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Reposted by Norismobster

Matt Owen @mjowen174.bsky.social · 1h

If you could please do us a favour and RT (or whatever it is on here) my writing CV I would be extremely grateful. I am a very capable writer of words, mainly “humorous”’ and if you have some PROPER paid work for me, please DM me. Thank you for your time www.mathew-owen.co.uk

Home | Matt Owen | Freelance Writer

I offer a broad and diverse range of writing services. Get in touch!

www.mathew-owen.co.uk

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Norismobster @borismonster.bsky.social · 1d

Thanks for the tip. I worked out the sell/buy thing. I might have knackered my platinum haul for the CG. My osmium should be ok

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Norismobster @borismonster.bsky.social · 1d

Hey Elite Dangerous players, is there a problem transferring cargo from fleet carrier to ship at the moment?

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Norismobster @borismonster.bsky.social · 1d

Kid should start keeping a diary.

Sophie Sherry @sophiesherry.bsky.social · 1d

During a military-style raid on a building in Chicago’s South Shore, one resident heard a knock on his door.   It wasn’t the feds — it was a mom and her 7-year-old daughter, pleading for help.

He let them hide in his unit for the next 3 days.

chicago.suntimes.com/immigration/...

Neighbor shielded 7-year-old during South Shore federal raid: ‘I didn’t want them to take her’

During the Sept. 30 raid one tenant protected a terrified girl and her mom. Remnants at the complex, including a detailed map of all the units, offer clues to what authorities may have known before th...

chicago.suntimes.com

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Norismobster @borismonster.bsky.social · 2d

Maybe the Nobel Committee should send him a runner up prize.

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cow tools daily @cowtoolsdaily.bsky.social · 2d

it's not FOR us

edited comic panel. Batman is breaking a lump-with-handle cow tool over his knee and saying "this is the tool of the cow. we do not understand it. we will not use it."

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Norismobster @borismonster.bsky.social · 3d

I dread being diagnosed with a terrible disease as I really don't want to do a fucking sponsored walk.

Norismobster @borismonster.bsky.social · 3d

Oh gawd I've just heard that Charlie Mackesy has found another load of inspirational fridge magnets to turn into a book.🤢

Norismobster @borismonster.bsky.social · 4d

Exit polls predict win for Reform.

Shar A @sharal.bsky.social · 4d

“Give it some minge!” he exclaimed.

Write a horror story in six words or less

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Norismobster @borismonster.bsky.social · 7d

People that want to withdraw the UK from the ECHR should waive their protection under the convention for a month. Then they could be imprisoned and tortured for a couple of weeks to see if they miss it.

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David Ferguson-Honsbein 🏳️‍🌈 @davidpbferguson.bsky.social · 7d

@erislovesmovies.bsky.social

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Dr. Sabrina Mittermeier @smittermeier.bsky.social · 8d

50% of The Life of a Showgirl

An ad in the New York Subway that appears to read „It‘s Amazing How a Big Fat Cock can Ease the Pain“ cause of a handlebar blocking a letter

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Captain Howdy @captainhowdy.bsky.social · 8d

Today's Hallowmeme.

The Distracted Boyfriend mem, but the distracted boyfriend is now the transformed Detective Sgt. Bung (Harry H. Corbett) after he's had a noggin of Dr. Jekyll's potion. The object of his attention is Valeria Watt (Fenella Fielding) and his clearly furious girlfriend is now Emily Bung (Joan Sims).

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Deanna Kreisel 🌱 @doctorwaffle.substack.com · 10d

In honor of National Poetry Day, the greatest parody rewrite of all time:

Screen cap of parodic version of William Blake's "The Tyger" that begins:
Tyger! Tyger! Burning bright
(Not sure if I spelled that right)
What immortal hand or eye
Could fashion such a stripy guy?
What the hammer that hath hewn it
Into such a chonky unit?
Did who made the lamb make thee,
Or an external franchisee?

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Norismobster @borismonster.bsky.social · 10d

Got on, but it's just Black Addered me. Might call it a day.

Norismobster @borismonster.bsky.social · 10d

All good I'm on now

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Norismobster @borismonster.bsky.social · 10d

Hey Elite Dangerous players, are the servers down?

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Norismobster @borismonster.bsky.social · 11d

My son has observed that every charity shop is obliged to hold a copy of X-Men 2 on dvd.

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Professor Stanley OooOOoonwin @professorunwin.bsky.social · 11d

Pinchly-punchit, firstly monthlode and whitelymost bunnyfloppers there.

Seasol of mistyfole and mellowy fruitlode - Greety-ho to Octoble!

Deep joy.

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Norismobster @borismonster.bsky.social · 13d

Literally everybody involved in the Ryder Cup seem like absolute wankers.

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Norismobster @borismonster.bsky.social · 15d

Calm down Mrs Putin.

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Norismobster @borismonster.bsky.social · 20d

Which explains the wobbly sets and stilted dialogue.

Keir Starmer in a newspaper with headline "Our Nation's Crossroads"

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Anne Billson @annebillson.bsky.social · 23d

CATS ON FILM (kindle or paperback)
"possibly the greatest book ever"
"one of the finest pieces of specialist film scholarship published in recent years”
“Bonus: includes My Day by Jones, AKA Alien from the cat's PoV. Fun!”
www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1978038747

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Norismobster @borismonster.bsky.social · 25d

Presumably Kemi will be boycotting Trump's state visit as we know how much Epstein associates upset her.

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Frank Conniff @frankconniff.bsky.social · 25d

One of these rich dudes invested in a food company with all proceeds going to kids in need. The other started Sundance Institute, boosting the lives of countless artists. Hey modern rich dudes, don't be a typical greedy AI crypto-prick, be like these two.

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