@wtfschmuck.bsky.social
I spent many summers going to Sanibel Island for family reunions. I have so many good memories of combing the beach for shells and playing with cousins I'd only see for those annual weeks in Florida.
Today is the official release day for Sanibel! This one has a special place in my heart because I made it for my dad, who was an insatiable shark tooth collector and who loved shells as well. He got to play a pre-production copy on Sanibel about 6 weeks before he died last year.
Love you dad ♥️
Love you dad ♥️
January 16, 2026 at 2:02 PM
I spent many summers going to Sanibel Island for family reunions. I have so many good memories of combing the beach for shells and playing with cousins I'd only see for those annual weeks in Florida.
The person training me at this new job really makes me appreciate how awesome I am at training/teaching others.
January 16, 2026 at 1:56 PM
The person training me at this new job really makes me appreciate how awesome I am at training/teaching others.
Well at least that Dilbert fuck died.
January 14, 2026 at 6:29 PM
Well at least that Dilbert fuck died.
I started a new job this week but they haven't given me any responsibilities yet so I've just been sitting here trying to not fall asleep but this dude keeps yawning so fucking loud I feel like I'm going to die.
January 14, 2026 at 6:24 PM
I started a new job this week but they haven't given me any responsibilities yet so I've just been sitting here trying to not fall asleep but this dude keeps yawning so fucking loud I feel like I'm going to die.
An anxiety of exclamation marks
August 7, 2025 at 5:33 PM
An anxiety of exclamation marks
I'm so fucking mad at Microsoft for making me switch to the new version of Outlook. It'd be one thing if I just had to get used to a new format, but this is hot garbage and I'm so fucking mad.
July 16, 2025 at 5:57 PM
I'm so fucking mad at Microsoft for making me switch to the new version of Outlook. It'd be one thing if I just had to get used to a new format, but this is hot garbage and I'm so fucking mad.
The amount they're pushing that new Dexter show tells me that it's probably shit despite an all star cast.
July 14, 2025 at 12:53 PM
The amount they're pushing that new Dexter show tells me that it's probably shit despite an all star cast.
if I don't go to the beach soon I will explode
July 11, 2025 at 3:31 PM
if I don't go to the beach soon I will explode
I had a coworker die recently and haven't been able to find an online obituary or any place to send flowers. So, here is a short offering of words to his life and memory.
May 28, 2025 at 3:02 PM
I had a coworker die recently and haven't been able to find an online obituary or any place to send flowers. So, here is a short offering of words to his life and memory.
It's wild that 20 years ago ads for ED were mostly obscene spam emails/porn site banners or silver foxes playing golf on TV using euphemisms. And now in the middle of daylight I get YouTube ads saying how sexy it is that her man takes dick pills and how he's girthier then ever before.
May 20, 2025 at 9:31 PM
It's wild that 20 years ago ads for ED were mostly obscene spam emails/porn site banners or silver foxes playing golf on TV using euphemisms. And now in the middle of daylight I get YouTube ads saying how sexy it is that her man takes dick pills and how he's girthier then ever before.
Sometimes it feels like in my social interactions I set up hurdles that other people aren't willing to jump.
May 20, 2025 at 4:08 PM
Sometimes it feels like in my social interactions I set up hurdles that other people aren't willing to jump.
I went to a gun range for the first time today because I'm scared for what the future holds and I want to be prepared for the worst. I think Americans are too docile to do anything meaningful to change the status quo until it's too late. I hope that's not the case, but I'll be prepared either way.
January 26, 2025 at 3:44 AM
I went to a gun range for the first time today because I'm scared for what the future holds and I want to be prepared for the worst. I think Americans are too docile to do anything meaningful to change the status quo until it's too late. I hope that's not the case, but I'll be prepared either way.
Successfully covered the opening of a can with a cough to avoid cats demanding to smell it.
January 20, 2025 at 11:07 PM
Successfully covered the opening of a can with a cough to avoid cats demanding to smell it.
What a boring dystopia
January 20, 2025 at 8:09 PM
What a boring dystopia
In college, I took a class on David Lynch to impress a boy. 2 weeks in, I came to the conclusion that I don't enjoy most of his work. It was too late to drop the class so I got to watch a ton of movies that I fucking hated. I did wind up marrying the boy, so not a complete waste I guess. RIP
January 16, 2025 at 7:11 PM
In college, I took a class on David Lynch to impress a boy. 2 weeks in, I came to the conclusion that I don't enjoy most of his work. It was too late to drop the class so I got to watch a ton of movies that I fucking hated. I did wind up marrying the boy, so not a complete waste I guess. RIP
My job is giving us fajitas today but my boss put me in this goddamn zoom meeting right at noon and I don't think I will survive but if I do I will never forgive him. I HAVE NOTHING TO CONTRIBUTE TO THIS MEETING LET ME EAT FREE FOOD!!!!
January 15, 2025 at 5:26 PM
My job is giving us fajitas today but my boss put me in this goddamn zoom meeting right at noon and I don't think I will survive but if I do I will never forgive him. I HAVE NOTHING TO CONTRIBUTE TO THIS MEETING LET ME EAT FREE FOOD!!!!
We don't have a microwave, so my time saving hack is skipping step 1 when it's leftovers.
My three easy steps to preparing dinner:
1) time everything perfectly so that it's all ready/hot at the exact same time
2) sit down in front of TV and spend 45 minutes picking the perfect thing to watch
3) eat cold food in front of a show I’ve already seen a dozen times anyway
1) time everything perfectly so that it's all ready/hot at the exact same time
2) sit down in front of TV and spend 45 minutes picking the perfect thing to watch
3) eat cold food in front of a show I’ve already seen a dozen times anyway
January 10, 2025 at 2:50 AM
We don't have a microwave, so my time saving hack is skipping step 1 when it's leftovers.
Just watched Juror No 2 and it was very okay, which is disappointing.
January 10, 2025 at 2:41 AM
Just watched Juror No 2 and it was very okay, which is disappointing.
Greensboro has decided that if cops see someone sitting or sleeping on a sidewalk they can fine them. Yeah, let's squeeze blood out of that stone instead of providing housing to our most vulnerable.
December 22, 2024 at 2:18 PM
Greensboro has decided that if cops see someone sitting or sleeping on a sidewalk they can fine them. Yeah, let's squeeze blood out of that stone instead of providing housing to our most vulnerable.
This is the most boring dystopia.
December 21, 2024 at 3:17 AM
This is the most boring dystopia.
Chocolate milk and HGH...
December 19, 2024 at 2:58 AM
Chocolate milk and HGH...
How the fuck is Kyle vegan? Is he just a living example of the horseshoe theory?
December 19, 2024 at 2:42 AM
How the fuck is Kyle vegan? Is he just a living example of the horseshoe theory?
Honestly, fuck it, give Sole Survivor to Sue. She's worn earrings all season and that's insane.
December 19, 2024 at 2:24 AM
Honestly, fuck it, give Sole Survivor to Sue. She's worn earrings all season and that's insane.
Damn, didn't even think about Sam having sports autism and pulling out the stats.
December 19, 2024 at 2:20 AM
Damn, didn't even think about Sam having sports autism and pulling out the stats.
My husband has a guilty face, so sometimes I quiz him on what he needs to do if accused of a crime.
You should never be in a room with police for more than an hour. If they read you your Miranda rights, you’re a suspect. Shut it down. Demand a lawyer. This is just some of the advice I got from a retired FBI Special Agent, and two renowned false confessions experts.
/thread
/thread
December 19, 2024 at 1:56 AM
My husband has a guilty face, so sometimes I quiz him on what he needs to do if accused of a crime.