@wbyeets.bsky.social
Avatar is from “Wake and Sea” by Corey Arnold
Make someone fall in love with you in three words or less:
Free mustache rides
Free mustache rides
Make someone fall in love with you in three words or less:
Don’t pull out
Don’t pull out
Make someone fall in love with you in three words or less:
Eats, shoots, leaves
Eats, shoots, leaves
December 21, 2025 at 5:11 AM
Make someone fall in love with you in three words or less:
Free mustache rides
Free mustache rides
Make someone fall in love with you in three words or less:
Eats, shoots, leaves
Eats, shoots, leaves
Make someone fall in love with you in three words or less:
Cooks, cleans, fucks
Cooks, cleans, fucks
Make someone fall in love with you in three words or less:
I have snacks
I have snacks
December 21, 2025 at 12:50 AM
Make someone fall in love with you in three words or less:
Eats, shoots, leaves
Eats, shoots, leaves
She’s a 10 but she still calls it “Tar-zhay.”
He’s a 10, but the only things he buys you must be HSA-approved.
December 14, 2025 at 6:04 PM
She’s a 10 but she still calls it “Tar-zhay.”
She’s a 10 but she relies on AI for her dirty talk.
He’s a 10, but the only things he buys you must be HSA-approved.
December 14, 2025 at 5:43 PM
She’s a 10 but she relies on AI for her dirty talk.
Movie you’ve watched more than six times with a gif. Hard mode: no Stars (Wars nor Trek), LOTR, or Marvel, Disney Animated or Pixar.
December 8, 2025 at 6:06 AM
Movie you’ve watched more than six times with a gif. Hard mode: no Stars (Wars nor Trek), LOTR, or Marvel, Disney Animated or Pixar.
Maslow’s hierarchy of nipple clamps
Maslow’s Hierarchy of thirst traps
Maslow’s Hierarchy of Online Validation
December 4, 2025 at 5:36 AM
Maslow’s hierarchy of nipple clamps
Size doesn’t matter, I swear, Charlie Brown
Lots of men have this problem sometimes, Charlie Brown.
We don’t fit in out there, Sally
November 30, 2025 at 12:40 AM
Size doesn’t matter, I swear, Charlie Brown
The kegel-ian dialectic continues during sex
the Fucking Bitch Face stays on during sex
November 27, 2025 at 8:32 PM
The kegel-ian dialectic continues during sex
The cock Ring camera stays on during sex
the Fucking Bitch Face stays on during sex
November 27, 2025 at 8:14 PM
The cock Ring camera stays on during sex
It’s called earning your red wings, Charlie Brown.
It’s called ass-to-ass, Charlie Brown
That’s not it, Charlie Brown
November 25, 2025 at 3:56 AM
It’s called earning your red wings, Charlie Brown.
I track them in a Sexcel spreadsheet
If you sort and order your orgasms, can we say you ejacollate?
Ejacularious. Is that anything?
November 22, 2025 at 5:25 PM
I track them in a Sexcel spreadsheet
I’d marry my Water Pik because it’s compact, easily manipulated, and it squirts.
I'd marry my coffee bean grinder b/c it has a stop function, smells good, and, well, obviously, it GRINDS. 🫦
I’d marry my dryer because it responds to my touch, can go for an hour, and is always ready for a tumble.
November 22, 2025 at 1:00 AM
I’d marry my Water Pik because it’s compact, easily manipulated, and it squirts.
I’d marry my dryer because it responds to my touch, can go for an hour, and is always ready for a tumble.
I'd marry my dishwasher b/c it's steamy, holds a big load, and has a "quiet" setting.
I’d marry my refrigerator bc that thing is tall, chill, and will open wide for me.
November 22, 2025 at 12:50 AM
I’d marry my dryer because it responds to my touch, can go for an hour, and is always ready for a tumble.
I’d marry my refrigerator bc that thing is tall, chill, and will open wide for me.
When I phone banked & went door knocking for the marriage equality bill in 2013 people would actually say they were against it bc “What’s next? Marrying your toaster?” And like, I wish, bc that thing is hot, useful, I can always turn it on.
November 22, 2025 at 12:43 AM
I’d marry my refrigerator bc that thing is tall, chill, and will open wide for me.
I like my women like l like my straws
Bendy
Bendy
I like my men like I like my famous old geysers
Faithful
Faithful
November 20, 2025 at 4:30 AM
I like my women like l like my straws
Bendy
Bendy
Slip n Slide taste on a Glad bag budget
Heinz taste on a Hunt’s budget
Omakase taste on a sardine budget
November 20, 2025 at 4:20 AM
Slip n Slide taste on a Glad bag budget
Omakase taste on a sardine budget
Benadryl taste on a Wal-dryl budget
November 20, 2025 at 4:11 AM
Omakase taste on a sardine budget
I like my women like I like my fade
High and tight
High and tight
I like my men like I like
Mike’s Lemonade
Hard
Mike’s Lemonade
Hard
I like my women like I like my corn
Creamed
Creamed
November 20, 2025 at 4:08 AM
I like my women like I like my fade
High and tight
High and tight
I like my women like I like my corn
Creamed
Creamed
I like my men like I like my sea salt
Dead
Dead
November 20, 2025 at 4:02 AM
I like my women like I like my corn
Creamed
Creamed
What should I wear for an evening of eating out?
What’s the serving size for dick?
November 15, 2025 at 1:34 AM
What should I wear for an evening of eating out?
The sommelier said I wasn’t a vintage worth sampling, do you think that’s an aloofemism?
The lawyer said he wanted me to show him my "evidence," do you think that's a proofemism?
November 15, 2025 at 12:48 AM
The sommelier said I wasn’t a vintage worth sampling, do you think that’s an aloofemism?
I’d think about getting pegged if it wasn’t for the penetration
I’d think about being a lesbian if it wasn’t for the box-licking
November 9, 2025 at 12:12 AM
I’d think about getting pegged if it wasn’t for the penetration
Reposted
🎶 "Well I saw one Mr Lon Chaney yes he was walking he was gallivanting with the Queen and her retinue yes and I wondered whether their bodies were in a performance a stark imitation of the Werewolf of London." 🎶
Warren Zevon’s “Werewolves of London” by James Joyce
1 The shaggy, hunched Werewolf of London stalked the Soho street in the rain, carrying in his left hand a neatly folded Chinese menu pale as birch ...
buff.ly
October 30, 2025 at 5:25 PM
🎶 "Well I saw one Mr Lon Chaney yes he was walking he was gallivanting with the Queen and her retinue yes and I wondered whether their bodies were in a performance a stark imitation of the Werewolf of London." 🎶
Pop Cocks
Pork Peppermint Patties
Change one letter, ruin a candy
Tit Kat
Tit Kat
October 30, 2025 at 11:18 AM
Pop Cocks