 at 6:15 PM
Reposted by 🦋ShouldBeWriting🦋
hammancheez.bsky.social
has anyone in a cybertruck tried to jump the gorge yet
December 11, 2025 at 2:40 PM
vanellopemint.bsky.social
Inflatable lavender Christmas hippo.
It’s about 2 feet tall, next to an office Christmas tree, with a Santa hat and a goofy grin. It’s definitely lavender, and a hippo.
December 11, 2025 at 2:43 PM
vanellopemint.bsky.social
Microfiction - Academy 1: Villainess
Freydis Cook stood at the gates of the Wyrmhaven Deep Elite Magic Academy - a magical school run by goblins, for goblins. However, it was the only magic academy in the area, so her father had paid - or bribed - to have her attend school. She was confronted by several goblin girls, led by one with long parallel curls in bright green. The goblin sniffed. "Smell that, girls? That's the smell of a human. Humans are outsiders here!" Freydis said, "I take it you're the villainess?"
December 1, 2025 at 2:55 PM
vanellopemint.bsky.social
Microfiction - Hermit’s Advice
The wise hermit closed his eyes and said, "Be like the sand dune - show your true grit." The traveller frowned. "Um...." "Be like the dolphin," intoned the hermit. "Find your true porpise." "I don't...." "Be like lightning, and stay current. And like the planet itself, be well-rounded and have a positive atmosphere." "Ah... no offense," said the traveller, "but this sounds like advice from a refrigerator magnet...." The hermit smiled. "Free advice is worth what you pay...."
November 30, 2025 at 11:22 PM
vanellopemint.bsky.social
Microfiction - Resurrection
Dherlieth Crieran, the dark elf priest, lifted his hands to the heavens. "I believe in no god," he intoned, "and so I direct my prayers to the infinite void of space. May I, by my own magic, restore this corpse back to life, whole in body and mind. If a soul exists, then may it return to this, it's abode." The dead dwarf stirred. He opened his eyes. Sven the paladin frowned. "An athiest priest should not be able to resurrect the dead." "But he can," replied Anika. "Praise the void!"
November 27, 2025 at 5:49 PM
vanellopemint.bsky.social
Microfiction - No Donation Required
Dherlieth Crieran examined the corpse. "How long has he been dead?" "Two hours," the dwarf replied. "Good," said the priest. "I will resurrect him." "But - you believe in no god!" "Nevertheless." The dwarf sighed. "I appreciate the offer, but I don't have enough gold to cover...." "Gold?" asked the dark elf. "As an offering to what god? I ask nothing; whatever you give me, I keep." "Oh?" The dwarf handed over a small pouch. "Does your sect accept converts...?"
November 26, 2025 at 2:31 PM
vanellopemint.bsky.social
Microfiction - Evil A.I.
The wizard Unguent Lubricantum said, "Have you heard of Destroyr, Villain AI Assistant? It's amazing!" His chameleon familiar looked doubtful. "Uh... AI?" "Yes! I'm using it to construct my new evil plan as we speak!" Moments later, he read: "Turn the Evil Meter up to 11 to bask in hatred, then turn your Hate Ray upon the world to unleash evil." The wizard frowned. "What is this garbage? This makes no sense at all!" "I mean," said the familiar, "it beats most of your own plans...."
November 25, 2025 at 2:35 PM
vanellopemint.bsky.social
Microfiction - Mirror on the Wall
The man rubbed a round mirror mounted on the wall. Within the reflection, a strange face appeared. "Mirror, please tell me who is the most well-liked in the world?" the man asked. "A difficult question. Possibly Keanu Reeves?" "What about me?" "You are supremely powerful," the mirror replied. "Your material empire is vast. You are capable of great and terrible things...." "But am I well-liked?" "On a likeability scale of Hitler to Keanu," said the mirror, "you're closer to Hitler...."
November 24, 2025 at 2:36 PM
Reposted by 🦋ShouldBeWriting🦋
albert.aribaud.net
#writever Authentic

My name is Lisa, pronounced ‘lissa’. Everything I am about to tell you is authentic, as I cannot lie any more than my parents can; and I am the daughter of Lilith and Satan, the only ones to ever tell the Creator any home truths.

#FlashFiction #SmallStory #MicroFiction
November 1, 2025 at 6:00 AM
vanellopemint.bsky.social
Microfiction - Ruffled Feathers
Lady Gygax sighed. Medea's raven said, "Problems?" "I was just lamenting the existence of unfinished books," replied Lady Gygax. "For example, The Salmon of Doubt by Douglass Adams, or Hornblower and the Crisis by C.S. Forester. It saddens me that these were never completed." "Ah. Well, don't let life ruffle your feathers!" The lich grinned as only a skeleton can. "I have no feathers, Dear Bird." "...Metaphorically speaking, of course."
November 24, 2025 at 1:45 AM
vanellopemint.bsky.social
Microfiction - Fibs
Billy Atterton raised his hand. "Ms. Rathbond," he said, "there's a woolly mammoth in the parking lot." The floor shook. His teacher frowned. "Billy, what have I said about telling fibs?" Billy squirmed in his seat. "But if you just look out the window...." "Now, Billy, no more nonsense, or I'll send you to the principal's office." Billy lapsed into silence. He chose to not even mention the rainbow-hue'd stegasaurus with the pink top hat.
November 22, 2025 at 6:27 PM
vanellopemint.bsky.social
Microfiction - The Truth About Jack
The truth about Jack and the beanstalk is that he tried to disguise himself as the famous Fum. Fum was revered among the giants who lived in their cloud castles, and thus his image was sacred. There were laws against creating images of him, or appearing as him, which Jack was unfamiliar with. Thus when the giants saw Jack dressed as their most sacred hero, they cried out, "Fee! Fine! Faux Fum!"
November 21, 2025 at 11:28 PM
vanellopemint.bsky.social
Microfiction - Rule 34
The first alien said, "Explain pornography." Gary shifted uncomfortably. 'That's... stories, art, video... designed for sexual arousal." "Explain," said the second alien, "your internet Rule 34." Gary blushed. "Ah... anything which exists also has pornography of it." "Humans have known of our existence for a week. Is there Rule 34 material featuring us?" "Absolutely." The first alien said to the second, "There, see? You owe me 100 stjels."
November 20, 2025 at 2:48 PM