Brett
@weakcookies.bsky.social
Cats, music, lolz, from TN, live in Indy, Crohns, married since 2000 to a real super lady.
Pinned
Brett
@weakcookies.bsky.social
· Jan 29
I like big CLOUDS 🧖♂️
and I cannot LIE 😇
I refer ya to my alveo-LI 🫁
That when a nail heats up 📛
and hits the ooey gooey gunk 🦠
and I’m coughing up a chunk 💨
I gets DUMB! 😵💫
Wanna grab the juice 🧃
Cuz a dab done knocked me loose 🫨
and I cannot LIE 😇
I refer ya to my alveo-LI 🫁
That when a nail heats up 📛
and hits the ooey gooey gunk 🦠
and I’m coughing up a chunk 💨
I gets DUMB! 😵💫
Wanna grab the juice 🧃
Cuz a dab done knocked me loose 🫨
Love when my prescription drug goes “bio similar”
November 26, 2025 at 2:56 AM
Love when my prescription drug goes “bio similar”
Claiming goth credentials you didn’t earn: Stolen Pallor
November 25, 2025 at 11:51 PM
Claiming goth credentials you didn’t earn: Stolen Pallor
It’s not Jesse palmers fault he looks like Sean duffy
November 25, 2025 at 10:47 PM
It’s not Jesse palmers fault he looks like Sean duffy
I’m in an abusive relationship with cannabis. I abuse the stuff. I could do better and have no plans to.
November 25, 2025 at 8:07 PM
I’m in an abusive relationship with cannabis. I abuse the stuff. I could do better and have no plans to.
Smoking that shit that made three of your cousins regret that “walk”
November 25, 2025 at 4:22 PM
Smoking that shit that made three of your cousins regret that “walk”
My cats get more ensconced than most
November 25, 2025 at 4:06 PM
My cats get more ensconced than most
Up and at thumb
I am up and at them. I am collecting thumbs before 8am and you’re sleeping. You are snoozing. Get up and start REACTING foo
November 25, 2025 at 3:48 PM
Up and at thumb
I am up and at them. I am collecting thumbs before 8am and you’re sleeping. You are snoozing. Get up and start REACTING foo
November 25, 2025 at 1:02 PM
I am up and at them. I am collecting thumbs before 8am and you’re sleeping. You are snoozing. Get up and start REACTING foo
Reposted by Brett
My wife owns me at Thumb War 😕
July 5, 2024 at 2:19 AM
My wife owns me at Thumb War 😕
Reposted by Brett
recruiting some ham fists for my thumb war league
December 8, 2023 at 5:23 PM
recruiting some ham fists for my thumb war league
Reposted by Brett
Reposted by Brett
We really need a lot more systems that are independent of billionaires.
November 25, 2025 at 1:25 AM
We really need a lot more systems that are independent of billionaires.
I would have a hard time not asking Colin Jost about Scarlett Johansson because I am 12 and rightly have no platform
November 25, 2025 at 3:20 AM
I would have a hard time not asking Colin Jost about Scarlett Johansson because I am 12 and rightly have no platform
I will never “react” to an email. You (literally) have my word on it.
November 24, 2025 at 10:06 PM
I will never “react” to an email. You (literally) have my word on it.
Since I read this I find I am doing a separate QC on emails to include “wait can they read?” as criteria for potential edits. What a time suck!
ever since I learned about three-cueing I've developed infinitely more patience for replies on social media. mfers literally do not know how to read. people are walking around conjuring random meanings into words they don't know, and they don't know a lot of words. it's crazy
November 24, 2025 at 10:02 PM
Since I read this I find I am doing a separate QC on emails to include “wait can they read?” as criteria for potential edits. What a time suck!
Do you put two spaces between state and ZIP?
November 24, 2025 at 7:20 PM
Do you put two spaces between state and ZIP?
utopia where coming to a meeting “strapped” means being accompanied by your legal reps
November 24, 2025 at 6:54 PM
utopia where coming to a meeting “strapped” means being accompanied by your legal reps
Mariah finally admitting that yes, she did know her. It was Charlie Brown all along.
November 24, 2025 at 2:16 PM
Mariah finally admitting that yes, she did know her. It was Charlie Brown all along.
Life ruining crash out in 3…2….EON
Saying “one” like “eon” until I’m a ward of the state
November 24, 2025 at 1:46 PM
Life ruining crash out in 3…2….EON
Saying “one” like “eon” until I’m a ward of the state
November 24, 2025 at 1:45 PM
Saying “one” like “eon” until I’m a ward of the state
Reposted by Brett
⚫️ Décès de la légende du reggae Jimmy Cliff, a annoncé la famille.
November 24, 2025 at 12:17 PM
⚫️ Décès de la légende du reggae Jimmy Cliff, a annoncé la famille.
Need a moratorium on Kevin hart. One year.
November 23, 2025 at 11:33 PM
Need a moratorium on Kevin hart. One year.
Have you atoned for my fumble?
November 23, 2025 at 9:01 PM
Have you atoned for my fumble?
Fanny Fanny Frontbutt
November 23, 2025 at 5:47 PM
Fanny Fanny Frontbutt
Reposted by Brett
Hey babe what’s a Turkey
November 23, 2025 at 2:26 PM
Hey babe what’s a Turkey