@wastelandermike.bsky.social
I would be amphibious if it weren't for social constructs
July 1, 2025 at 6:23 PM
I would be amphibious if it weren't for social constructs
Looking at me is a crime
The punishment is perceiving me
The punishment is perceiving me
May 30, 2025 at 10:18 PM
Looking at me is a crime
The punishment is perceiving me
The punishment is perceiving me
You: I hate bugs! Spiders are gross! They're icky, and I hate them! I wish they'd all die!
Me: [giving CPR to a wasp I found drowning in a puddle] BREATHE! YOU HAVE SO MUCH TO LIVE FOR SASHA! STAY WITH ME!
Me: [giving CPR to a wasp I found drowning in a puddle] BREATHE! YOU HAVE SO MUCH TO LIVE FOR SASHA! STAY WITH ME!
May 15, 2025 at 7:38 PM
You: I hate bugs! Spiders are gross! They're icky, and I hate them! I wish they'd all die!
Me: [giving CPR to a wasp I found drowning in a puddle] BREATHE! YOU HAVE SO MUCH TO LIVE FOR SASHA! STAY WITH ME!
Me: [giving CPR to a wasp I found drowning in a puddle] BREATHE! YOU HAVE SO MUCH TO LIVE FOR SASHA! STAY WITH ME!
Looking at my 3D printer like "Yes my little machine, do my bidding!"
May 12, 2025 at 12:57 AM
Looking at my 3D printer like "Yes my little machine, do my bidding!"
Reposted
Can I blow up the moon? As a treat? I've been real good!
April 28, 2025 at 2:30 PM
Can I blow up the moon? As a treat? I've been real good!
Reposted
Your sound card works perfectly!
#GilbertGottfried
#GilbertGottfried
April 26, 2025 at 4:52 AM
Your sound card works perfectly!
#GilbertGottfried
#GilbertGottfried
Currently collaborating with your cat to communicate with croissants (congenially)
April 24, 2025 at 12:21 PM
Currently collaborating with your cat to communicate with croissants (congenially)
The war on the concept of what constitutes a fish continues
April 13, 2025 at 4:06 AM
The war on the concept of what constitutes a fish continues
Reposted
I wish there was a Waffle House nearby. I could use some irl pvp
April 5, 2025 at 6:39 AM
I wish there was a Waffle House nearby. I could use some irl pvp
LET'S GO GAMBLING
March 29, 2025 at 12:18 AM
LET'S GO GAMBLING
If quesadillas didn't already exist and Taco Bell came up with them, they'd call them "crispy cheese-a-ritos"
March 23, 2025 at 4:30 AM
If quesadillas didn't already exist and Taco Bell came up with them, they'd call them "crispy cheese-a-ritos"
I don't remember ever drinking Dr. Pepper mixed with milk. This either means I haven't done so, or it may have memory wiping properties
March 14, 2025 at 8:55 PM
I don't remember ever drinking Dr. Pepper mixed with milk. This either means I haven't done so, or it may have memory wiping properties
Reposted
Please hire me to be your town sorcerer. I can wave at bluebirds. I can glue googly eyes to seed pods and discarded soda cans. I can add previously unknown magic words to dictionaries in little free libraries. I can stand on the roof and send messages to the moon using paper airplanes.
March 8, 2025 at 8:09 PM
Please hire me to be your town sorcerer. I can wave at bluebirds. I can glue googly eyes to seed pods and discarded soda cans. I can add previously unknown magic words to dictionaries in little free libraries. I can stand on the roof and send messages to the moon using paper airplanes.
Reposted
If you don't like bats, I'm convinced you never saw one eat a banana
February 27, 2025 at 7:33 AM
If you don't like bats, I'm convinced you never saw one eat a banana
Most people don't know that bananas are radioactive.
Having read that, you are now no longer "most people"
Having read that, you are now no longer "most people"
February 23, 2025 at 9:18 PM
Most people don't know that bananas are radioactive.
Having read that, you are now no longer "most people"
Having read that, you are now no longer "most people"
I am the nefarious soup stirring man
February 12, 2025 at 8:08 PM
I am the nefarious soup stirring man
To the engineer at Ford who designed the headlights on the 2012 Transit Connect. I hope your socks get wet
February 2, 2025 at 8:24 PM
To the engineer at Ford who designed the headlights on the 2012 Transit Connect. I hope your socks get wet
"Can't a man boil his glue in peace?"
I said, boiling my glue
I said, boiling my glue
January 15, 2025 at 6:23 PM
"Can't a man boil his glue in peace?"
I said, boiling my glue
I said, boiling my glue
I miss the Among Us craze. Space bean nirvana.
January 5, 2025 at 11:25 PM
I miss the Among Us craze. Space bean nirvana.
Reposted
This is my emotional support psychosis.
January 1, 2025 at 2:40 PM
This is my emotional support psychosis.
Ahem... ligma
That is all
That is all
January 2, 2025 at 5:13 AM
Ahem... ligma
That is all
That is all